Willow Crossley - The Wild Journal: A Year of Nurturing Yourself Through Nature

For my Da. With all my love xx

When I was in my early twenties, all I wanted was people and pavements, music and parties. I loved the variety of London life: the noise, the endless entertainment, the restaurants, the architecture, the fact that my friends were only two minutes away at all times. I had the time of my life.

And I really loved the city, for about ten years. Then slowly, without me even really noticing, I started to become anxious and rudderless and knew that my lifestyle wasnt making me particularly happy. By burning the candle at both ends, days and nights were merging. My time was spent in an office, barely seeing the light of day or even finding a moment to get outside. I felt like I had no purpose and knew something had to change. I found myself reminiscing more and more about the days spent outside in my childhood.

I grew up in the middle of nowhere in rural Wales among fields and sheep and whatever the weather, days were spent in the fresh air with my two brothers. It was what we did from the time we woke until we were dragged inside at dusk.

In the summer we made dens in the woods and swam in the river. We were carefree; insisting on meals outside, we picnicked in the bluebells with friends. We watched our father on his combine harvester. Autumn and winter were the same we simply wore a few more layers and hoped snow would arrive once the mushroom and blackberry gathering was over. After a decade in London, I was struggling to cope in my city life. So, when my husband Charlie who was my boyfriend at the time announced that he was leaving the UK to run a vineyard in the South of France, I made the monumental decision to quit London and join him there. I landed on a chilly, bright morning in March. Like a picture on a postcard, the sea was sparkling and the mountains were snow-capped. The sky went on for miles. My view from the kitchen window became olive trees and vines instead of urban walls. We would fall asleep to the sounds of chatting frogs rather than wailing sirens.

I remember those first few days sitting in the local harbour with the sun on our faces, watching the fishermen coming and going and not quite being able to believe our luck. How could life suddenly be so different? Two days earlier Id been dragging our tiny dachshund, Alice, around Brompton Cemetery in grey drizzle, getting drenched by passing buses. Now she was running along the beach, barking at waves with the sea breeze in her tail.

A month after arriving, I realized that I could breathe again. My shoulders dropped, the knot in my chest disappeared and I could actually, properly breathe. I was sleeping well, my appetite had returned, my mind was untangling and my anxiety was definitely dissipating. I put this new energy down to the fact that I was spending so much time outside surrounded by nature. Since we were small, my mother had taught us the importance of being healthy and looking after ourselves properly so Id always been aware of the need to exercise and eat well but until this point, I dont think I had ever consciously realized how strong the link could be between my happiness and the surrounding environment.

The more time I spent outside, the happier I found myself. The happier I became, the more creative and inspired I felt. I became fascinated by this correlation, and began to look deeper into how and why being in nature affects us so immeasurably. This research became poignantly important when our first son was born and I found myself struggling with postnatal depression. Ive been a worrier for as long as I can remember, but Id never experienced anything like it before. I didnt know what to do with myself. For some reason, I couldnt talk about it not even to Charlie or my parents. I dont know if I was subconsciously embarrassed or ashamed or if I didnt think Id be able to face their reactions if I did tell them. Like so many others, I pretended I was fine, slapped on a smile and when I was alone, I would cry and cry and cry, hyperventilating with the pain and desperation that I felt.

The hardest part was knowing that I should be happy. I had a divine baby, a wonderful family and fabulous friends, lived in the South of France on a vineyard with my gorgeous husband, and was lucky enough to have no big financial pressures. How dare I feel like this?

It took me a long time to get help; it was a whole year before I got myself to the doctor. I became an expert on the subject of postnatal depression. I researched and read, listened to and watched anything I thought would help. Cookbooks, self-help books, medical essays, Mumsnet, depression forums, Google: it consumed me twenty-four hours a day. But what really helped during this time and gave me a lift were the tiny things, such as turning my face to the sun, absorbing myself in flower arranging or just spending time in nature. I tried to do just one thing a week outside, even if it was a struggle because I knew it would make me feel a tiny bit better. And when I look back on that time, I realize that it was nature and the outside world that gave me more sustenance than anything else.

The nourishment I took from my natural surroundings makes sense, given the fact that connecting with nature is part of our DNA. We are programmed to be part of the natural world. We need to be surrounded and immersed in it to flourish. Equally, if we are removed or taken away from it we will begin to suffer. This concept is known as biophilia, and it was originally conceived by the psychoanalyst Erich Fromm in the 1960s. The term is taken from the Greek word meaning love of life and the living world, referring to our primal urge to connect with the natural world.

In this book, Ill share my research and ideas about how you, too, can feel calmer, grounded and more joyful. Ill show you how immersing yourself in nature can increase your creativity and create curiosity. Im aware that happiness doesnt just happen overnight its very much a cumulative process but Im also in the camp that believes every little bit helps. Whether its tiny things like going for a walk with friends, bringing plants into your home, picnicking in the bluebells, or creative projects such as making your own festive wreath, allowing yourself to recognize the benefits might be the first step.

The Wild Journal is designed to be interactive and is spread out over the course of a year. There are pages for your own notes so you can fill in your reflections, plans and dreams. The chapters are split into seasons and in each one you will find inspirational ideas for craft projects, recipes, outings, exercises, floral arrangements, walks and home-styling, all using natural materials. None of these ideas requires huge amounts of money, time or effort or even the need for a garden or outside space so whatever your situation, there is hopefully something to bring you closer to nature.

Willow