(c) 2021 Heather Spillman
All Rights Reserved.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written permission of the author.
First published by On the Write Path Publishing
5023 W. 120th Ave. #228
Broomfield, CO 80020
Paperback ISBN: 978-1-63837-046-8
eBook ISBN: 978-1-63837-047-5
This book is printed on acid-free paper.
Printed in the United States of America
THANK YOUS
I would like to thank several people for helping me make this project happen:
First, I want to thank my husband for his amazing support of me and my (sometimes crazy) ideas and for being a great spellchecker and proofreader. I love you Jason, thank you.
Second, Id like to thank my kids; my daughter who has been a terrific sounding board and supported this project from the start, and my son who cheered me on and was also a great spellchecker and proofreader. I love you both, thank you.
Third, I want to thank Michael Vrooman, my friend, my sounding board on this project and the all around amazing human he is, thank you.
BUT MOST OF ALL, I would like to thank every single person who is part of this book! Your willingness to put yourselves out there and share your experiences is incredibly brave and beautiful, thank you.
IN MEMORIAM
I would like to take a moment and remember the oldest contributor I have, Corky. We lost him to COVID-19 in the middle of writing this book. He was an icon in his own right and by his answers you can see he lived through some of the most significant times in LGBTQ+ history. I wanted to include a couple of correspondences I had with him which show why he chose to participate and supported this project.
Hi Heather. Being 76, there are lots of questions I can add some inputsome with only a sentence or two, others a bit longer, if youd want that? Ill be working on it starting tomorrow, and get it back to you asap. Bless your heart for this undertaking trying to help our younger, up-and-coming gay youths! One mother once said to me, Corky, these kids dont have a clue what you all had to go through! With your help many will benefit from your book! Thanks for including me
: -)! Hi Heather. Just wanted to let you knowI havent forgotten about you and your project! The question about the changes I have seen took lots of space since Ive been around for so long. LOL FINALLY it's finished and sent to you! Again, Im sorry it took so long and so ramblingit's also a book (or short story) in itself.
Good luck and please keep me posted! With Love & Hugs Corky, I hope you are dancing the freest you ever have! Thank you for sharing all of you always!
Let me introduce myself. My name is Heather, I am the mother of a member of the LGBTQ+ community and a fierce ally. As an ally, I show up to our state capitol when legislation is being brought, I help protect people at LGBTQ+ events with an incredible organization called Parasol Patrol, and I am a hugger! I give hugs at Pride events with Free Mom Hugs and an amazing thing happens when you provide a safe and loving hug, people tend to spill their personal truth and tell you their innermost secrets. The things I have whispered in my ear get me choked up but I refuse to let the tears fall in the moment, because I am there to be strong and loving to the person Im hugging. When I get back into my car to go home, I sit for a moment and let the tears out and reflect on the hurt and loneliness and longing for acceptance that I heard that day.
I write this book using the real voices and life experiences from an amazing group of people willing to share their truth. This book will hopefully give lonely people a sense of belonging, and give family and friends, who do not accept a person as who they are, insight and understanding to maybe, just maybe change their minds. I also want to share good information for all of us to further our education in accepting people just as they are!
I have asked a good cross section of people from the LGBTQ+ community to answer a list of questions and I have kept them anonymous so they could be truthful without worry. Each is identified by a name, their age and how they identify (if they chose to reveal that). Every chapter title is one of the questions, and each chapter's content will go in order of age from oldest to youngest so you can see what the different eras have had to deal with, or if they are reaping the benefits of those who came before them. The age range is from 76 years old to 20 years old. Each person has their own life story, the place where they grew up, what their family is like, and what they have been through. Their personal stories are sure to have something that you will relate to in some way. I knew going in that I was asking people to feel something incredibly personal and step completely out of their comfort zone, but I was hopeful that the anonymity would give them free license to tell their story and it might even be cathartic for them. I did have a few people decline to participate, saying they couldnt go back there again. I think this is an exclamation point on this project, and proof that the stories need to be told and shared to give something tangible to people, so they dont feel like they are the only one and that there is hope and good things to come. I did not require them to answer every question but kept them in the lineup, so to speak. In case you want to read just their story, youll know where to find them in each chapter.
My intention for this book is to give those of you on your coming out journey, insights to see that you are not alone. My objective for this book is to give parents, friends and family of an LGBTQ+ person better enlightenment into the community. My purpose for this book is to give everyone a chance of understanding.
The people you will hear from are wonderfully diverse, incredibly giving of their voice and have three things in common. They are people who are productive members of society, they are a part of the LGBTQ+ community, and they have my love and respect and so much gratitude for their willingness to participate!
When I asked everyone to answer the questions, I told them to give me their favorite LGBTQ+ nonprofit so that a portion of the proceeds from this book could be donated. Here is a list of the nonprofits, some mentioned several times:
AIDS/Lifecycle
BTAC (Black Trans Advocacy Coalition)
Colorado AIDS Project
Colorado Gay Rodeo Association
Denver Gay Men's Chorus
Feeding Denver's Hungry
GDNAF (The Greg Dollgener Memorial AIDS fund)
Human Rights Campaign (2 times)
Imperial Court of the Rocky Mountain Empire
LGBT Center of LA
NGLTF
NOH8 Campaign
Parasol Patrol
Project Angel Heart (5 times)
