Penny Ferguson - Transform your life: 52 brilliant ideas for becoming the person you want to be

Transform
your life

Copyright The Infinite Ideas Company Limited, 2005, 2007

The right of Penny Ferguson to be identified as the author of this book has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988

First published in 2005, second edition 2007 by
The Infinite Ideas Company Limited
36 St Giles
Oxford
OX1 3LD
United Kingdom
www.infideas.com

All rights reserved. Except for the quotation of small passages for the purposes of criticism and review, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning or otherwise, except under the terms of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 or under the terms of a licence issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency Ltd, 90 Tottenham Court Road, London W1T 4LP, UK, without the permission in writing of the publisher. Requests to the publisher should be addressed to the Permissions Department, Infinite Ideas Limited, 36 St Giles, Oxford, OX1 3LD, UK, or faxed to +44 (0)1865 514777.

A CIP record for this book is available from the British Library

ISBN 10: 1-904902-65-0
ISBN 13: 978-1-904902-65-2

Brand and product names are trademarks or registered trademarks of their respective owners.

Designed and typeset by Baseline Arts Ltd, Oxford
Printed in India

Brilliant ideas

To transform your life you have to understand how to take full responsibility for what you can make happen. And this means learning the difference between what you can control and what you cant.

Do you live life as though you are two people? Is there one person for work and another one for home? Or one for strangers and another for friends?

If you better your communication skills youll also improve your relationship, enhance your performance at work and create more enjoyment in your social life.

Everybody needs to know that theyre appreciated. However, its easy to forget this and simply criticise the performance of our team and the behaviour of our families and friends.

Making assumptions about people from first impressions is at best unfair and at worst very dangerous. It can lead you to treat people as though your perception of them is true.

A positive mental attitude can transform a glass from being half empty to being half full and then actually help to fill the glass.

Beliefs can have both negative and positive effects on our lives. Recognising that a belief can be changed can be liberating and is the way forward to a more fulfilled life.

A common belief is that confidence is a cloak or a set of skills that can be acquired in order to become more effective. Moreover, we often let a supposed lack of confidence stop us from doing things that we want to do.

Leadership at work, at play or with family recognises different styles of approach to inspire individuals to act in the best interests of themselves and of the group.

Its probably easier to live life to the full if we have people around us who support and encourage us.

Are you really making decisions for yourself? Or are there times when you feel out of control, as though you have no choices?

We can look at motivation from two perspectives: motivation that costs money and motivation that costs your time. Whether at work or at leisure, its helpful to understand these different ways of motivating people.

If we assume people are workshy, untrustworthy and lack commitment and then proceed to treat them as though this is how they are, theyll probably start to exhibit this kind of behaviour.

We have many needs in life, and some wont even surface until others are truly satisfied. To help others fulfil all their needs is a key role for a great leader.

Great teamwork is encouraging other peoples ideas and then building on them. We immediately have a supporter the person whose idea it was! We may also end up with an even better idea.

Think things through properly and youll make better decisions. Moreover, helping others to think things through will improve their decisions and at the same time enhance your leadership and relationship skills.

The motivation to change has to come from within us. People can, of course, encourage us in a number of ways, but ultimately motivation isnt an external energy.

Many people believe that there are barriers limiting their ability to succeed or achieve their maximum potential. These barriers need to be removed in order to allow a different and clearer way of thinking.

Its exciting and liberating to think beyond our self-imposed limits. Above all, it gives us the opportunity to make a real difference in our own lives and the lives of others.

We do have a choice about how we live our lives. For example, we can choose to focus on work. Alternatively, we can place a higher priority on family and leisure. Whatever our choice, how do we get the balance just right?

We live the lives we choose to live. We react to people the way we choose to react to people. However, what we believe about ourselves can limit our choices and make us feel like victims of circumstance or mistreatment.

Its too easy to live your life the way others want you to live it. Even scarier, you may not even recognise that youre doing it.

We spend a lot of time communicating with people in the hope that well be able to influence them in some way. We know the outcome were seeking and the action wed like them to take. Heres a way to maximise your ability to influence people.

I spent most of my life believing that I was doing what I wanted with my life. Then I realised that I wasnt my own person at all as Id never actually sat down and thought hard about how I really wanted my life to be.

How many times when youve been furious or deeply upset have you said or done something that you bitterly regret? I bet you still squirm when you think about these moments.

When helping others to come up with ideas and make their own decisions, use their language not yours. Its extraordinary the influence you can have just by listening to people and even by simply getting them to repeat what theyve said.

If we truly want to become the best we can be in any field of endeavour then we need someone who can tell us, openly and honestly, how were doing.

Good communication enhances relationships. The mood of a family dinner or the success of a business meeting can be transformed when we actually understand each other rather than simply think that we do.

When someones thinking hard in order to reach the best decision about something, we can fall into a trap called giving advice. This often hampers the thinker and can be devastating.

When it comes to imagination, experience can be a handicap. As we grow older, our thinking can become increasingly restricted, preferring traditional thoughts to imaginative ones that could transform our lives.

In a relationship, life is apt to take over and we can begin to drift apart without realising that its happening. Suddenly we can find that we dont actually know each other any more.

Your moment of choice lies in the gap between stimulus and response. Taking responsibility is the most empowering thing you can do once you truly understand its meaning.

Appreciating a diversity of views and ideas can encourage us to let go of some of our limitations and enable us to think more deeply.

We think best when were with people we feel comfortable with. Feeling inferior to or better than someone limits this ability.

Three kinds of assumptions can hinder changes we wish to make in order to achieve the life we want and deserve: facts, possible facts and bedrock assumptions. We can think our way round all of them.