Hyapatia Lee - The Secret Lives of Hyapatia Lee

The Secret Lives
of
Hyapatia Lee

by Hyapatia Lee

Copyright 2000 by Hyapatia Lee

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the author.

ISBN: 1-58721-906-9

ISBN: 978-1-4208-9773-9 (eBook)

1stBooks-rev. 10/06/00

About the Book

The world is fascinated by sex and the sex industry. In the last 20 years we have seen X-rated movies go from a theater in the worst part of town to our own VCRs and on the menu of expensive hotels as in-room entertainment. Its stars have gone from being virtual unknowns in the early 70s to doing appearances on Jay Leno and television talk shows. The adult film business has grown by leaps and bounds. In 1984 alone more people rented or bought an X-rated movie than voted for Ronald Regan.

In this book I have given the reader an uncensored, inside look at all the workings of the sex industry from movies and magazines to mens clubs and all the emotions that go along with it. By reading these excerpts from my personal diary, I share with you the anger, elation, sadness and fear that have comprised my life. I give an inside look at the many famous people Ive met and their personal quirks. As the first Native American porn star, I show you how this line of work is seen in the eyes of my religion and culture and I share some of the healing ceremonies I have experienced.

Why would a young woman decide to get into such a business? What is it like to make an X-rated movie or to dance nude on stage in a gentlemens club? Many women say it is empowering. What kind of lives did these women have before entering the world of X? Why do they say it increases their self-esteem? Is it REALLY healthy emotionally? Why have five of my colleagues committed suicide? Whats it like when your friends (and the Godmother of your children) are dropping like flies? Why would a sexually abused and abandoned child decide of her own free will to make X-rated movies and how could this possibly be a healing experience? Is it really?

Contents

I have done many exciting things in my life. Quite a few of them could be considered controversial by some peoples standards. Most people find it difficult to understand why someone might do something they themselves would never do. That is one of the reasons for this book. Another is to give the reader an insiders point of view of the workings of the adult film industry and the businesses that surround it, such as the adult magazine and nightclub businesses. There are many opinions on all sides of these topics and it is rare that a female performer is able to give her uncensored opinion about her experiences with them.

After well over a decade working in these fields I have seen some pretty amazing things, some frightening, some awe-inspiring, and some tragic. I hope to expose many misconceptions and explain why so many people do the strange sexual things they do. I believe no one should ever judge another, but perhaps by hearing these true stories of the intimate workings of peoples lives, you can start to understand what it means to be a product of these histories. Since all actions are merely reactions, I hope that as you read about my life, you will see why I acted as I did and why others who experience similar situations might behave in the ways they do. One never makes decisions without being influenced by things that have happened in the past, whether it is a conscious overview, or one that occurs spontaneously.

Cycles continue, and unless we are aware of the cycles that led to our current position, we are bound to unknowingly repeat them.

It is often hard, if not out right impossible, to understand other peoples actions when their life is so different from yours and their decisions so far from what you might choose for yourself. If you truly want to understand it, you must first commit to having an open mind and secondly, you must try to understand how we are all products of our past and just what that really means.

It is proven scientific facts that newborn babies who are given all the food, warmth and physical care they need die without love and affection. The medical term for such a death is Failure to Thrive. The human need, not desire, but absolute need for survival, to be held, talked lovingly to, smiled at and treasured, last long past infancy. Is it any wonder our elders who have been abandoned in nursing homes, not the ones who are remembered and visited, but the forgotten ones, die so soon?

This book is about humanity, what society has done to our humanness and the on-going ramifications of separating the mental, physical and emotional aspects of a human being. We are living in a pain and death denying society. No one wants to admit fear, pain and sorrow. We are told to get over it and to get on with our lives, as though sadness and grieving are not a part of life. A buried emotion eats away at the inside. It festers until one day it explodes. How many times have we heard Youre blowing this out of proportion? How many times has a small splinter turned into an ugly infection, stomach pain to an ulcer, discomfort to cancer? A broken bone never properly set and left alone to heal itself, is never the same, never completely healed back to its former self. It may be painful to prosecute child molesters in the immediate family, or to admit our mistakes or put a childs needs first before an adults desires, but the ramifications of denying such things are far reaching, Unto seven generations, my people say.

Life is not a fair game. The good and honest are stricken with tragedies, the innocent children are sometimes born into a world of famine or abuse, thieves and murderers sometimes go free. No matter what God you pray to or how hard you try to believe that you are special and protected, there is nothing to save you from some mad mans bullet. If your belief system were that tragedy is Gods way of testing you, why would a loving God test his innocent ones, especially children, to the point of death and broken spirit and body? The God I believe in does not wish pain and suffering on His/Her Children. How then, do you protect yourself from the shit that just happens? Not all of it is random, lets do what we can to stop the cycle of pain and destruction of lives, and when we cant stop it, let us doall we can to help those who have been touched by it, to heal, in any way they can.

I have changed the names of many people in this book to protect both them and myself.

The elders say that after death, a soul goes back to the Great Round. Years are spent reviewing ones lives and the lessons learned and all that is still to be learned on the road to enlightenment. The soul, knowing what is needed next on its path, chooses a womb to jump into. The elders say this happens in the fourth month of pregnancy.

At birth, the Angel of Forgetfulness touches us under the nose and above the upper lip and we forget all about our past lives and time spent in the Great Round.

This concept has at its heart, responsibility; responsibility for ones life and the opportunities for growth and wisdom along the way. Adversity is a character builder. Those who are never challenged do not know their strength. Those who live in perpetual comfort dont exercise their soul to its fullest potential. Therefore, the more progress a soul wishes to make, the more challenging the environment it chooses. (I mustve wanted to learn everything at once!) This gives power back to the person whose life is in question. The soul has chosen these opportunities for growth. It is of course, up to the individual whether a challenge will actually promote growth and enlightenment or crush ones spirit.

This concept does not negate a newborn childs innocence. All children are born pure, not carrying the mistakes of their past lives or their ancestors. The mistakes of the other dances (lives) have already been learned and atoned for in the Great Round. Anyone who has ever held a newborn and felt with their heart knows the Universal Truth that all babies are born innocent and pure.