Patricia Lorenz - The 5 Things We Need to Be Happy and Money Isnt One of Them

The 5 Things We Need to Be Happy

ISBN-13: 978-0-8249-4766-8

Published by Guideposts
16 East 34th Street
New York, New York 10016
www.guideposts.com

Copyright 2008 by Patricia Lorenz. All rights reserved.

This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the written permission of the publisher.

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Acknowledgments

Every attempt has been made to credit the sources of copyrighted material used in this book. If any such acknowledgment has been inadvertently omitted or misattributed, receipt of such information would be appreciated.

Scripture quotations on pages 146, 155 and 156 are taken from The King James Version of the Bible.

Scripture quotations on pages 15, 29, 92, 93, 175, 195, 196, 197, 198 and 217 are taken from The Living Bible. Copyrighted 1971 by Tyndale House Publishers, Wheaton, IL 60187. All rights reserved.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Lorenz, Patricia.
The five things we need to be happy and money isnt one of them/
Patricia Lorenz.
p. cm.
ISBN 978-0-8249-4766-8
1. Happiness. 2. Well-being. I. Title.
BF575.H27L67 2009
158dc22

2008041017

Cover by B. K. Taylor
Design by Marisa Jackson
Typeset by Nancy Tardi

Printed and bound in the United States of America

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Thank you

To my entire family scattered about in Illinois, California, Wisconsin, Ohio, Kentucky and Alaska: Dad, Bev, Jeanne, Canyon, Adeline, Julia, Hailey, Riley, Casey, Michael, Amy, Hannah, Zachary, Chloe, Andrew, Carrissa, Ethan, Joe, Linda, Aaron, Kirstie, Mark, Brody, Anna, Catherine, Bill and Sarah. You have all had a hand in showing me the five ingredients to happiness and supported me in my decision not to include money as a major factor in my life.

To my good friends in just as many states from all the stages of my life. You have all inspired me to keep writing and to treasure the five things we need to be happy.

To everyone at Guideposts, thank you for your hard work on this and every book you publish. Its gratifying to be part of the family of books that inspire so many.

To Andrew Attaway and Stephanie Castillo Samoy, my editors at Guideposts, for your time, talent and attention to detail that you put into this project.

To all the people I wrote about in this book. Thank you for sharing.

To Jack, who lives just fifty-seven steps from my home in Florida and who shares my life and my love and encourages me daily to enjoy all five of the things that make us happy.

P ATRICIA L ORENZ

I AM NOT AN EXPERT in anything. I dont have a masters degree or a PhD. I have a simple BA degree in English, not even a teaching certificate. Im not a licensed professional. I dont have a clinical background. I havent studied abroad.

But I have traveled, read and experienced life to the best of my ability. Ive raised four children, mostly as a single parent. Like many other ordinary people, I know a little bit about a lot of things, but not a whole lot about any one thing. Im your average woman who lives life simply, one week at a time, just like you do.

Im not gorgeous, nor do I spend hours every day trying to be. I wear very little makeup and keep my hair short because its easier that way. Ive been trying to lose the same twenty-five pounds my entire adult life. I lose ten, gain five, lose five, gain ten. But I do exercise every dayat least on the weekdays. Usually its an hour of water aerobics in the pool across the street or an eight-mile bike ride to my favorite park and back. But the thing is, I dont obsess about exercise or food. I do my best, but I dont waste time beating myself up if I have a hot fudge sundae every now and then.

I have relatives and friends who love me, a small, stress-free condo thats paid for, and the Florida sun, beaches and swimming pools to enchant me twelve months a year.

As a single woman who was head of her household for nineteen years in Wisconsin, I find I now like living alone. Ive become so accustomed to the quiet and solitude necessary to write that spending large blocks of time alone is one of my greatest joys. I think you have to be intrinsically happy to be able to enjoy solitude.

With all my heart, Im proclaiming here and now that Im one of the happiest people I know. These past sixty-plus years have given me some of the answers to the happiness questions. Ive figured out what it takes to be happy. I hope that if I share what Ive discovered, it will help you feel happier as well.

Believe me, it isnt money that makes us happy. I dont have a lot of money; never have. Ive made less than twenty thousand dollars a year for all but four years of my life, and even then I earned under $28,000. But so far Ive lived an interesting, fulfilling, happy, stress-free life with more adventures than most of my friends who have lots more money than I.

It helps that Im a frugal soul who still looks for restaurant coupons in the paper, buys many of her clothes at consignment shops and enjoys the thrill of a good bargain. Ill buy two boxes of the same kind of cereal if the sign says Buy One, Get One Free. But the main ingredients of happiness have nothing to do with being frugalor with money at all, for that matter.

I hope Im ator perhaps just pastthe halfway point in my life and can enjoy real happiness for many more years. Id love to live to be 110 as long as I can still feed myself, get around with a walker, see and hear well enough to communicate, and be of some value to those around me.

But who knows? My dad is still happy, active and thriving at age eighty-nine. So far Ive had sixty-three mostly happy years. The few years that werent so happy were at least interesting and productive. And those were the years that taught me how to love my struggles. I believe that having mostly happy years is enough experience to write a book.

My experiences have taught me that nothing makes us happy that is outside of ourselves. Nothing. Not money, good health, free time, other people, luxuries, being in control, or being successful in business or finance. Happiness comes from within. Its a state of mind, an attitude.

How do I know this? Because Ive met people who are very happy yet poor as a gerbil spinning a wheel in a tiny cage. Being successful can only make you happy as long as the happiness comes from doing something with the talents you were given at birth. If its money that drives you, chances are you are not truly, intrinsically happy.

So many times when people become wealthy, their lives become so stressful and busy that they barely have time to tie their shoes, let alone step back and actually enjoy their success. The pressure is so great that they cant leave work for one minute, even when theyre on the golf course or at home with their families. Their cell phones, computers, Powerbooks, Palm Pilots and other electronic gadgetry make sure that theyre never more than a click away from running things.

Another lesson Ive learned about happiness is that it doesnt matter whats ahead for us in this great scheme of things. What matters is whether or not were happy today, right now. Are you? I am. I really, truly am.