Veronica Ray - Choosing Happiness: The Art of Living Unconditionally
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Choosing Happiness: The Art of Living Unconditionally
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Sometimes no matter how hard we try, happiness always seems to be just beyond our reach. Veronica Ray helps us view life through the eyes of our loving spirits rather than our defensive egos and gives us a gentle way of defining and finding happiness in our lives.
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Choosing Happiness : The Art of Living Unconditionally
author
:
Ray, Veronica.
publisher
:
Hazelden Publishing
isbn10 | asin
:
0894866583
print isbn13
:
9780894866586
ebook isbn13
:
9780585324005
language
:
English
subject
Happiness, Conduct of life.
publication date
:
1991
lcc
:
BJ14810.R24 1991eb
ddc
:
158
subject
:
Happiness, Conduct of life.
Page i
Choosing Happiness
Page ii
About the author:
Veronica Ray is a free-lance writer living in Minneapolis. She is the author of Design for Growth: Twelve Steps for Adult Children and the Moment to Reflect series, which are pocket-sized pamphlets entitled: Setting Boundaries, Accepting Ourselves, Letting Go, Living Our Own Lives, Our Higher Power, Serenity, Giving, and Receiving. She also wrote Communicating with Love and Striking a Balance: How to Care without Caretaking, two of the pamphlets in the Renewal for Codependents series. All of these titles are published by Hazelden.
Page iii
Choosing Happiness
The Art of Living Unconditionally
Veronica Ray
Page iv
First published February 1991.
Copyright 1991, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission of the publisher.
ISBN: 0-89486-658-3
Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 90-84309
Printed in the United States of America.
Editor's note: The stories in this book are about real people. All names have been changed to protect their anonymity.
The following publishers have generously given permission to use extended quotations from copyrighted works: Excerpt(s) from Notes on How to Live in the World... and Still Be Happy, by Hugh Prather. Copyright 1986 by Hugh Prather. Used by permission of Doubleday, a division of Bantam Doubleday Dell Publishing Group, Inc. From The Power of Myth, by Joseph Campbell, with Bill Moyers. Copyright 1988 from Doubleday, a division of Bantam Doubleday Dell Publishing Group, Inc. Reprinted with permission. From The Varieties of Religious Experience, by William James. Copyright 1982 from Penguin. Reprinted with permission.
Page v
Contents
Acknowledgments
vii
Chapter One Conditional Lives
1
Chapter Two Happiness
7
Chapter Three Our Identity
21
Chapter Four Relationships
41
Chapter Five Other People's Problems
65
Chapter Six Other People's Successes
85
Chapter Seven Work
105
Chapter Eight Money
127
Chapter Nine Health and Aging
149
Chapter Ten Sudden Loss and Change
175
Chapter Eleven Atmospheres
193
Chapter Twelve Positive Choices
215
Epilogue Equanimity
235
Bibliography and Suggested Reading
237
Page vii
Acknowledgments
I am very grateful for having had the experience of writing this book. I thank my editors, Rebecca Post and Judy Delaney, for all their help, encouragement, and work. I thank everyone who shared their stories and thoughts with me so I could share them with you. I thank my husband and daughter for their unconditional love, and God for everything.
Page 1
Chapter One Conditional Lives
What are the "ifs" and "buts" that limit my enjoyment of life? John Powell
How often do we think, I'd be happy if... or I'll be happy when... ? How often have we felt calm, content, and self-satisfied, only to plunge into fear, anger, or despair when something happened, or didn't happen, in our lives? Or even when we just heard about something happening to someone else? How many conditions in our outer lives do we believe are necessary for happiness within?
Sometimes we convince ourselves that we'll be happy when we lose some weight, get a job or promotion, find a loving relationship, get married, have a baby, or achieve some other outer goal. But when the goal is accomplished, there are always others to take its place. Happiness always seems to be just beyond our reach.
We've all seen bumper stickers and posters declaring Murphy's Law: "Anything that can go wrong, will." And yet, when something does go wrong, we're often surprised. We feel confused, caught off guard, thrown off balance, and even angry. Our serenity and happiness may fly right out the window. Whatever we felt we needed to be all right is gone, and now where are we?
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