Cohen - Naked Roommate: And 107 Other Issues You Might Run Into in College

Copyright 2005, 2007, 2009, 2011, 2013, 2015 by Harlan Cohen

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eBook 1.0

Other Books By Harlan Cohen:

The Naked Roommate: For Parents Only

The Naked Roommates First Year Survival Workbook

Getting Naked: Five Steps to Finding the Love of Your Life (While Fully Clothed and Totally Sober)

Dads Expecting Too!

Follow Harlan on Twitter: @HarlanCohen

Follow Harlan on Facebook: /HelpMeHarlan

Follow Harlan on Instagram: HarlanCohen

For Stephanie,

my higher education in love and in life

Acknowledgments

To my wife, Stephanie (my lifelong naked roommate), thank you again for all of your love and support throughout this entire processpieces, pieces. To Eva Kaye, Harrison, and Asher, the best roommates in the world! To my parents, Eugene and Shirleethank you for opening the door to college life and always offering all the opportunities and love a child could ever want or need. Thank you to my brothers, Victor and Michael, and my sister-in-law, Irene, for loving me, guiding me, and always being there for me (and to Phoebe and Rae, too). Thank you to Marvin, Francine, Daniel, Rozi, Ethan, and Hannah for all of your love and support.

Thank you to my agent, Eliot Ephraim, for your endless commitment and continued support on this amazing journey. Thank you to my original Naked editor, Peter Lynch, and the entire team at Sourcebooks for pouring so much passion, wit, and wisdom into this project. Thank you to my newest brilliant Naked editor, Michelle Lecuyer. A special thank-you to Pete Vanaria, Becca Sage, and Chris Norton. Thank you to Glenn Mott and the entire team at King Features Syndicate for helping to make Help Me, Harlan! one of the most well-read advice columns in the country. A special thank-you to all the newspaper editors that run Help Me, Harlan! and to all those people who read it and write to me with questions, comments, and suggestions (even the ones who write about my ears).

A heartfelt thank-you goes out to all the students, professionals, and contributors who offered information for this book! Thank you for being so open, honest, and candid about your lives. Your stories will impact millions of students. I couldnt write without you. Thank you to all the high schools, colleges, organizations, and associations that have hosted my speaking events over the years and enabled me to conduct such detailed research.

A special note of gratitude is extended to Cynthia Jenkins, the BACCHUS Network, Linda Sax, John Pryor, and the Higher Education Research Institute at UCLA, the Indiana Daily Student, Michael Evans and the Indiana University School of Journalism, NSSE, the Associated Collegiate Press, the National Orientation Directors Association, the NACA, NASPA, ACPA, ACUHO-I, AFA, ACHA-NCHA Alpha Epsilon Pi fraternity, Krishnan Anantharaman, Larry Rout, the Wall Street JournalClassroom Edition, and all the people who have been in my corner during this journey over the years. I cant thank you enough for all of your kindness and support.

A special word of thanks is extended to Dr. David Adams and his familyDave, your memory and legacy are ever-present in the lives of students youve mentored and in the lives of all those we touch. Thank you for everything.

Contents

Chapter 1
Arriving on Campus: So Real You Can Smell It, Touch It, and Taste It

Chapter 2
Residence Halls: Living, Eating, and Bathing with Hundreds of Strangers

Chapter 3
Roommates: Good Ones, Bad Ones, and Everything in Between

Chapter 4
Finding Friends: Your Social or Antisocial College Life

Chapter 5
Getting Involved on Campus: An All-You-Can-Do Buffet

Chapter 6
Greek Life: Behind the Doors, Windows, and Walls of Fraternity and Sorority Life

Chapter 7
Life Inside the Classroom: Assuming You Wake Up and Go to Class

Chapter 8
Dating and Relationships: Your Higher Education in Lust, Love, and Loss

Chapter 9
Sex: Having It, Not Having It, Hearing Other People Having It

Chapter 10
Drinking on Campus: Tapping the Keg of Truth

Chapter 11
Drugs on Campus: The Smoking, Snorting, and Pill-Popping Truth

Chapter 12
Money, Laundry, and Cheap Eats: Assuming You Have Enough Money to Eat and Do Laundry

Chapter 13
Things Not Mentioned in the College Brochure: What They Dont Tell You

Chapter 14
College: A Higher Education: Its Almost Time to Say Good-bye

Welcome Students

Welcome to the sixth edition of The Naked Roommate. Yes, this is the sixth edition (not a typo, the typos come later in the book). This is the very best edition ever as opposed to the worst edition ever. Welcome to page one. Im Harlan. Ill be your Naked author and host throughout this book. Ive included a picture of myself on the back of the book (fully clothed) so you can see what I look like. And yes, Ive actually been wearing that same outfit while writing this entire book (but I have gained about five pounds). As your host and author, Id like to offer you something to eat or drink (nonalcoholic), but I dont know where to find you or if you can eat or drink where you are. If youre reading this at a place where theyre serving food or drinks, please get yourself something. I cant pay for it, but if I were there, I would. I just want to make sure that youre comfortable. So please, slip off your shoes, unbutton the top button on your pants if theyre snug, find a comfortable place to sit if youre standing. Do whatever it takes for you to get comfortable, as long as what you need to do to get comfortable isnt prohibited by any indecency laws. If getting comfortable means breaking the law, take this book home with you. Im not trying to get you to buy it (well, maybe I am a little), but what is more important than your owning this book is that you are as comfortable as possible while reading it. Because when it comes down to it, thats what this whole book is all aboutand its really what the college experience is about. Its about helping you to get comfortable for what can be an uncomfortable (at times) journey ahead. Now, Ill give you a break to get comfortable. And please, feel free to browse through the book after you settle in.