Henry Jil - The Greatest College Health Guide You Never Knew You Needed

Copyright 2021 by Jill and Dave Henry

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available on file.

Cover design by Daniel Brount

Print ISBN: 978-1-5107-5909-1

Ebook ISBN: 978-1-5107-5910-7

Printed in China

To the team.

CONTENTS

CHAPTER 1
ORIENTATION

CHAPTER 2
FOOD

CHAPTER 3
BOOZE

CHAPTER 4
EXERCISE

CHAPTER 5
STRESS

CHAPTER 6
SLEEP

CHAPTER 7
TRIAL AND ERROR

CHAPTER 8
GRADUATION

CHAPTER 1

ORIENTATION

PART 1: DAVE

One month after winter break, I found the first evidence of change in a picture my friend pulled up from the night before. I cant recall the exact theme of the party, but I was wearing a red bandana, covered in face paint, and shirtlessly drinking out of a giant glass boot. I looked... different. Swollen. My entire torso was enormous. It appeared as though Id swallowed a barrel, but not in a barrel-chested or that guys built like a brick shithouse kind of way. It looked like Id swallowed an inflatable barrel that people would use as a pool toy. And I was so pale! Really pale. If not for my beet-red face, I had the milky complexion of a cadaver or an albino lab rat kept in a basement. After growing up in California, one semester in Iowa had turned my body into a ghostly couch cushion. I stared at that picture in astonishment, thinking, Why didnt anybody tell me that I look like this?

I had no idea how to take care of myself when I got to college. Most people dont. Thats probably because once youre away from your parents and on your own for the first time, the notion that youd be prepared to set some ground rules for yourself is absolutely ridiculous. In high school, its easy to eat the food thats in your fridge or the meal thats made for you. Its easy to turn down booze when you know youll get grounded if youre caught, or to get enough sleep when theres a knock on your door if the lights arent out by midnight. All that changes when youre dropped off on campus and left to fend for yourself. Its the beginning of independence, and it is incredible, but it also increases the chances that youre going to accidentally adopt some habits that are really bad for your health. Thats certainly what happened to me.

I religiously stayed up late, drank four nights a week, and regularly ate a large pizza around midnight. The dining hall entres typically tasted like garbage and looked as if the entire plate had once been a canned good, so I survived on burgers. Often two or three of them, accompanied by an additional plate full of fries. After my meat feast, Id hit the soft-serve machine, getting seconds before leaving simply because it was there. Its no wonder why six months straight of gluttonous chaos made me look like Moby Dick just in time for spring break.

From a health standpoint, the college environment is comically designed for you to fail. Want to have a few beers on a Tuesday? No problem! Youll definitely find someone on your floor to join. Want to bail on exercise and take an afternoon nap? Great idea, I love naps. If you want to play video games until four in the morning, thats okay too. Your RA isnt going to tell you to go to bed. And if youre too tired to go to class in the morning, you can skip it. Seriously. Theres little chance your professor is going to check in. While some people seem to be able to balance the stress of schoolwork, social life, and cruise-ship-buffet-style eating while living on vampire hours, I found the vast majority of my peers in the deep end with me, struggling to swim. Whats strange is that I hadnt noticed the patterns I was picking up or the toll they were taking on my physical and mental health. Id been led to believe that was just how everybody lived, because, frankly, it sort of is.

The Freshman 15 is widely talked about, and chances are good that you know at least one person who came home for Thanksgiving break looking a little different than when they left in September. Nearly 25 percent of college freshmen gain ten pounds in their first semester alone.

Id never thought about any of this until I headed back to high school, but not in a Billy Madison kind of way. I started coaching football part-time to bring more balance and meaning to my work life and was instantly rewarded with all the good feelings that come from helping people work hard and reach their goals. As the graduating classes moved on to colleges across the country, Id inevitably hear stories that sounded similar to my own when I checked in with former players. They were eating like shit, pulling all-nighters, and had completely given up on exercise. My typical response was to listen, reply with my own horror story, and end with the sentiment, Well, you know what they say: everyone shits their pants in college. Connecting with alums over the challenges of campus life was an unexpectedly entertaining part of the job, but I never really knew how to help them better navigate the pitfalls they were facing. The answers wouldnt become apparent until years after I met my wife.

Jill is the girls cross-country coach and a math teacher at that same high school. Our first few encounters felt like an awkward teenager rom-com but applied to adults in PE clothes. Eventually, the head football coach at the time, a fully tattooed former MMA fighter, came up to me at practice and let me know that I had a secret admirer. His face was a mix of confusion and delight when he shared that she had referred to me as a stone-cold fox after confirming with him that I was single.

Ive never met anyone like Jill. Shes incredibly disciplined and responsible but has a surprisingly foul mouth and an endearingly immature sense of humor. She will find a way to turn anything into a game, but mostly because she enjoys shit-talking anyone who can handle it. She grew up in New England, and after meeting her family, I came to understand that thats kind of a thing there. My brother aptly described her once as a cartoon character due to her endless supply of energy and use of sound effects, which she applies to everyday actions like tying her shoes or unloading groceries.

Weve been teammates since the beginning of our relationship. Health was a priority for both of us before we met because wed learned the hard way that its impossible to feel good without taking care of yourself. We each struggled with health for the first time while in college, and there we were, years later, still trying to master good habits. It felt natural to continue those efforts together. For years, we read books and articles and played around with different routines and structures, noting what seemed to make a difference and what was just a headache. We often talked about this trial and error with our athletes. While the failures made for better stories, the successes, along with research, helped broaden our understanding of what was needed to kick ass in every area. We never thought wed really do anything with what wed learned until one of Jills senior runners asked her after the last race of the season, Coach, how do I