Costanzo - 420 Diner: Unicorn Poop & Other Magic Sh*t

420 DINER Unicorn Poop & Other Magic Sh*t By LisaMarie Costanzo
BACK STORY On my thirty-ninth birthday I was given a diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis. This was not only a wake-up call that life is short, but it caused me to re-evaluate and prioritize everything. I made a realization that those who do not lift us up tear us down, and I needed to purge the weight of negativity. No more heavy sighs. Needing a temperate climate, I did some research to decide where I wanted to spend the rest of my days. I was strongly drawn to Oregon where I am now blessed with the magical trio: ocean, mountains, and medical marijuana.

Having lost my mother to lung cancer, the idea of ingesting pot rather than smoking it made more sense. Couple that with the fact that ingested marijuana goes into your bloodstream rather than your nervous system, causing a slower but longer-lasting high, and I was ready to taste-test some magical goodies. However, the med-ibles that were readily available were not always very tasty and certainly not something I would serve to company (wink). I needed to roll up my sleeves and get out my own trusty cooking utensils and pans. I have always loved to cook and ran a catering business back in the day. This gave me a fabulous opportunity to hone my skills.

I wanted to make magical goodies that would be desirable to not just me but also to the frou-frou masses, something beyond the typical brownies or Scooby Snacks. Magic Manicotti, anyone? Maybe some Puff Puff Pass Petit Fours? Oh, yeah! A tiny bit of science: for cooking purposes, THC is both fat-soluble and unable to be released without binding to either fatty acids or alcohol. That said, each of the following recipes will use some form of ingestible marijuana whether its in butter, oil, or alcohol. Dont worry; Ill walk you through it. Of course, you could always cheat and get it ready made at the dispensary How awesome is it thatas of this writingfour states have legalized recreational marijuana, and the use of medical marijuana is legal is twenty-three states? Its an exciting time, gang! Despite everything else, I feel like I have won the karmic lottery. I am able to do things that make me happy every single day.

I can hear the sea lions barking from the Columbia River which is just beyond my backyard. I can see the mountains across the street, and I can be at the ocean shore in fifteen minutes. If I wake up in the morning and my fingers wiggle, it is going to be a great day. I am lucky enough to be supported and loved by two amazing children who make me so very proud, along with their significant others who have taught me that your best friend makes the best mate. With that knowledge I can honestly say that I have the worlds greatest husband. Seriously.

This magical cookbookalong with all the others already in the series and those to come in the futureis for them. I love you, Gabi, Brody, and Tim. Thank you. And, once again, thank you, too, Martha. We have come so far. A LA CARTE Preparing Tinctures & Sugar 7-13 Authentic Unicorn Poop 14-17 Other Magic Sh*t 18-109 Index 110-113 PREPARING TINCTURES & SUGAR Cooking with cannabis is a lot more than just grinding up some buds and sprinkling it into your brownie mix.

There are certain rules that one must followor take the risk of not only ruining a recipe but totally wasting your pot. Basically, we need to understand that THC, the main active ingredient in marijuana, needs to be extracted with heat into some kind of fatty acid, like butter or oil, before it should be added to any food. Your local dispensaries will have cannabis butter and hash oil on hand, so consider going that easy route for most recipes. If you want a certain strain or need a particular medicinal effect, here are a few simple things to keep in mind when making your own: Whether using the biggest buds or leftover leaves and stems, you must grind that stuff up. Use a coffee grinder or a food processor to get the material as close to a powder consistency as possible. Nowadays, there are so many wonderful options (I love my NutriBullet) for finely grinding your goodies.

Let it run until the product is like a flour, and then you will want to strain it through a sieve to get any last little fuzzy pieces out of there. Store your magic flour in a salt shaker and have it at the ready. This particular cookbook uses tincture quite a bit. A tincture is a usually an alcohol extract, but it can also be done using vinegar or glycerin. The main points to know about tinctures are that you want decarboxylated marijuana, meaning that you will want to heat that weed low and slow before putting it into any solvent. Once your product has been baked efficiently, fill a jar about full, then add your alcohol of choice (the higher the proof, the better) to the top, put it into a dark place for two to six weeks and walk away.

Curiosity is going to make you want to peek at it anyways, sowhen you dogive it a little shake. Literally, flip that jar around a couple times to re-mix anything that might have settled to the bottom. This will also aid in maximum extraction. You can seriously do this a couple times a day if you want. You will know your tincture is ready when it turns a deep red color and the alcohol rises to the top. At that point you can put it into a bottle with a dropper.

This way a drop or two under the tongue will give you the necessary pain relief. Sublingual absorption gets it right into the bloodstream, allowing you to titrate the dose as you need it with more or less drops. You can add your tincture to liquids like iced tea or lemonade. Cutting it with water will help to keep it from burning when placed under the tongue. Cold beverages work best as they can be ingested immediately rather than waiting for it to cool, thus breaking down the tincture. Tinctures are also ideal for prepping recipes or ingredients that are not going to be cooked.

In fact, a medicated sugar made with tincture is something you can carry with you to add to iced tea when youre out and about, having lunch with friends, and needing a little relief. Mix one cup of sugar with one tablespoon of tincture until thoroughly incorporated. This mixture will be clumpy and grainy, but thats okay. Spread it out on a baking sheet so that you can bake the alcohol out of the sugar. Low and slow being our rule of thumb, thirty minutes on 200 degrees is perfect. To get the sugar back to a sugar-y consistency, push it through a sieve after it has cooled completely.

It is also an option to press it into silicone molds to make adorable sugar cubes. You never know when you might be having that tea party, and you will want to put out pretty goodies. Medicated sugar should be stored in an airtight container. You can add this to any foods where you might add regular sugar: oatmeal, grapefruit, even sugar cookies. Tinting the sugar in that first step makes for some pretty decorating sugar. Disclaimer: These recipes contain marijuana.

As the weed strength will vary, the quantities and measurements may need adjusted. Use your best judgment based on the strain you are using. AUTHENTIC UNICORN POOP The idea of Unicorn Poop cookies is not original to me. Pinterest is full of options; however, this particular recipe is the only one that claims to be authentic. This is what makes it so: Unicorns are magical creatures, hence, it only makes sense that their excrement would be magical as well. This recipe guarantees that it is.

Unicorns poop rainbows. Duh. Well, this recipe is for multi-colored dough. Voila. Rainbow excrement. The added fruity flavor, colored sugars, and assorted sprinkles only add to that magical quality.

Finally, unicorns surely have star-shaped assholes. That said, be sure to use a cookie press so that your unicorn shit also has that obligatory star shape. Keep these in an airtight container for a special pick-me-up whenever a dose of magic is needed in your life. AUTHENTIC UNICORN POOP COOKIES 1 c magic butter, softened c sugar 1 egg, slightly beaten 2 c flour t baking powder Assorted small boxes of flavored gelatin (the flavors do not matter as much as the colors; ROYGBIV = red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple essentially) Assorted sugar sprinkles, nonpareils, and dragees Preheat oven to 375. Cream butter, add in sugar and egg. Add flour and baking powder, mixing well.