Davidovit - The Words That Shaped Me: A journalists brilliant, touching and hilarious journey through the dictionary and life.

A journalists brilliant, touching and hilarious journey through the dictionary and life

Bronx, NY
U.S.A.

This book is dedicated to my beautiful mother Renee who brightens up every room that she enters, and then cleans it.

It is also dedicated to my father David, of blessed memory, who was a king among men and a mensch of the highest order.

I extend my deepest thanks to my best friend Phil Sieradski, the only person in my whole life who has ever told me you can do it no matter what the it was. As I wrote this book about the words that shaped me, I know that his words of encouragement and support have emboldened me to face many blank pages and fill them with the full force of my talent. He is also the only editor that hasnt given me acid reflux with the overuse of his red pen but rather lets me soar, do my thing, and just makes sure I dont get too close to the sun.

THE WORDS THAT SHAPED ME
A journalists brilliant, touching and hilarious journey through the dictionary and life

ISBN-13: 978-0-615-42560-3

Copyright 2010 by Aliza Davidovit

PUBLISHED BY: WritEffect Productions

Cover concept created by Aliza Davidovit
Graphic artist: N.Y. Productions
Caricature artist: Doina Paraschiv

All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owners and the above publisher of this book.

Its funny how we tell kids not to lie while we lie to them all the time:

Yes, your summersault was amazing.

That macaroni picture is lovely.

Youre a beautiful princess.

Lie, lie, lie.

One of the earliest and most damaging lies I was told was, Sticks and stones can break your bones, but words can never harm you. Im not sure how old I was when I knew this to be the biggest load of bunk ever heaped on youngstersas well as that there is a Santa Claus, a Tooth Fairy and everyone lived happily ever after.

These white lies serve as short-lived pacifiers, but they set us up for lifelong disappointments. To this very day I look up my chimney every Christmas waiting for Santa Claus to bring me something. But he never comes. So what if Im all grown up and Jewish, I could still use a diamond bracelet. Yet every time I hang a black fishnet stocking on my door, it lures not Saint Nicholas but a slew of shmendricks who know better than Santa if Ive been naughty or nice.

How many more little girls like me are out there still waiting for their Santa Claus, their Prince Charming, their quick fix, their happy-ever-after ending based on words that misled them?

I am mad at all those words which had us believe that life was a guaranteed equation: If you are nice and well behaved on one end, then reward is waiting at the other; if you are a bastard, then youll die from the Black Plague within a week; if something bad happens to you, sleep on it, and youll find a prize under your pillow in the morning.

But then we grow up with a distorted view of reality and are overwhelmed by confusion because the sons of bitches seem to be reaping the rewards and the good guys are left with a box of unused condoms while their wives take off with the house, the best friend and the dog. And then we dare to complain how tough things are and they shoot back at you, No one said that life is fair. What the heck! That is all they ever told us...and they lied.

Then theres that lie that words cant hurt. If they cant hurt but only sticks and stones can, why dont I remember the thousand times I tripped in the school yard, slipped on the icy, snowy Montreal sidewalks of my youth or had a snowball whacked against my head. The bumps and bruises are all now buried in the cemetery of youths playgroundforgotten. Oh, but not the words.

Dummy, dummy. Thats what they called me in grade school. I came home crying my eyes out. All the kids laughed at me for getting a math problem wrong on the blackboard. The words echoed in that presumed empty head of mine. My fear of numbers grew with such fervor and velocity thanks to the support of my cheerleading peers that I still count on my fingers when no one is looking. But at least, unlike my little bratty classmates, my fingers were never lodged in the deep recesses of my nose, for even then I knew that the answers to my math problems could not be found there.

When I came home crying as if death was imminent, my parents consoled me with their heavy European accents, Sticks and stones can break your bones but vords can never harm you. Maybe vords cant, but words doand they did. For me those words were the slings and arrows and definers. I didnt cry much as a child from the slips and falls and bumps as much as I did from the words that so often pierced my soft heart and sensitive soul, the words that wounded me, restrained me, emboldened me, embarrassed methe words that shaped my life.

And that is what this book is all about, WORDS and where they can take you. Its about my love of them, and how powerful and purposeful, hurtful and helpful, entertaining and detracting they can be.

I understood early on that words may be the most powerful tools in the world. They are like time-release capsules which either sustain us or poison us as we go. As such, we must remain forever cognizant of the words that shape us and learn to be their masters instead of their slaves.

Should I have let that painful word dummy chain me to a limited destiny or yank me along like a dogs leash? Should I have let those white lies make me bitter because life has not served up a fairytale ending for me with a knight in shining armor? Of course not! But, unfortunately, it is usually not logic that determines what we become, it is wordsboth the positive ones and the negative ones. Yet, so often we dont realize how the script is being written for us instead of by us. How often have people discouraged you in your life by either calling you stupid, dumb, incapable, or, on the contrary, encouraged you with positive appellations?

For the majority of my own life I have unfortunately let the wrong words inform me and rule me. I didnt understand until late that we each possess the power to label ourselves and what we call ourselves is more important than what the jackasses have to say. Remember the quote by Sam Rayburn: Any jackass can kick down a barn, but it takes a good carpenter to build one.

Hurtful words did kick down my barn and set all the wild pigs, chickens and demons free. It makes so much sense to me now why I became a writer despite the many paths I could have chosenfrom brain surgeon to stripper. I have immersed myself into a world of words in which I can co-create my own reality, rebuild the barn and lock up all those who bequeathed me a vocabulary which sought to stifle my rise.

Perhaps Oprahs life story best exemplifies our inner and own power over words. Everyone told her she wouldnt make it. Yet she never let the words shackle hera daughter descendant of slaves who chose to free herself. Not words, nor hardships, would she permit to be her taskmasters. I write this book now because the time for freedom has arrived for me as well.