sasha cottman [cottman - Two of a Kind

Copyright 2019 by Sasha Cottman

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To Dean and Laura

L ondon 1817

A crowded, dirty riverside tavern

Im getting married.

James Radley choked and spluttered on the large gulp of ale he had just taken into his mouth. Beer dripped down the front of his shirt and jacket.

What the devil?!

He wiped his lips with the back of his hand before looking dejectedly at the mess that was now his clothes.

Guy Dannon, his old school friend from Eton, met Jamess gaze. A wry grin sat on his face. It was obvious Guy knew exactly the sort of reaction his sudden announcement would provoke, and he was enjoying every moment of it. A friend he might be, but even James knew that Guy took particular delight in being a manipulative bastard when it suited him.

Thought it was time for me to make a run for parliament. Everyone knows that a chap needs a wife in order to secure preselection for a safe seat. A couple of weeks ago, I went and spoke to someone with strong political connections, who not only agreed to help me get preselected, but who conveniently has a highly eligible daughter, replied Guy.

James carefully set his tankard of beer down on the table, not wishing to risk choking on another mouthful. It was bad enough that he now stank of beer.

He would put money on having never heard the words Guy and wife used in the same sentence before today.

Things are already that far in motion? replied James.

Of course. Why do you think I went and bought a house and some land? It wasnt from a sudden need to display my grand wealth.

I was wondering why you had done that. It makes sense that you would want one so as to entice a wife, said James.

Guy gave him a look of disgust. I settled on a property because I cannot run for parliament if I am not a landowner. I have never had to do any sort of enticing when it comes to women, and I dont intend to start now. Especially not for a wife, said Guy.

James considered his ale.

I wonder if someone has slipped something into my drink.

Guy had always declared that marriage was for other men; it would never be for him.

While I understand your political ambitions, Guy, even you would have to admit to being nothing more than an unashamed rake. You only see women as a means to sate your lust. You use them, then toss them aside, said James.

And what has that to do with me getting married? replied Guy. He seemed to find Jamess less-than-enthusiastic reaction to the news of his impending nuptials a little perplexing.

How do you intend to be any sort of a decent husband and father when you think so little of the fairer sex? said James.

Guy sat back in his seat and studied James. Slowly he shook his head, picked up his tankard and held it high toward James. I know your family holds with foolish notions about love and fidelity, but I am a practical man. I have chosen a young lady from a politically connected family as my future spouse. She understands how these things work. Securing a seat for myself in parliament is whats important. Now drink up. We should be celebrating, Guy finally replied.

James didnt touch his drink. He knew enough about women to know that most held firm opinions on the subject of marriage. Given half a chance, a woman would not marry purely for the sake of political connections. It was love or nothing for many of them, and especially for the women in his extended family.

Instead of feeling elated over Guys sudden announcement, he was filled with sadness over the news that some poor girl was about to be condemned to a cold, political union.

So, who is this poor chit who is going to be saddled with you for the rest of her days? he asked. If it was someone else the words might have been spoken in half jest, but when it came to Guy, James was deadly serious. His friend would make a terrible husband.

Her name is Leah Shepherd and from what she has said, I think your sister Claire knows her.

James frowned. He had a vague recollection of perhaps having been introduced to her at some point but couldnt recall what Leah Shepherd actually looked like. He did, however, know of her father. Tobias Shepherd was a kingmaker in the lofty circles of English politics. I cant place her, but there are always lots of young women coming and going from home. When do you intend to introduce her to your friends?

Tomorrow. You are going to meet Leah at a garden party in Richmond, replied Guy.

James leaned across the table and stared hard at his friend, unsure as to whether he had heard Guy correctly. Had he just said that they were going to a garden party? I am not going to a bloody garden party. Those things are dangerous. Every unwed young miss in London will be in attendance, and they will all be on the hunt for one thing: a husband. Cupid will have his little sharp arrows trained on every bachelors arse. Hell will freeze over before I set foot inside a garden party. James snorted.

The whole notion was preposterous. Garden parties were full of lovestruck couples making doe eyes at one another. He shuddered at the thought. Guy may well have his plans, but for James, marriage was not anywhere on the horizon.

Guy slowly smiled. Ill tell you what, James. Let me buy us a large bottle of whisky and then we can discuss what you will or wont be doing tomorrow afternoon.

Sounds like a plan, replied James.

Guy could buy all the whisky he wished; James Radley was not going to a garden party. Absolutely not.

R ichmond, London

Hell has frozen over

As the carriage bounced along the road to the garden party, James roused from his monstrous hangover and shot Guy the filthiest look he could muster. You are a dirty, rotten blackguard, Dannon. That was a low thing you did last night, he muttered, his voice rough.

Stop whining, Radley. I didnt hear you complaining when I pressed any one of those ten glasses of whisky into your hand, snorted Guy.

Ten? I thought it was only seven, replied James.

Guy chuckled. Ten. It took that many before you finally agreed to come.

As I recall, I was on my knees beside the River Thames at the time, and you refused to help me to my feet until I caved to your demands. Even then I didnt think you were serious about me going, said James.

Guy raised an eyebrow. That would explain why you were not ready when I arrived to collect you this morning. Trust me, James, I have never been more serious about anything in my life, replied Guy.

But if you have already chosen this girl, why are we here? asked James.

To help seal the deal. I might not believe in love or any of that sentimental claptrap, but the ton likes to think it does. If a chap wishes to get hitched, he has to go through the motions of courting a young lady. Society expects me to pay Leah special attention and lavish pretty compliments on her before I make an official offer of marriage, replied Guy.

James silently chided himself. As his friend, Guy would expect him to be supportive of his efforts to secure a suitable marriage. Yet his conscience pricked at him. The way Guy was going about getting himself a wife was all too cold and dispassionate for his taste.