Lan Lan - Shanghai Girls: Uncensored & Unsentimental

By Lan Lan

As told to Mina Hanbury-Tenison

Make-Do Publishing,
23 Yu Yan Tsuen,
Lamma, Hong Kong.

All rights reserved.

Shanghai Girls: Uncensored and Unsentimental, Mina Hanbury-Tenison, 2010.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the author.

ISBN 976-988-18419-4-0

Cover design by Bing Design
www.bingdesign.com.cn

Some of the secrets unveiled in this unabashed, tell-all guide:

How to Be Unsentimental
How to Find Wealthy Men
Starter-Boyfriends and What They Offer
Sex and How to Use It: Remember, Men Are Stupid
Maintaining Some Semblance of a Career
Youth + Beauty = Money: Lets Not Pretend
What About Love? The Pragmatics of Your Heart
When to Jump Ship: Leveraging Up

I first met Lan Lan more than a decade ago. It was 1997 and I had just arrived from the U.S. I didnt speak a word of Chinese. And I didnt know then that my move to Shanghai would herald the biggest adventure of my life.

When I stepped off the plane, my expectations for Shanghai came from Hollywood lore: the glamorous Marlene Dietrich riding the train in Shanghai Express, Kate Capshaw as a singsong girl in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom; and the citys coquettish reputation as the Paris of the East.

As I slowly explored the city on foot, its grandeur astonished me. Along graceful tree-lined roads, striking art deco architecture mixed with elegant colonial mansions and behind them the charm and intimacy of the crowded two-story shikumen houses. Across the Huangpu River, I was amused to see that the Oriental Pearl TV Towers glittering fuschia-pink element looked exactly like a bright disco ball.

Shanghai was a city of women. The ladies populating it were lively and bold. Regardless of their limited means, they were always impeccably turned out. The sidewalks were full of slender women, walking hand in hand with girlfriends or mothers, as they shopped along Nanjing or Huaihai Roads. All of them demanded to be noticed.

And then I met Lan Lan. Wearing her trademark chipao and long, black hair down to her waist, she was dazzling. She always carried a large designer purse with a secure zipper to carry the stacks of RMB she inevitably needed. Overnight, my life and my understanding of Shanghai suddenly opened up. Lan Lan was Shanghai. As she took me into her fold, she imparted one piece of information after another, tipping me off about secrets only the ladies of Shanghai know. It started with a simple advice here and there where to shop for silk, how to get the best price from merchants, when to sample hairy crab. But as the years progressed, the advice became more detailed such that Id call her whenever I needed advice on anything including negotiating a difficult business deal.

Lan Lan was beautiful, elegant, smart, and scarcely a few years older than me. As far as I could see, she had everything a handsome and rich husband, a perfectly appointed apartment, and a mini business empire with over 30 people at her beck and call.

Over lingering lunches, Lan Lan would sometimes tell me stories about her many girlfriends. And she told me about one male friend of hers who had already bought an apartment for each of his three Shanghai girlfriends and was yet willing to buy another. He told her, Im crazy about the Shanghai girls and I cant live without them. I also observed the effect Shanghai women had on foreign men. Sure enough, one by one, they would be smitten, sometimes even marrying one quicker than any of my girlfriends would have dreamed possible in the U.S. What made the Shanghai ladies so irresistible?

I would plumb Lan Lan for details, but she was never that forthcoming. She gave me hints here and there, and once in a while, shocked me with an anecdote. Lan Lan was a lady, and a lady first. And regardless of any domestic or business ups and downs she might be experiencing, I knew that whenever I met her, the best tables would be waiting for us, staff would always know her name, and Lan Lan would always turn heads.

A lot of what has gone into this book I learnt while overhearing Lan Lans conversations with girlfriends. She was never without a mobile phone, and in between elegant luncheon courses, Lan Lan would bark out orders in Mandarin, sweet talk her tailor in Shanghainese or charm a potential investor in her near-perfect English.

Ultimately, the one thing that Lan Lan taught me is that to be a feminist means nothing without the feminine at the core. What makes us different from the male of the species is what makes us powerful.

I wondered for a long time how I could turn my conversations with Lan Lan into a book, and finally it came to me that I should write a how-to book. This way, I could share her wisdom, her Shanghai with other women who might find her ideas as eye-opening as I did.

Mina Hanbury-Tenison

Shanghai, 2010

Keep your eye on the goal: Research, research, research

Some fool-proof strategies

Types of wealthy men and how to make them work for you

Looking and dressing the part

What if youre not a knockout?

Top tips for making the most of what youve got

On charm

This book is not for the faint-hearted, or those who believe in knights-in-shining-armor, or those who wait by the phone for that call from Mr. Perfect.

This book is for girls who want to take charge of their future girls who believe in hard work (of the right kind) and know they deserve the good life.

So stop reading if youre looking for tips on how to find the perfect husband or how to improve your love life. This guide is for ambitious women who are ready to take on the tricky, yet not insurmountable, task of marrying up.

Learn from Shanghai Girls who have succeeded: dive into their secrets, emulate their successes, and channel your energies into making your life a triumph!

What is love? What is marriage? And what is waiting for Prince Charming?

Love and Princes

From nearly birth, girls are deluged with images of the perfect love that lasts forever. Its Snow White and her Prince Charming. Its the Princess who kisses the frog. But just how many princes are out there? Not many. Its a sheer numbers game. Of the men who are actual royalty, how many of them would you even want to touch with a 10-foot pole? Or what about the realities the fairy tales fail to mention their meddling mothers, aloof fathers, or the fact that they might be ugly, stupid or both. Nor do they warn of the potential for encountering inflated egos or shriveling self-respect. Just because a prince shows up in a flashy uniform and a crown doesnt mean hes a hero.