Henry Shukman - One Blade of Grass: Finding The Old Road Of The Heart, A Zen Memoir

Table of Contents

More Advance Praise for One Blade of Grass

Lovely prose This memoir will resonate most with readers wanting to understand the slow, rocky process of practicing Zen.

Publishers Weekly

This is the book Shukman was born to writeIve been waiting a long time for someone to write thisa record of how we evolve, from ignorance and suffering as a young boy, tracking his accidental awakening, discovering in fits and starts his way-seeking mind to peace and the ground of being. So beautifully written, the reader immerses along with the author on his stumbling path to wholeness. In parts hilariously funny, I cannot say enoughI love this book.

NATALIE GOLDBERG, author of Writing Down the Bones and The Great Failure

It is a marvelous book Anyone interested in writing, anyone interested in Zen, and anyone interested in writing in Zenthe book is marvelous, and also you can read it just for fun. Its a really interesting book about [Henry Shukmans] life, which has been extraordinary, leading into [his] Zen practice.

ABIGAIL ADLER, The Last Word

What a wonderful and generous book this is, Roshi Shukman sharing so openly his particular path into the depths of Zen, and sharing also those depths themselves. If youve ever wondered how a messed-up kid like you or me might master the wisdom of Zen, One Blade Of Grass is the adventure for you. Its great companyand after reading it, you might recognize that youre further along than you imagined.

DAVID HINTON, editor and translator of The Four Chinese Classics and author of The Wilds of Poetry

Theres no two ways about it. Henry Shukman has a seductively natural style of writing. And the story he tells is both informative and inspiring. Shukman grew up in a culturally rich but physically and emotionally painful situation. Upon encountering the writings of Zen Master Dogen, he was fortunate to have an early experience of the reality that mountains dance. This planted a seed which eventually bore the fruit of happiness at the deepest levelhappiness independent of conditions. Read and be encouraged.

SHINZEN YOUNG, author of The Science of Enlightenment

Henry Shukmans autobiographical journey from childhood trauma to healing teacher, from the glamorous life of a successful young writer to the quiet of the meditation cushion, from the torment of eczema to the ecstasy of no-self, fascinated me all the way, in part because Shukman can articulate both inner and outer experience with poetic precision and nuance. He manages to capture here how one might have a profound experience just this side of ineffable, and how it might become central to a persons life. There is Zen wisdom here for those who want to learn more about Zen, presented in the most unpretentious way possible, with writing that resonates in the heart and mind long after it is read. You will meet in One Blade of Grass many great teachers, and one more who stands among them and shines with them all.

RODGER KAMENETZ, author of The History of Last Nights Dream and The Jew in the Lotus

Henry Shukman is a wonderful and brilliant teacher who has affected me deeply. His journey from a troubled kid to a widely respected Zen master is a fascinating story in which everyone can find inspiration. One Blade of Grass is a must-read for anyone interested in human spirituality and gaining practical wisdom about how to navigate this thing we call life.

KIRSTEN POWERS, CNN political analyst and USA Today columnist

ALSO BY HENRY SHUKMAN

POETRY
In Doctor Nos Garden
Archangel

FICTION
Darien Dogs
Mortimer of the Maghreb
Sandstorm
The Lost City

NONFICTION
Sons of the Moon
Travels with My Trombone
Savage Pilgrims

One Blade of Grass

Copyright 2019 by Henry Shukman

First paperback edition: 2019

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Shukman, Henry, author.

Title: One blade of grass : finding the old road of the heart / Henry Shukman.

Description: First paperback edition. | Berkeley : Counterpoint Press, 2019.

Identifiers: LCCN 2019002952 | ISBN 9781640092624

Subjects: LCSH: Shukman, Henry. | Zen BuddhismBiography.

Classification: LCC BQ986.U555 A3 2019 | DDC 294.3/927092 [B]dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2019002952

Cover design by Alex Camlin

Book design by Jordan Koluch

COUNTERPOINT

2560 Ninth Street, Suite 318

Berkeley, CA 94710

www.counterpointpress.com

Printed in the United States of America

Distributed by Publishers Group West

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

For my teachers

Joan Rieck Roshi,
John Gaynor-roshi,
Ruben Habito Roshi,
and Yamada Ryoun Roshi,
abbot of Sanbo Zen of Kamakura, Japan

I sought and I found.

CARLO CARRETTO

CONTENTS

I T WAS THE THIRD OR fourth night of the retreat. Rain was lashing down, pinging against the dark windows and sometimes clattering as if a handful of shingle had been thrown at the panes.

Rain is a blessing in the desert, and rare, and the meditation room was growing pungent with the thick scent of wet dust, along with an invigorating cool that had crept in from outside.

I was aware of all that, but mostly I was conscious of having slipped into a state of calm and clarity at last. That was a welcome relief. All day Id been having a hard time of it. Long trains of difficult, distressing thoughts had been grinding through my mindabout life choices, about having moved back to New Mexico, abandoning a good life in England, and the many ways I hadnt been as good a father as Id have liked, or as attentive a husband. Finances, work challenges, difficult conversations over the past weeks or from decades ago, all had been erupting in my mind just when I most wantedand felt I neededinner quiet. There were all kinds of ways I could torment myself when I was helplessly stationary in meditation, and even though I knew most of them by now, knowing them didnt seem to make much difference.

The retreat center was in the hills above the remote town of Gallup, in western New Mexico. Gallup was a small sprawl on the desert, dusty and quiet, except for its trains. It happened to be a major railroad junction, and all day long, any time I had started to feel my mind settle down, inevitably just then a long, sonorous blast on a train whistle would come hooting up the hillside and yank me out of the slowly gathering calm. Once again, pangs of unease and remorse would move through my mind, accompanied by tensions and stresses in my innardslike the storm clouds that must have been moving through the night sky outside.

But now all that had changed. Instead, in the cooling room fragrant with the chalky smell of desert rain, a glowing calm was seeping up through me, like an incoming tide rising through wet sand, making me highly alert, very still, deeply relaxed. As if the whole body were enjoying the simple fact of existing. I could feel my sense of the world opening wider and wider, like the aperture on an old camera expanding. At the same time, I was starting to get an odd sensation, such as can sometimes happen in meditative absorption, where I felt like I was being squeezed from both sides, becoming thinner and taller by the moment, until I was slender as a flowers stalk, so thin and tall I felt I might topple over at any moment.