Kate Bennett - Free, Melania: The Unauthorized Biography

The reader will note that to a large degree, Barron Trump does not appear in this book. I dont believe being born to public figures should render a child fair game for public scrutiny; instead, I agree with Chelsea Clinton, who rose to the youngest Trumps defense in 2017, that first children should have the private childhood [they] deserve. I have included him where his presence helps frame Melania Trump as a mother, and as a factor in her decision-making processes, but I have refrained from writing about him separately. I hope the reader will respect this decision and my attempt to be sensitive.

Smile, honey. Youre rich and beautiful.

DONALD TRUMP TO MELANIA KNAUSS, 2004

Being first lady of the United States is, when you think about it, a terrible job. The role is undefined, often unfulfilling, and unpaid. With it come impossible-to-meet expectations from an impatient and critical public that acts like the worst kind of stage mother, demanding precision and perfection and the adoption of a look that is neither too fashionable nor too bland.

A first lady is expected to be smart, but not too outspoken about her views; kind and empathetic, but not syrupy or weak; aligned with a cause, but not one that is too polarizing or off-putting; supportive of the president, but not a Stepford wife; traditional, but not old-fashioned. Its a bit of an oxymoron, the first lady, because the Constitution assigns her no formal role in the executive branch, yet she is supposed to be a role model and a leader, simply because of the man she married. If she does nothing, shes criticized. If she does too much, shes assuming responsibilities of the president. Frank Bruni, an opinion columnist for The New York Times, recently described the role of first lady to me like this: If the administration is a sedan, the first lady would be the hood ornament. If it was a mansion, the first lady would be the topiary bushes bracketing the front stoop.

Most first ladies with a bold personality have hidden it, adopting a persona instead. Barbara Bush was a dominating matriarch with fiery opinions, but America preferred to see her as a white-haired grandmother who liked pearl necklaces and straw hats. She went with it. Nancy Reagan was Ronald Reagans frosty second wife, slim and chic and upper-crust. She embraced it. Hillary Clinton, a culturally inclined woman, spearheaded the redecoration of the Blue Room; added a sculpture garden to the White House, which was viewed by thousands of visitors; and championed the display of American arts and crafts, but she was publicly known as a tough, careerist woman who intruded in her husbands administration.

Melania Trump is vastly different from her predecessors. Nearly three years into her tenure, she has proved to be one of the most private and guarded first ladies in modern history. Her secretive nature has given rise to myriad theories about her public persona, her role in the White House, and the state of her marriage. She is unwilling to concede even a morsel of unscripted emotion or vulnerability that would crack the fortress. The secrecy makes the American public anxious for her: Is she happy? Does she hate her life? Does she have feelings?

When she spurned her husband on the tarmac in Tel Aviv via the hand swat seen around the world, remained suspiciously silent after headlines touting her husbands alleged infidelities, or publicly called for the firing of a key West Wing staffer, most people conjectured that she was motivated by her romantic feelings for her husband. These people miss the point. Melania is the only one in Trumps orbit who can flick his hand and get away with it. She is the only one who can say what she thinks to his face. She is the only one who can and does give advice and opinions contrary to his, and she can do so without suffering a barrage of name-calling tweets in the days that follow. She is, essentially, untouchable.

It was Melania who told Trump that the zero-tolerance policy of removing children from their parents at the border was cruel and untenable. It was she who emphasized the opioid crisis was an emergency, one that required more federal funding. And it was, again, Melania who told Donald Trump who was conniving behind his back, whom he shouldnt trust, who didnt deserve to be in the White House orbit. Opinionsshe has a few.

She can and does lead by her intuition and not by a preconceived or publicly held notion of what a first lady should be. The secret to Melania Trumps confidence and to her survival as first lady? She doesnt care what anyone thinks about her. Whether people assume she is complicit in Trumps beliefs and actions by being married to him and staying married to him or whether they think she is standing by his side because she is a noble adherent to traditional marriageit doesnt matter to her.

She just does what she wants to do. As goes Trump and his rule-breaking presidency, so goes Melania and her rule-breaking first ladyship.

In many ways, her defiance, and at times her patent disregard for the norms of the role, define her as an unlikely feminist. Why should she have to do what is expected of her simply because she is a woman and the spouse of a president?

In recent history there hasnt been a more secretive or compelling first lady than Melania Trump. Melania, the second immigrant first lady (the first was British-born Louisa Adams), has broken the mold: not moving into the White House was unheard of, staying out of the spotlight right after becoming one of the most popular women on the planet was mystifying. Nearly three years into the Donald Trump presidency, Melania is an enigma. Is she smart? Wickedly. Has she learned how to manipulate the media? Completely. Does anyone know what goes on behind those sunglasses? Read on.

Donald Trump may possibly be the most bullheaded and bloviating president this country has ever seen, but Melania has a remarkable place of importance in his world and thereby in the rest of the world. Whether shes mad at her husband or softened by his private kindness, she is not a hood ornament.