Lynnette Porter - A Year in the Life of a Dead Woman: Living with Terminal Cancer

Also by LYNNETTE PORTER

Sherlock in Digital Culture: The Meeting of Creativity, Community and Advocacy (by Jennifer Wojton and Lynnette Porter), McFarland, 2018

Benedict Cumberbatch: London and Hollywood, MX Publishing, 2016

Van Gogh in Popular Culture, McFarland, 2015

Benedict Cumberbatch, Transition Completed: Films, Fame, Fans, MX Publishing, 2014

Benedict Cumberbatch, In Transition: An Unofficial Performance Biography, MX Publishing, 2013

The Doctor Who Franchise: American Influence, Fan Culture, and the Spinoffs, McFarland, 2012

The Hobbits: The Many Lives of Bilbo, Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin, I.B. Tauris, 2012

Tarnished Heroes, Charming Villains, and Modern Monsters: Shades of Gray in 21st Century Science Fiction Television, McFarland, 2010

Finding Battlestar Galactica: An Unauthorized Guide (by Lynnette Porter, David Lavery, and Hillary Robson), Sourcebooks, 2008

Losts Buried Treasures: The Unofficial Guide to Everything Lost Fans Need to Know (by Lynnette Porter, David Lavery, and Hillary Robson), Sourcebooks, 2007 (2d ed. 2009, 3d ed. 2010)

Saving the World: A Guide to Heroes (by Lynnette Porter, David Lavery, and Hillary Robson), ECW, 2007

Unlocking the Meaning of Lost: An Unauthorized Guide (by Lynnette Porter and David Lavery), Sourcebooks, 2006 (2d ed. 2007)

Unsung Heroes of The Lord of the Rings: From the Page to the Screen, Greenwood/Praeger, 2005

Developing an Online Educational Curriculum: Technologies and Techniques, Idea Group Publishing, 2003

Creating the Virtual Classroom: Distance Learning with the Internet, John Wiley & Sons, 1997

Research Strategies for Technical Communicators (by Lynnette R. Porter and William O. Coggin), John Wiley & Sons, 1995

Editing for the Technical Professions (by William O. Coggin and Lynnette R. Porter), Macmillan, 1992

EDITED BY LYNNETTE PORTER

Who Is Sherlock? Essays on Modern Holmes Adaptations, McFarland, 2016

Sherlock Holmes in the 21st Century: Essays on New Adaptations, McFarland, 2012

Jefferson, North Carolina

LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOGUING DATA ARE AVAILABLE

BRITISH LIBRARY CATALOGUING DATA ARE AVAILABLE

e-ISBN: 978-1-4766-3865-2

2019 Lynnette Porter. All rights reserved

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying or recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

Front cover image 2019 Shutterstock

Toplight is an imprint of McFarland & Company, Inc., Publishers

Box 611, Jefferson, North Carolina 28640
www.toplightbooks.com

Thank you to the many family members, good friends, and helpful, gracious teachers, mentors, and colleagues who have made my life special and shaped me into the woman I became. I especially acknowledge and express my love and gratitude for these very special people:

my parents, Charles Raymond Porter and Doris James Porter

my beloved brother, Bartley Alan Porter

my paternal grandparents, Charles Greenlee Porter and Mary Pauline Porter

my maternal grandmother, Margaret Marie McIntire (but always Mom-ma Margie to me)

my sister-in-law, Nancy; my niece, Heather; my great-nephew, Levi; and my great-niece, Ava

my sister/cousin, Janet Davis

my dear friend for more than fifty years, Genie Fyffe

my sister, travel companion, and conscience, Jennifer Wojton

my sister and trusted advisor, Joy Carney

my extended family who adopted me: Chris, Layla, and Thomas Wojton; Lynn Carney; Carlos, Nico, and Roman Arias

my former department chair, great friend and supporter, and generous artist, quilt maker, and baker, Donna Barbie

Death is helping me make meaning out of my life. It provides opportunities for me to revisit some of my favorite literary works, television series, and films that have long influenced my outlook on life. T. S. Eliot wrote one of my favorite lines in his poem Little Gidding, and, just as I have co-opted these words as part of my personal philosophical framework (which is far different from Eliots intended meaning), so have some of my favorite characters. In the early 2000s, the BBC television series Torchwood (20062011) entertained me with the adventures of immortal time traveler Captain Jack Harkness (John Barrowman), no stranger to death. Stuck on Earth for centuries, Jack has frequently suffered the loss of friends and lovers. The series was originally set in Cardiff, Wales, where Jack headed Torchwood, an organization that monitors extraterrestrial life forms on Earth and protects the planet from alien incursions. Despite the cheesy alien-centric plots of the first two seasons, Torchwoods stories force Captain Jack and his audience to confront the finality of death for mortals. In the second season finale episode, Exit Wounds, two members of Torchwood die in the line of duty, leaving Jack and his two remaining colleagues to carry on despite the heavy loss. When his grieving compatriots wonder how they will go on, Jack explains that this ending (of their friends lives and Torchwood as they knew it) becomes the point where we start from, and the three surviving Torchwood team members adhere to this philosophy. Torchwood appropriated a line from Eliots poem to offer advice not only from one television character to others but to a larger audienceand I have since used that context to better understand the human capacity to survive or even thrive after catastrophic events.

In director Peter Jacksons 2001 film adaptation of J. R. R. Tolkiens The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, the wizard Gandalf (Ian McKellen) memorably advises hobbit Frodo Baggins (Elijah Wood), All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us. Frodo needs to hear these words near the beginning of what becomes an increasingly harrowing journey to defeat Evil; I needed to replay the video of them late one night while binge-watching Jacksons film trilogy soon after my diagnosis.

Filled with gratitude that I have been given time to live with a greater awareness of my mortality, I have chosen to write this memoir with both Captain Jacks and Gandalfs advice to guide me. The following chapters describe how I am living the remainder of my life, from indulgent travel to practical business, from personal introspection to professional interactions with colleagues, students, or strangers. Of course, because this book includes discussions of my cancer diagnosis and prognosis, my insights into cancer treatments and the state of U.S. health care are a recurring theme, but this is neither an inspirational tome nor an indictment of the medical institution. Instead, it is my story and, at times, that of my brother, father, and grandparents, who preceded me in death by cancer. Based on my and my familys experiences as cancer patients, many preconceptions about living with a terminal diagnosis and preparing for death are discussed. These preconceptions often lead to expectations for and by those who have cancer; what to expect when you or a family member is expected to die from cancer is more than a theme within this memoirit is one of my purposes in writing this book.