Hitchell - Artifacts of a 90s kid: humorous musings and observations for every millennial

Copyright 2017 by Alana Hitchell

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available on file.

Cover design by Jane Sheppard

Cover photos by Alana Hitchell

Cover Illustration: iStockphoto

Print ISBN: 978-1-5107-1662-9

Ebook ISBN: 978-1-5107-1663-6

Printed in China

My tower of diaries.

When I was about eight years old, I asked my mom for a diary. I wasnt sure exactly what to write about, but after years of walking into my sisters room and seeing her quickly toss the spiral notebook she was writing in under her bed, I became intrigued. After making sure my sister would be out of the house for a while, I decided to sneak a peek at her diary. I was so captivated by all the new things I was learning that reading her diary became a weekly event and motivated me to start my own.

I realized early on that when I was feeling sad or upset and my parents werent around to complain to, I could write about how I was feeling in my diary and would wind up feeling much better. I began taking my diary everywhere I went: family functions, sleepovers, on vacation, etc. It was like an old friend I could vent to.

I would have never imagined Id continue writing in a diary for the next twenty years. In early 2010, I decided to back everything up on my computer and painstakingly type out every single entry. Although the process took a couple of years, I had a wonderful time reminiscing and was amazed that it ended up being nearly a thousand pages. I wanted to do something with this book I had written, but wasnt sure exactly what.

The thought of getting my diary published crossed my mind, but I figured it was only interesting to me because it was my lifepeople who didnt know me probably wouldnt care to read it. Then, in 2014, I stumbled upon a Netflix documentary called Mortified Nation . I randomly decided to watch it, not having a clue what it was about, and can honestly say it was a major turning point in my life. It involved people reading their old diaries onstage in front of complete strangers. I was astounded at how popular this sort of thing was and it was surprising to find out that live performances were happening in cities all over the country! It proved to me that there was indeed an interest in this type of diary-style writing.

Before I began the querying process, I wanted to test the market to see if people would actually be interested in my diary entries. I created a blog called My 20-Year Diary where I post all of my diary entries online in chronological order, starting from when I was eight years old. After receiving positive feedback, the rest is history Artifacts of a 90s Kid was born.

Although I resemble a creepy scarecrow, this photo brings back memories of a simpler time that involved hair scrunchies, jumping on the trampoline for hours, and my favorite Esprit T-shirt.

Best. Game. Ever.

When I think back to my childhood, I have many fond memories of being in elementary school. Although cliques were already starting to form, I had plenty of friends, and it seemed as though I was sleeping over at someones house nearly every weekend. Those sleepovers were the best. We held talent shows, prank-called boys, and played games like Girl Talk and Mall Madness. I got along well with everyone; however, that all changed when I entered junior high.

(Age 13)

How dare Rachel accidentally scratch me on the head. Im not sure why my pen pal, Taylar, never wrote me back, but Im guessing it had something to do with how crazy and dramatic I was.

My neighbors trusted me to watch their dog, Blackie, while they were on vacation, and what did I do? I immediately lost him for about twelve hours during a thunderstorm. I had a legitimate reason for being so mad at Annashe beat me at Mario Kart 64.

(Age 14)

(Age 13)

The constant back and forth with my neighbor even stressed my mom out. It was time to step in with a planbribing us with ice cream sundaes.

(Age 13)

The ice cream sundae plan seemed to work like a charm.

When my friend didnt come over to play one last round of The Game of Life before leaving for camp in New York, I decided maybe itd be best if she just moved there. I tried to act tough like I wouldnt miss her at all, but Im pretty sure I started writing her a letter before she even arrived at camp.

(Age 13)

It wasnt only my neighbor who I couldnt get along with. I invited my friend, Kerri, to sleep over and attend a talent show. When she didnt confirm the plan, I started to get suspicious about her going with our other friend, Marisa. I claimed that I only called Marisa to find out what time the talent show started, but clearly, I had other intentions. In the end, I decided the mature thing to do was show up at the talent show with my sister and completely ignore them.