John Hicks - A Wander in Vetland

SmashwordsEdition

Copyright 2012John Hicks

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Table ofContents

Kereopa and Emma Lanfears Husband

The Roots of Prejudice

Feckless in Ireland

St. Blaise and the Art of Veterinary Science

Equus Dissimile Est

King Alfred and the Pied Piper of Watling Street

Krebs and Quills

Intolerable Urethral Intrusions

Southland and New Beginnings

Fertility in Beast and Man

Naughtie Herbs

An Ancient Toxin

The Reluctant Immigrant

Warbles, Noah and the Milkshake Mixer

Holes in the Head: Windows to the Soul

Frozen Fellsides, Pregnant Distrust and RoughJustice

Death and Dignity

Prussic Acid, Polecats, Possums and Tits

Mutation or Mutilation

Killing Fields

Music for Cows: Radios for Racing

The Holistic Approach

Foot and Mouth, and the Detritus Gene

Science and Drama

The Seeds of Doubt

Win Some, Lose Some

The Sleep of Life

Cancer a Catalyst for Change

To Travel Hopefully

This book couldnever have been written had I not enjoyed such a stimulating timeas a farm vet in Southland, New Zealand. To all the players: myveterinary colleagues and staff, the local farmers and pet owners even those who never knew they participated, and those who nevershall, I would like to express my thanks. It has been fun recallingmy days with you.

Moreimmediately, I am indebted to Conor Quinn and Norman Bilborough fortheir encouragement and direction with the manuscript. Also to mywife, Viv, and daughters, Emily and Morwenna: all three haveassisted with proof reading and suggestions.

Lastly, I wouldlike to thank Bruce Scott of Regatta Group Publishers for thepresent cover image. It incorporates Sir John Tenniels famousillustration of the Cheshire Cat from Lewis Carrolls AlicesAdventures in Wonderland.

Curiouserand curiouser! cried Alice;

now Imopening out like the largest telescope that ever was!...

Lewis Carroll,from Alices Adventures in Wonderland.

E very veterinary practitioner presented with a patientknows that successful treatment depends on an accurate diagnosis.One of the key steps involves extracting a clinical historyfrom the owner: When did the symptoms first appear? What did younotice? How frequently is this recurring? At the same time asubjective assessment has to be made about the reliability of theinformation received. The owners may not realise the importance ofthis process; but if you are the vet, its up to you to find out.Your patient cannot tell you what happened, but the owner oftencan. Your patient cannot lie, but his owner sometimes will: he maywish to conceal that Zac is acting strangely because he has beenfed cannabis cookies; that Rust is stiff and sore because of thelead pellets in his back from a careless shot; or omit to mentionthe stone he threw at Teak to stop him barking. A good clinicianneeds to be a detective. He needs to be curious. It becomes aningrained habit.

I confess to acuriosity about the history of medicine and surgery. It is probablydriven by the personal gratitude I feel to have lived in an erawhen medicine has been practised with rationality and humanity. Itis matter of lucky timing by a mere hundred and fifty years or so that I have evaded the abominable barbarities of the past. Ifound that the more I dug into the mire of medical history, themore my idle curiosity turned into a grim fascination.

This interesthas led me to link the curiosities I discovered to my experiencesin modern veterinary practice. I admit to a certain randomness inthis approach, but I lay no claim to balance. To my mind adescription of Neolithic trephination techniques sits neatly besidea consideration of more modern methods of drilling holes in skulls;and any account of hemlock poisoning would be incomplete withoutgoing back to 399 BC, the year of Socrates death. Bladder stonesin cats and dogs inevitably invite comparison with Samuel Pepysfamous affliction; and how could I not avoid straying into the useof goose quills by eunuchs? St. Blaise, is the foremost veterinarysaint and his cruel death must surely rate inclusion in anyhistorical study of the veterinary profession.

We have allbeen shaped by history, so I have also included personalcuriosities linking members of my family to cannibalism and themurder of a missionary in New Zealand, and to the St BartholomewMassacre in France.

But there is aninbuilt distortion: history compresses time. Thousands of years canbe dispensed in a single paragraph; whereas the present is lived inreal time. We must compensate for this if we are to learn fromhistory, otherwise we fail to recognise the significance of thechanges occurring in our own lifetimes until it is too late: untilthey, too, have been consigned to history.

This iscertainly true of the veterinary profession, which is presentlyundergoing a period of dramatic re-adjustment, just as it did ahundred years ago with the demise of the working horse. In anoverpopulated world clamouring for food, pastoral farming is movingtowards the vast scale and efficiencies we have seen in the pig andpoultry industries over the last few decades: factory farming. Forthis and other reasons farm animal practice, as so lovinglydepicted by James Herriot, is disappearing. I feel lucky to havebeen part of a proud tradition and do not envy todays farm vetsthe less colourful future to which they seem destined.

Unfortunatelyfor the modern teller of veterinary tales, the tough, idiosyncraticcharacters on whom James Herriot drew so deeply, are a vanishingbreed. It is no longer enough for farmers to be honest toilers.They are, increasingly, well-educated businessmen. Their vets havechanged with them. I have tried to give some realistic perspectivesof life as a vet during my times, but a lot of what I have writtenis an indulgence: a concentration of the truly remarkable oramusing incidents that crop up all too rarely in a profession thatincreasingly consigns its participants to desk work and cerebralpursuits.

A Wander inVetland was compiled during a period of major change in mylife. I was recovering from some life-changing adventures withcancer, and had recently retired from the profession that had givenme many enjoyable years. This book is a tribute to those years, andto the people with whom I shared a working life full of challenges,much laughter, and not a few trials.

I shall beginin the middle. 1865 seems as good a time as any in which to startmy wander. It was the year that Lewis Carroll wrote AlicesAdventures in Wonderland, but on the other side of the worldsomething much more sinister was going on...

And thineeye shall not pity; but life shall go for life, eye for eye, toothfor tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot.