Scotti - The blue cascade: a memoir of life after war

I would like to thank my brilliant editor, Ben Greenberg, whose keen eye for structure, content, and all the other bits and pieces helped take the raw manuscript to a place that I hadnt imagined possible. For this, especially given the emotional intimacy that this work holds for me personally, I am eternally grateful. You know that life is good when you get to work with people as good as him.

I would also like to thank my agent, Erin Cox at Rob Weisbach Creative Management, for braving the 30 mph winds and driving sheets of cold rain on that Saturday afternoon in March 2010 as she set out to see Severe Clear on its opening weekend at the Angelika Theater in New York. I thank her for all her effort, for her gung-ho attitude, for her vision, for her seemingly endless knowledge of the publishing industry, and for her strength.

I wish to thank Rob Weisbach for his guidance, unwavering leadership, and friendship. Rob always has the right answers, and he makes his authors feel as if anything is possible. He is a true visionary, and he is also a hell of a lot of fun to work with.

I would also like to thank the additional members of the Grand Central Publishing team who made this book possible: Jamie Raab and Deb Futter for their kind consideration and leadership, and Erica Gelbard, Pippa White, and Erica Warren for their continued support. I would also like to thank artists Flag Tonuzi and Rob Santora for creating a cover that perfectly captures the theme of the book and is not only thoughtful and meaningfulbut also beautiful.

I wish to thank Suzanne and Jason Moore and Lou and Gene Quigley for their friendship and for their support. I would also like to thank Jason Frei, Joe Choi, Vick Cruz, Evan Wahl, Tom Del Cioppo, Eric Sibert, Ryan Pounds, Ismael Gallardo, Kyle Nickey, Coby Moran, Martin Casado, Mike Borneo, Jeremy Davis, Jerry Roeder, and Jiemar Patacsil for their brotherhood and for their support of the book.

I wish to thank Kristian Fraga, Marc Perez, Camille Cappola Gidich, Sehban Zaidi, John Sikes, Andrew Torkelson, Benjamin Charbit, and the rest of the Sirk Productions team for their kindness, understanding, and hard work during my dark time after the war. Without each and every one of them, this book wouldve never been possible. I would also like to thank composer Cliff Martinez for his consideration and for the beautiful original score he composed for the filmwhich in turn became the soundtrack playing in the background as I wrote the book.

I would also like to thank those who have been a constant source of love and creative inspiration to me: my mom and dad, my brothers Dave and Dan, my dear Laura, Sam, Alex, Missy, Jim, Uncle Bernie, Aunt D, Ed, Brenda, Brian, Bill, Ben, Nanny, Joe Holecko, Jim Beal, Joe Russo, Tim Lynch, John Stefan, Chris Whitley, Cory Maukonen, Scot Jaworski, Tom Willis, Vic Lomuscio, Dave Lewis, Billy Clark, Michael Cuomo, K. Lorrel Manning, Anton Sattler, Lucas Detor, Elizabeth Hayes, Anie Borja, Bruce Tracy, Krystal and Daniel Lange, Norm Parton, Reshma Sapre, Lindsay and Doug Lehtinen, Polly and Nick Weidenkopf, Sheila Brunsell, Troy Steward, Genevieve Chase, Ariane Montoy, Tara Orazi, Dennis Yerves, Peggy Yerves, Karen and Glenn Guenther, Michelle Racicot, Corie and Scott Norris, Gerry Byrne, Joel Cheney, Tom Martin, Dave Hochman, Manuela Harding, Matt Downes, Meredith Boylan, Paul Rieckoff, Deshawn Marie, Matt Salanga, Margaret Park, Tim Haber, Lynn Yaali, Brian McNamara, Petrina Easton, Tom Clark, Jasmine Fuller Pedder, Tedd Black, Jeri Klein, Kathy and Ron Ballek, Gwen and David Gary, Kevin McGrath, Mike Abrams, Noreen Eustace, Jenny Holbert, Amalie Flynn, Sister Joanmarie McDonnell, the Stovicek family, Jennifer and Bill Dinger, Jane and Geoff Bailey, Patricia Bailey, Barry Kaplan, and Jackie and Jim Iversen.

Lastly, I would like to thank the Marines of

• Bravo Battery, First Battalion, Eleventh Marines
• Charlie Company, First Battalion, First Marines, and
• Weapons Company, First Battalion, Fourth Marines

for their continuing service, sacrifice, and dedication to duty, and for allowing me the honor of serving alongside such magnificent human beings. Semper Fidelis.

ITEM 1 . LITTLE GIRLS brain lying on the side of the road, she read aloud from the checklist attached to the clipboard she held gently in her hands. The on the side of the road part came out much more slowly and softly than the first part. Like she was confused about what the words meant.

We had met only a few minutes before, and for a moment, we just stared at each other in awkward silence. The air was heavy as both of us tried to ignore the photograph that stood frozen on the large monitor on the desk in front of us. The photograph I had snapped of the little girls brain lying in the dirt and gravel on the side of the road in central Iraq.

The brain had a large-caliber bullet hole through it.

And I wasnt sure what was going to happen when I told that story to a stranger. A civilian. What would happen when I cracked the seal on the high-pressure valve and all the things trapped inside came out screaming and running and attacking. Things that had been locked away since theyd happened.

She sat looking at me, with her back straight and her fingers perfectly arched on the keyboard, ready to start typing every word I said. Maybe this whole thing was a big mistake, I thought. Well, you signed on for this. So, reluctantly, I cleared my throat, glanced out the small window, and began

* * *

Twenty-one months earlier, in June of 2003, I stepped off the bus that took us from the airport to Marine Corps Base Camp Pendleton, in California. Captain Jason Frei stood outside, just beyond the last step, smiling and waiting to greet each of us. He had lost his right hand just a few months before when a rocket-propelled grenade (RPG) struck his vehicle. He now had a hook where the hand once was.