Sundlun Bruce G. - Finding Dad: from love child to daughter

Praise forFINDING DAD

My good friend, Kara Sundlun, has never been afraid to confront a challenging story, even when it is her own. Just think of what her father would have missed if she hadnt been brave and tenacious enough to pursue, not just her own identity, but his as well.

~ Mika Brzezinski, Morning Joe on MSBNC, and best-selling author

Kara Sundlun fearlessly shares her story in efforts to help others. Karas truth is poured onto each page. We can all take home great messages from this book.

~ Gabrielle Bernstein, New York Times bestselling author of Miracles Now

Karas story reflects a remarkable personal journey of self-discovery and the powerful connection she had with a father she had yet to meet. Karas journey takes us through an emotional first meeting with her prominent father to her triumph in nurturing this new relationship for herself and her children.

~ Donna Palomba, co-author Jane Doe No More, founder of Jane Doe No More, Inc.

Karas journey to find her father is a compelling story of forgiveness. Anyone struggling with an unresolved relationship will see how healing can begin by taking the single brave step of giving someone a chance at redemption.

~ Denise DAscenzo, Emmy Award winning news anchor WFSB-TV

FINDING DAD

FROM LOVE CHILD
TO DAUGHTER

by

KARA SUNDLUN

Behler Publications

Finding Dad: From Love Child to Daughter

A Behler Publications Book

Copyright 2015 by Kara Sundlun

Cover design by Yvonne Parks - www.pearcreative.ca.

Front cover photo of Kara Sundlun and two interior photos courtesy of Daymon J. Hartley -daymonjhartley.com

Front and back cover photography by Soozie Sundlun EG Photo & Studio

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without the written permission of the publisher, except where permitted by law.

Some names have been changed to protect their privacy.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Sundlun, Kara, 1975

Finding Dad : from "love child" to daughter / by Kara Sundlun.

pages cm

ISBN 978-1-933016-45-0 (paperback) -- ISBN 1-933016-45-0 (paperback) 1. Sundlun, Kara, 1975- 2. Sundlun, Kara, 1975---Childhood and youth. 3. Sundlun, Bruce G., 1920-2011--Family. 4. Fathers and daughters--United States--Biography. 5. Illegitimate children--United States--Biography. 6. Women television journalists--United States--Biography. 7. Governors--Rhode Island--Biography. 8. Paternity--United States. I. Title.

CT275.S9665A3 2014

306.8742092--dc23

[B]

2014023987

FIRST PRINTING

ISBN 13: 978-1-933016-45-0 e-book

ISBN 978-1-933016-24-5

Published by Behler Publications, LLC

USA

www.behlerpublications.com

Manufactured in the United States of America

To Mom, for her unwavering love always.

To my husband, Dennis, and children, Helena and Julian
for being my dream come true.

To my father, for making it all better.

FOREWORD BY MIKA BRZEZINSKI

We are becoming a Fatherless America. It is the epidemic few are talking about, but one that is drastically affecting our homes, health, and yes, our economy. The latest census figures show 43% of American children are living in homes without their fathers. One third of births are now occurring outside of marriage, with many fathers having no connection to their children. President Barack Obama, himself fatherless, started a White House Task Force on Fatherlessness saying, It is something that leaves a hole in a childs life that no government can fill.

Finding Dad is a call to action. In her riveting memoir, my friend and fellow journalist, Kara Sundlun, addresses one of the most important issues of our time. Kara tells her deeply personal story of the pain caused by not having a father in her life as she grew up in the Midwest with a devoted single mother who, like so many others today, tried to fill the void left by a father who refused to acknowledge his daughteruntil Kara forced him to.

Karas story is a happy ending. She experienced something powerfulher fathers acceptanceand that helped her become the empowered woman she is today. Kara will tell you she doesnt believe she could be the successful wife, mother, Emmy award winning television news anchor, and talk show host she is today if she had not been able to connect with her father, whom she calls the other half of me.

Kara offers valuable lessons as fathers continue to disappear from the American family landscape. Though Karas story became more public than most, it is one that is all too familiar to communities rich and poor across the nation. FINDING DAD shows us fathers can no longer be accessories in the lives of our children if we want a healthy, empowered, and prosperous America.

Kara talks about how the absence of a father left her with a cracked foundation, making her feel less than. In my book, KNOWING YOUR VALUE, I urge women to take a stand for what they want, and get what they deserve. But KNOWINGYOUR VALUE is a difficult task for a generation of kids who have grown up with one parent refusing to value them at all. Fatherless children are at a dramatically greater risk of drug and alcohol abuse, mental illness, suicide, poor educational performance, teen pregnancy, and criminal behavior, with 85% of youths in prison growing up in a fatherless home, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

Kara shows how the entry of a father into her life helped her transform, and she reveals a powerful lesson that it is never too late to heal fractured relationships when we choose to live in the present moment. FINDING DAD speaks to the importance of fathers raising their families, and sends the universal message that its never too late to forgive. It can often take a lifetime to find out who you are and what you are made of. Kara started early. She knew her value. Her journey is a fascinating and powerful look at a young womans quest to find answersand herself.

~ Mika Brzezinski, Morning Joe on MSBNC, and best-selling author

I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong
as the need for a fathers protection.

~ Sigmund Freud

The Awakening

Election Night, 1988

I was thirteen years old and had never even seen a picture of my father, when suddenly the invisible character of my childhood had a face. I dont know what woke me up that night, but my eyes popped open with a sense of urgency at the very second a CNN news anchor was announcing the results of the 1988 gubernatorial election in Rhode Island.

It was a close one in the Ocean State for Bruce Sundlun, she announced. She talked about how this war hero/business tycoon-turned politician had captured forty-nine percent of the votealmost beating the incumbent, Governor Edward DiPrete.

Seeing his picture staring back at me on TV, Bruce Sundlun was suddenly real, and not just a faceless man who broke my mothers heart. I reached over and shook my mother, who was sleeping next to me. Mom, wake up! Is that him? I shrieked.

Bleary eyed from the move to a new house which had us spending the night in a hotel, she looked up and answered me in a scratchy, shocked voice, He must have gone back to Rhode Island, where hes from.

She hadnt laid eyes on Bruce Sundlun, the man she always referred to as my biological father, since 1977 when she was forced to settle her paternity suit out of court after he refused to claim me as his flesh and blood. There was no such thing as a DNA test back then, the blood tests could only show my father and I both had the same O blood type. His big-time lawyers argued the evidence was inconclusive. Mom eventually caved, and agreed to a $35,000 dollar settlement, and promised to never contact him again, or let me use his surname.