Craig Revel Horwood - All Balls and Glitter

Praise for All Balls and Glitter

Very frank.

Closer

Explosive a scandalous story coupled with
Craigs trademark honesty.

Womans Own

Engrossing.

Dancing Times

Reading Craigs bizarre but heartbreaking life story, hes
more stiletto in the glitter than stig in the mud.

New!

Craig Revel Horwood is always more than happy to tell it
like it is and hes done just that in his autobiography.

Take It Easy

First published in paperback in Great Britain in 2009 by

Michael OMara Books Limited

9 Lion Yard

Tremadoc Road

London SW4 7NQ

This electronic edition published 2011

ISBN 978-1-84317-630-5 in ePub format

ISBN 978-1-84317-629-9 in Mobipocket format

ISBN 978-1-84317-388-5 in Paperback print format

Copyright Craig Revel Horwood 2008, 2009, 2011

The right of Craig Revel Horwood to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All pictures courtesy of Craig Revel Horwood, and reproduced with his kind permission.

Every reasonable effort has been made to acknowledge all copyright holders. Any errors or omissions that may have occurred are inadvertent, and anyone with any copyright queries is invited to write to the publishers, so that a full acknowledgement may be included in subsequent editions of this work.

You may not copy, store, distribute, transmit, reproduce or otherwise make available this publication (or any part of it) in any form, or by any means (electronic, digital, optical, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise), without the prior written permission of the publisher. Any person who does any unauthorized act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.

A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

Designed and typeset by E-Type

Plate section designed by www.envydesign.co.uk

Cover designed by Joanna Wood

Cover image: www.armandattard.com

www.mombooks.com

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Id really like to thank my family for being brave and supporting me in the content of this book. I know how hard it must have been to relive some of the experiences we have shared, both good and bad. The fact that there were incidents of which we were not all aware and have learned only through reading the book cannot have been easy.

I have not written All Balls and Glitter to offend anyone, but simply to explain how each and every person can touch your life, no matter how large or small the involvement or part they play in it.

I believe that you meet certain people at certain times for a reason and thats to learn something more about yourself, so you can gain a better understanding, not only personally, but socially; how to respect the views and opinions of others to make the world in which we live a better place.

Im grateful to everyone who has helped me to see me as I am. I pray that my honesty continues throughout my life and doesnt get me into too much trouble!

Alison, without you, this book would be illiterate. Thank you for your organization skills.

To all the beautiful people I have mentioned in this tome, my sincere apologies, and thanks for making my life so special and rewarding. Life, it seems, really is what you make it and we continue to learn and grow every day.

A special thank you to Grant, the man I love: the poor bugger has been thrown in at the deep end!

Craig, 2008

L avish stood on the stage at the Comedy Club in Adelaide, exhausted but exhilarated. Shed been working at the theatre all day and gone on to the club afterwards, but her act had been amazing. The crowd had loved the tap, the trumpet and the fabulous voice, and had roared as the dancing diva went into Greatest Love of All. Now they were screaming for more.

The gigs were getting increasingly frequent and the stage managers were willing to pay top whack for more songs, but somehow it wasnt enough. As she faced an adoring audience and delivered her finale, she lapped up the applause and smiled her most engaging smile. And all the time she was plotting her own demise.

Like many of the beautiful and talented, Lavish was always destined to die young. That moment had come. It was Craigs turn to shine.

By the time I decided to kill off Lavish, my glamorous alter ego, we had been together for two years.

As an aspiring and hugely ambitious twenty-year-old dancer, I soon got sick of being stuck in the chorus line where I felt my true potential was being missed. I was always the understudy to the leading characters, but I never got to play them straight off. I wanted to be different.

I had already seen myself in drag when Id dressed up for the Miss Alternate pageant in Melbourne in 1982. Id looked pretty hot. Never being one to set my sights too low, I now thought, Maybe I could be a drag pop princess or an androgynous singer like David Bowie.

It was the eighties and Culture Club were huge, so being in drag didnt seem a big deal. I saw an interview on the telly with Boy George and he was so honest and open: a great inspiration. Unlike most people in the public eye, who appeared fake to me, he stood up for what he believed in and said, Yes, I like wearing lipstick. Yes, I look good.

I decided to go for it. At the time, I was dancing every night in high heels in La Cage aux Folles, so I was halfway to being a drag act anyway. Creating an alter ego would be a fitting way of exposing my other talents. Lavish was born.

It was Danny La Rue who had nicknamed me Lavish when I was touring with him (which he and all my other friends frequently shortened to Lav). That, naturally, became my drag name. The character was simple too. She was a glamour puss who couldnt stop singing and dancing, and she loved doing cover versions of Whitney Houston songs. I was never going to sing like Whitney, and I certainly couldnt look like her, so I had to develop my own style.

For the image, I didnt need to go far. This was the Dynasty era, so I set about recreating that Joan Collins allure: sparkle and extravagant fashion were a must. I copied Joans make-up and found myself an emerald-green dress with the perfect design: long sleeves to cover my hairy arms, and massive eighties shoulder pads. I finished the look with open-toed courts complete with six-inch stiletto heels fabulous! What a dazzling, talented creature I had created. She was nearly seven feet tall in those shoes, with wild auburn hair, and was extremely popular on the drag circuits.

Lavish didnt need much patter because she had a belter of a singing voice and always performed live. Drag queens were all the rage in Australia at the time, but they were all miming it was like The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert so Lavishs version of Greatest Love of All was legendary. Other favourites were I Am Woman, the Helen Reddy classic, and You Gotta Have a Gimmick, which is usually performed by three women, but Lavish did all the parts: playing the trumpet, tap-dancing and ending with a sprinkling of ballet into the splits. She would execute a series of dramatic fouett turns and then, with a big bang, slide into the splits on the cymbal crash.