Rivvy Neshama - Recipes for a Sacred Life: True Stories and a Few Miracles

Praise for Recipes for a Sacred Life

Exquisite storytelling. Written in the spirit of Elizabeth Gilbert or Anne Lamott, Neshamas stories (and a few miracles) are uplifting, witty, and wise.

Publishers Weekly

Joy-filled and laugh-out-loud, this beautiful book can open your heart.

Science of Mind magazine

Neshamas own stories will inspire you to find the magic and meaning in your own everyday life.

Bustle

A bright promise of awakening that comes from simple ingredients and lifes most everyday momentssunrises, walks, animals, neighbors, parents, being a grandparent, and making lists. The tales carry a resonance similar to healing stories from Rachel Naomi Remens Kitchen Table Wisdom.

Foreword Reviews

Recipes for a Sacred Life left us movedand changed. Wise, poignant, funny, and inspiring.

Redbook

Rivvys bite-sized stories will make you nod with deepest knowing. Its a magical companion. HuffPost

Wouldnt it be wonderful if there was a guide to happiness? Recipes for a Sacred Life is the closest thing Ive found. Powerful. Inspiring. About adding love and joy to the everyday.

First for Women magazine

Sandra Jonas Publishing

PO Box 20892

Boulder, CO 80308

sandrajonaspublishing.com

Copyright 2020, 2013 by Rivvy Neshama

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used in any form whatsoever without the written permission of the author, except for brief quotations included in critical articles and reviews.

Revised and expanded edition. Originally published in e-book and paperback by Divine Arts in 2013.

Author photograph by Darcy Kiefel, www.kiefelphotography.com.
Cover photograph of Rivvy and her mother, Irene, was taken by her father, Bernard Feldman, in Miami, Florida, after he returned from serving in World War II.

Cover design by Sandra Jonas

Publishers Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Neshama, Rivvy, author.

Title: Recipes for a sacred life : true stories and a few miracles / Rivvy Neshama.

Description: Revised and expanded edition. | Boulder, Colorado : Sandra Jonas Publishing, 2020. | Notes: Originally published: Studio City, California : Divine Arts, 2013. | Includes bibliographical references.

Identifiers: LCCN 2019953126 | ISBN 9781733338615 (trade paperback) 9781733338646 (cloth) | ISBN 9781733338660 (e-book)

Subjects: LCSH: Spiritual life. | Spirituality. | LCGFT: Autobiographies. | BISAC: BIOGRAPHY & AUTOBIOGRAPHY / Women | BIOGRAPHY & AUTOBIOGRAPHY / Social activists | BODY, MIND & SPIRIT / Inspiration & personal growth

Classification: LCC BL624 .N475 2020 | DDC 204.4 dc23

LC record available at http://lccn.loc.gov/2019953126

v2.3

DEDICATION

To my mother, Irene Dashevsky Feldman, inspiration, dearest friend, and Princess of Germantown Ave, with whom this all began

To my father, Bernard Saul Feldman, a teller of tales and a lover of life, with a spirit so big he still speaks in this book

To my son, Tony, and daughter, Elise, for the love, the lessons, and the journey together

To my grandchildren, Brendan, Jenna, Eli, Isaac, and Jordan, for the joy they give so abundantly (for which I am grateful to their loving parents!)

To Sarah Bowler, with love and gratitude for her endless help, faith, and friendship

And to John, my beloved. Of course.

CONTENTS

Friends and Neighbors,
Lovers and Strangers

Rituals and Celebrations:
Birth to Death and In-Between

LA COCINERA (THE COOK)

These teachings,

take them with a grain of salt,

the salt of your own being,

your own mind and heart.

Sniff it out.

Does it smell right?

Eso no, esta si .

This yes, that no.

Dont be afraid to pick

and choose.

Thats what cooks do

when they are making a dish.

Este plato es tu propio mismo .

This dish is you!

ELLEN STARK, 2009

WELCOME TO
THE NEW EDITION

Once, in a small town in Colorado, I drove past a Chinese restaurant called Double Happy. I never ate there, but I never forgot the name. I couldnt decide if it was a little over the top or if it had a deeper, more philosophical meaning.

When Recipes for a Sacred Life was first published in 2013 by Divine Arts, I was beyond happy, kind of in an altered state. I had dreamed of being an author since I was seven years old, and now that I officially was, everything felt more dreamlike than real.

Now, with this new edition being launched by Sandra Jonas Publishing, I am both calm and excited. With a few new stories, a brand-new publisher, and a new cover photoof my mother and meit feels like a rebirth for my book, and I feel twice blessed. Double Happy? Perhaps.

But I think there is a deeper meaning to that name. For what has given me the greatest happiness in regard to my book have been the notes I receive from readers, telling me how it brought them joy or comfort, tears and laughter, and sometimes even changed their lives. This, I believe, is Double Happy, where your happiness meets mine. And thats what I wish for this new edition and for all its new readers.

BEGINNINGS

Im not much of a cook. Neither was my mother. And thats how it all began. When I was twenty-two and about to get married, she gave me a recipe book, the kind with blank pages to write down or paste in all your best recipes. Mom had written down hers to get things started, but she only had two: roast beef and chicken. Like I said, she wasnt much of a cook. Still, she made a great roast, and here were her notes on just how to do it: Set oven at 450. Season roast with salt and garlic. Sear for 30 min., lower temp to 350, cook for 1 hour.

That was it. Nice and simple. The chicken recipe was pretty much the same.

So I got married, made roast beef and chicken, and if a friend ever cooked something tasty, I found out how and wrote it down in the book.

It was several pages in and one month later that I found more notes from Mom: Wash your delicates with Ivory Snow in cold water.

Thats no recipe, I thought. Then I thought, Why not? Mom was passing on whatever she hoped would prepare me for a good marriage, a good life.

Well, both marriage and life turned out to be much harder than I ever imagined. I didnt know that after eight years and two children Id be getting divorced. Or that the existential angst that looked so cool in French movies would be painful, not fun. Or that moments of great happiness and meaning could be swallowed by moments of fear. I didnt know that outside of movies and books, this was life, and I often wished I had recipes telling me what to do, how to live, which path to follow.

Meanwhile, my own path became one of exploring: a little this, a little that, whatever seemed to work. It could be whatever lowered the pain or anxiety I sometimes found in living, or whatever brought the greatest joy and lifted me to a higher level. I studied yoga and meditation, tried therapy and drugs, went to rallies and retreats. And my spiritual path became a smorgasbord that merged Eastern and Western religions, Native traditions, and my mom.

I also, over time, grew up, met and married my beloved John, and moved to the foothills of Boulder, Colorado.

It was many years laterafter my children were married, after Id sat and held hands with a friend who was dying, and after my highs and lows had somewhat smoothed outthat I saw an intriguing exercise in a book. It was titled Find Your Highest Purpose. Now, Im a real patsy for these kinds of quizzes. Theyre the esoteric version of the What Kind of Guy Is Right for You? quizzes I took endlessly as a teen.