Tushar Gandhi - The Lost Diary of Kastur, My Ba

Ba was not a disciplined writer. We always believed she could not write, was unlettered. This diary dispels that false belief. While translating the diary from Gujarati, I faced a dilemma. Bas written language, even Gujarati, was colloquial and grammatically very deficient. The dilemma I faced was: should I refine what she had written and write it correctly while translating or should I retain the disjointed, disconnected, unruly, haphazard manner in which she wrote so that readers would get the flavour of Bas writing in the translation, the way she had managed to write it in her diary? I decided I would not impose my language on Ba and allow readers to savour Ba as she expressed herself, since that was my objective in deciphering Bas Diary and presenting it to the readers.

Those who feel I should have corrected Bas writing, please accept my apologies. I believe my job is to present Ba in her own words as she wrote them.

Tushar

APRIL 1869

A baby girl was born to Vrajkunvar and Gokuldas Makanji Kapadia, nagar sheth or honorary mayor of Porbandar. She was named Kastur. Kasturs exact birth date isnt available. She was a sister to two brothers, Khushaldas, older than her, and Madhavdas, younger.

1876

Kastur was betrothed to Mohandas, son of Putli and Karamchand Gandhi of Porbandar, now serving as divan of Rajkot, when she and Mohan were seven.

MAY 1881

Kastur married Mohandas in a lavish ceremony; both were thirteen years old. Kastur moved to Rajkot to begin life as Mohans bride, and daughter-in-law of the Gandhis, at Ka Ba Gandhi No Delo, the Gandhi family home at Rajkot, built by Karamchand Gandhi, who served the prince or thakore of Rajkot as divan , prime minister. Karamchand Gandhi was colloquially called KaBa, shortened from Karamchand Bappa.

16 NOVEMBER 1885

Karamchand Gandhi, her father-in-law, died after a prolonged illness.

25 NOVEMBER 1885

Kastur gave birth prematurely to a son, who died in a couple of days. A double tragedy for young Kastur, who was left to grieve the death of her first-born all by herself, while the rest of the household and her husband grieved the death of the patriarch of the Gandhi family, Karamchand Bappa.

1887

Mohan passed his matriculation exam and enrolled at Samaldas College in Bhavnagar. As he left, Kastur told him that she was once again expecting their child. Six months later, unable to cope with English education and the separation from Kastur, Mohan dropped out of college and returned home, a failure. A great disappointment for young Kastur and the Gandhi family.

AUGUST 1888

Kastur gave birth to her second son, their first to survive. They named him Harilal.

1888

After Mohan dropped out of college, the family was distressed; the future looked bleak. At this time, Putli Ba was counselled by a friend of Karamchand Bappa, Mavji Dave, to send Mohandas to England, vilayat , to study law there and become a British-qualified barrister, which would make him most qualified to be appointed as divan of any principality in Kathiyavad, since now all the major administrative decisions were taken by the British Resident in the principalities. After a lot of discussion, the elders in the family consented. Kastur accepted the family decision; when funds were required to finance Mohans education abroad, Kastur offered the jewellery gifted to her by her father. Mohan swore a solemn promise to his motherand I am certain also to Kasturto stay away from meat, wine and women while abroad, in the presence of a Jain monk. He left Rajkot for Bombay on 10 August 1988. For Kastur, it would be a three-year-long separation. On 4 September 1988, Mohan left for England on board the SS Clyde .

188891

A lonely period for Kastur, separated from her husband, expelled and ostracized by their community, living as a dependant on the meagre income of her two elder brothers-in-law. Her only consolation was her closeness to her mother-in-law, Putli Ba, and the apple of her eye, her son, little Hari. The highlight of the separation was when Mohan sent back a close-up portrait photograph of his from London. When Kastur saw it she could not recognize the person for a moment; the stranger in the photograph was some Western saheb , not her Mohan. On closer scrutiny, she recognized some of his featureshis big ears, his sensuous mouth and the glint in his eyesbut how much he had changed!

Kastur would often visit her parents in Porbandar. These were interludes which helped her to survive separation from her husband, the community boycott and the poverty faced by her in-laws. In Porbandar, at her fathers home, Kastur relived the carefree, blissful times of her childhood along with her son, Hari. As she had done on many an evening when she was a child, she would climb up to the terrace and sit there alone, lost in her thoughts, enjoying the breathtakingly beautiful sunsets over the Arabian Sea.

But fate was to deal her a cruel blow. Putli Ba fell ill in the spring of 1891 and died within a few weeks; the family was grief-stricken.

It was a devastating tragedy for Kasturher anchor, her main support in those difficult times, her surrogate mother and mother-in-law had so suddenly departed. She had also become close to her sisters-in-law but she was very attached to Putli Ba. Since the tragedy struck at a time when Mohandas was preparing for his final exams in London, the family decided not to inform him about his mothers passing. Mohan was extremely attached to his mother and it was feared that he would not be able to bear the news of her demise.

In London, Mohan, who had appeared for and passed the British matriculation exam earlier, graduated as a lawyer, along with diplomas in Latin and French, and enrolled at the Bar. Then, Barrister M.K. Gandhi set sail on board the SS Assam for India. In August 1891, he disembarked in Bombay, where his brother Lakshmidas had come to receive him. Mohan was eager to reach Rajkot, to tell his mother that he had remained true to the oath he had sworn to her, to tell his wife that he had remained faithful to her, and to once again be with her. Mohan was impatient. When Lakshmidas informed him about their mothers demise, Mohan was distraught; he broke down and was inconsolable. Lakshmidas told Mohan that their mother wanted that Mohan make peace with the community elders and seek their forgiveness. Honouring his mothers wish, Mohan appeased the elders, accepted the fine and punishment imposed, and performed the rituals of atonement; then he and the family were once again accepted into the folds of the community. The brothers travelled to Nasik, where the purification rituals were conducted. The post-death rights were also performed by the brothers for their mother. Finally, the brothers began the journey home.

After three years, Kastur set eyes once again on a stranger; he looked different even from the photograph he had sent from London. But then Kastur saw the glint in the eyes, the sensual curve of his lips and the unmistakable big earsthis stranger was her Mohan, the love of her life, her husband, now a vilayati vakeel !

NOVEMBER 1891

On being pushed by Kastur, Mohan decided to shift to Bombay and establish his law practice there. He moved to Bombay, where he rented a home and office space. It was at this time that news from home informed Mohan that Kastur was expecting again. Meanwhile, the law practice turned out to be a miserable failure and he was forced to return to Rajkot. He decided to help his brother, and to draft appeals and petitions to earn some money and supplement the family income so that they could pay back the debts incurred on his foreign education. Mohan was good at this work and did quite well, although his earnings were meagre.