Wes Moore - Discovering Wes Moore

Text copyright 2012 by Wes Moore
Cover art copyright 2019 by Ray Shappell

All rights reserved. Published in the United States by Ember, an imprint of Random House Childrens Books, a division of Penguin Random House LLC, New York. Originally published in hardcover in the United States by Delacorte Press, an imprint of Random House Childrens Books, New York, in 2012.

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The Library of Congress has cataloged the hardcover edition of this work as follows:
Moore, Wes.
Discovering Wes Moore / by Wes Moore. p. cm.
ISBN 978-0-385-74167-5 (trade) ISBN 978-0-375-99018-2 (lib. bdg.)
ISBN 978-0-375-98670-3 (ebook)
1. Moore, Wes, 1978Childhood and youth. 2. Moore, Wes, 1975Childhood and youth. 3. African American menBiography. 4. YouthConduct of life. 5. African AmericansMarylandBaltimoreSocial conditions20th century. 6. African AmericansBronx (New York, N.Y.)Social conditions20th century. 7. CriminalsMarylandBaltimoreBiography. 8. SoldiersUnited StatesBiography. 9. Bronx (New York, N.Y.)Biography. 10. Baltimore (Maryland)Biography. I. Title.
F189.B153M65 2012 975.26043092dc23 [B] 2011049135

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This book is dedicated to
my daughter, Mia,
who has added to my life
not only direction, but purpose.
I promise to dance with you always.

Writing this book has not been easy. It has forced me to accept a lot about my past that was not easy to accept, and to share a lot of my past that I had no intention to. I am not proud of many of the mistakes I madesome of which you will read about in this bookbut I have a feeling I am not alone. I am excited about sharing this journey with you in the hope that you will see similarities between your experiences and mine. More importantly, though, I hope that you will see similarities between yourself and those around you. Its amazing how thin that line can sometimes be between our life and someone elses.

Growing up, I often felt as though I was on my own. I thought my decisions didnt have consequences and my opinions didnt matter to anyone but me. I was taught the difference between right and wrong, but I didnt fully understand it. Becoming an adult seemed like a constant struggle: Do I do what I want or do what Im told? Do I do what I know is right or do what all my friends are doing? Maybe, like me, you have been pressured by people you considered your friends to do things that got you in trouble. Maybe, in an attempt to be surrounded by others, you found yourself more alone than ever. Its a painful place to be. I get it. Fortunately, I came to understand that not only was I not alone, but I didnt have to be in that place forever.

When my first book, The Other Wes Moore, came out, people from all over the country and even the world picked it up and told me they liked it because they related to the stories. I was very happy about that. But I also knew that I wanted to do something for young adults, the young men and woman who sit where I sat not long ago. I wanted to speak to the young people who are wrestling with the same fears, who are experiencing the same first love, who are trying to figure out in their own time and on their own terms what their journey to adulthood will look like. I particularly wanted to help that young adult who is on the brink of an important decision. One step can determine what a persons tomorrow will look like; I wanted to help make sure that step was the right one. I didnt fully understand until I was older how our choices can shape the rest of our lives. When I finally woke up to the truth, it was almost too late.

In these pages you will hear about my path and about that of another man, also named Wes Moore, with whom I have become close. A man who, like me, longed to learn what was right and to achieve a sense of belonging, a sense of acceptance. At times he succeeded; at times he fell woefully short. But at every juncture, he kept searching. You will read not only about the choices Wes and I made, but also about the people in our lives who helped us make those choices. Even when we didnt realize it, we were never alone. There were family, friends, coaches, teachers, and neighborhood role models who helped shape us, guide us, and protect us. And that was the key. Yet even though these people could act as advisors, ultimately, Wes and I had to decide whether to listen, to work, to fight, and to forgive.

I ended up receiving a prestigious scholarship to graduate school, serving in the army as an officer, and becoming a bestselling author. The other Wes Moore ended up being arrested and tried for felony murder. Around the time I was heading to England on a Rhodes Scholarship, the other Wes Moore was preparing to serve his prison sentence of life with no parole. You can get that much by reading the book flap or doing a simple Internet search. But thats not where the story starts, or ends. The chilling truth is that his story could have been mine, and the tragedy is that my story could have been his.

We all have stories to tell, important ones that need to be acknowledged, respected, and understood. Each story is a piece of the mosaic that makes a community; each community is in turn a part of our nation and our world. And as members of a community, we must remember that it is our responsibility to help people who might not have the support we have.

This book is not meant to congratulate or to cast judgment, nor is it meant to elicit sympathy. I simply want people to realize that they can find not just inspiration but understanding in the most unexpected places. I want people to know that one choice can lead to another life altogether. And finally, I want to show them that I wasnt as alone as I thought I was, and that maybe they are not alone either.

Nikki and I were chasing each other around the living room. Every time she caught me Id scream, but I loved every second. I was three. For every step her nine-year-old legs took, my little legs had to take four. It wasnt easy to catch up. Then, for the first time ever, I caught her in my grasp. But I had no idea what to do. So, in the spirit of three-year-old boys everywhere whove run out of better ideas, I punched her, laughing hysterically. My mother had a radar for mischief. She walked into the room right as my swing connected with Nikkis arm.

Get up to your damn room! Her yell startled me. I told you, dont you ever put your hands on a woman!

My mother has hands that hit so hard you only have to feel them across your face once to know you dont want them striking there again. I darted up the stairs to my room before those hands could reach me. If I hid myself, maybe I wouldnt get punished. I slammed the door shut behind me just as her voice reached the second floor. And dont let me hear you slam that Boom! I stared at the closed door, knowing it would soon be flying open again. I sat there in silence in the middle of the tiny room I shared with my baby sister Shani. I wasnt even sure why I was in so much trouble.