Linda Hale Bucklin - Beyond His Control: Memoir of a Disobedient Daughter

Beyond His Control

Memoir of a Disobedient Daughter

by

Linda Hale Bucklin

New York Times Bestselling Author

BEYOND HIS CONTROL

Reviews & Accolades

"...a jolting memoir."

~The New York Post

"...a book you won't be able to put down."

~David Patrick Columbia, New York Social Diary

"Linda Bucklin's story... challenges and touches [the] heart."

~The Very Reverend Alan Jones

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ISBN: 978-1-61417-406-6

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Copyright 2007, 2013, 2014 Linda Hale Bucklin. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions.

Excerpt from "The Journey" by Mary Oliver, copyright 1986 by Mary Oliver. Used by permission of Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

Cover by Joanne Roessler

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Dedicated to my beloved mother

Marialice Patricia King Hale

1912-1969

Foreword

I found Linda Bucklin's book very moving and inspiring. She could have so easily made a gossipy self-justifying book, but she managed a near miracle in telling the truth with compassion and by being both honest and kind, utterly herself yet inclusive. I thought the last few pages particularly moving as she saw her father (and indeed all of us) as God sees us. It will be good news for all who read it.

She shares with us a hard yet tender story. We are all called to practice the art of living truthfully. It's the only way we can find our own true path. But how do we "declare" who we are without our testimony being at someone else's expense? The danger of a memoir is that we paint ourselves always in a good light. Our mistakes are forgivable and those of the ones who have hurt us are not. Linda Bucklin's fierce honesty avoids these traps, and we have a story to challenge and touch the heartthat of a daughter who stood up against her father and deeply loved him to the end. That's why this story is not only Linda's story. Its truth is universal.

Mary Oliver in her poem "The Journey" echoes Linda's truth:

One day you finally knew

what you had to do, and began,

though the voices around you

kept shouting

their bad advice...

But little by little,

as you left their voices behind,

the stars began to burn

through the sheets of clouds,

and there was a new voice,

which you slowly

recognized as your own,

that kept you company

as you strode deeper and deeper

into the world,

determined to do

the only thing you could do-

determined to save

the only life you could save.

The paradox of love is that the work of "saving one's own soul" is not a selfish and egotistical act. It is a work which serves and heals us all. "In the end," writes St. John of the Cross, "we shall be examined in love." This book bears witness to that and will be good news for all who read it.

~The Very Reverend Alan Jones, Ph.D., OBE, Dean, Grace Cathedral, San Francisco is author of many books on spiritual life.

Acknowledgements

I could not have written this book without the help and encouragement of many people, angels in my life, who with their love and wisdom have guided, inspired and supported me throughout this long journey.

In chronological order, I'd like to thank those friends who read early drafts and cheered me on: Kathleen Sullivan Alioto, Mary Keil, Myron Wick, Dr. John Bockstoce, Allan Stone, Barbara Goldie, Hilary Spencer, Hap Hale, Anne Pattee, Connie Price, Mimi and Ron Reich, Dick Carlson and Charlie Hoeveler.

Special thanks to Dr. Steven Newmark who helped me find and follow my north star. I am grateful to my legal angels, Peter Folger, Thomas Burke, Dom Campisi, and Nancy Levin, for their wise counsel. Many thanks also to Diana Scott, Caroline Pincus, and Thea Sullivan for their brilliant editorial skills and feedback, and also for their constant encouragement.

Thanks to my friend and former agent Brenda Feigen for believing strongly that I had a story to share.

I especially thank Dean Alan Jones, a mentor, for his friendship and inspiration.

I must thank my three wonderful sons, Christian, John and Nick, for their understanding and love, and also my lovely daughter-in-law Kris for her insights and enthusiasm.

I am forever grateful to my dear husband Bill who has never stopped being my champion. I thank him for his reading and rereading every draft, for his belief in the power of my story and in me. With his love and unwavering support, he helped me find my way.