Mary Elizabeth Bailey - My Mothers Soldier

My Mothers Soldier

Mary Elizabeth Bailey

Trilogy Christian Publishers

TUSTIN, CA

Trilogy Christian Publishers

A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of Trinity Broadcasting Network

2442 Michelle Drive

Tustin, CA 92780

Copyright 2020 by Mary Elizabeth Bailey

Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.TM Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc. TM

Scripture quotations marked NCV are taken from the New Century Version. Copyright 2005 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission.Scripture quotations marked (KJV) taken from The Holy Bible, King James Version. Cambridge Edition: 1769.

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.

ISBN 978-1-64773-208-0

ISBN 978-1-64773-209-7

Contents

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Dedication

I write this book for the little girl who needed healing and most importantly needed to forgive herself. This can be a very difficult process, but an intimate relationship with God (papa) is a must. There were and still are days that the struggle is real. The memories are raw and feel like this tragedy happened only moments ago...we are numbly caught in a time warp. Our heart raced, our vision blurredbut at that moment we fall to our knees and ask papa to take this burden because it is then we realize it is too heavy to carry alone.

I dedicate this journey, this book to each and every person facing challenges, heartache, and disappointments. To that person who is ready to give up, instead, I encourage you to rise up. Rise up and face the challenge. Find the David inside of you and take down the Goliath that is standing over you.

To the many children who find themselves in foster care. The fear of the unknown is scary. The emotions, tears, sadness, and the loss of the life you knew. I ask you to embrace those moments, dig deeper than you ever thought possible. This isnt your fault; it may feel like it, but believe me when I tell you it is not your fault. I know you miss your mother and your father. It is innate in us to want to protect the only thing we know, and even through abuse and neglect we still seek to protect the very ones who inflict such pain. But remember this can be an opportunity for a new beginning.

For my brother(s) and sister, I am sorry for the heartache and pain. I only hope you find forgiveness in your hearts and let go of the past. Recreate a better life and future not only for yourself but for your children. Break the cyclebreak the chains and be free. To the youngest brother, I loved you dearly; I am and always will be heartbroken that your life was cut short. I know youre free and well.

Lastly, I dedicate this book to my sweet loving Grandmother. My love for you will live forever though you did not. A part of me will always be missing until I see you again. I am sorry I wasnt there the day you left this earth. But you took a piece of me with you, and you left some of you here with me. I have only one picture of you and me together. I cherish this more than you know. Remember the pennies I played with and you hid for me to find. Im still finding them at the most needed times you show up. Sometimes the penny is well-worn and I can barely see a date on it. Sometimes its fresh and new. I know what youre saying to me every time I find one of these pennies from heaven. I hope you know how much you meant to me while here on this earth. I never really got to thank you for all you did to make life tolerable. After all, I was only 13 when you passed away. It is a day and a phone call I will never forget. You remembered me in your final days when dementia had taken all your memory of your children and lifestill you ask about that little red-headed girl. She is here, you are there, and your memories are present within me.

Acknowledgements

I would like to thank the Department of Health and Human Services for taking care of me and helping me with the transition into foster care. A special thanks to Jean Bulka and Jim Webber.

I want to thank the judge that presided over the tri-al. Your compassion and care for me was evident from day one. You made me feel comfortable in undoubtedly one of the worst situations I could have found myself. You listened to me, you allowed me to feel as though I had a voice. For that I thank you.

Thank you to each and every one of my foster care families, as well as my respite families. Your love and support made me the person I am today. I was fortunate enough to get a little piece of all of you. Its like the song by Dolly Parton Coat of many colors I was loved and cared for. Thank you so much.

Thank you to the Guardian Ad Litems/CASA though I did not have the privilege of having someone such as this when I was in foster care. I see and view it as a wonderful privilege. I encourage anyone who has the time and wants to help and be a voice for these children to step up and volunteer. To all the many wonderful individuals, who do this day in and day out, Thank you. You are like angels to these children, and we cant thank you enough.

I want to thank my teachers and my coaches. Many of you were good to me and understood my challenges. Some of you did not. Thats ok. For those individuals I choose forgiveness.

Calvin Sumner my childhood therapist. Thank you. You are a remarkable man; you helped me through some of those most difficult times in my life as a child. You pushed me to face my demons when I wanted to hide them away. You were patient and understanding. You encouraged me to cry, to talk, but most importantly you allowed me to be silent when there were no words only pain. I will forever be grateful.

To my Pastor and his wife at Rock Cave Baptist Church in West Virginia. Thank you for taking the time to love me, and most importantly thank you for introducing me to God. This is the greatest of all gifts.

To a dear gentleman who entered my life, and read my story. Though your time with me was short it was powerful. I believe people enter our lives for many reasons and sometimes in this case for only a season. They come and go but can leave a lasting impact on you. Your encouragement and belief in me were what I needed at the time to get where I am today. Thank you and thank you for the pink ballI will forever cherish that gift. It will always be a reminder to never look back.

My dear friends who know my story and who love and encourage me daily. Who see beyond the scars and love and cherish the women I am inside and out. Your kindness, the moments you cried with me, prayed for me, stood by me and encouraged me. You have no idea what that means.

My publishing company Trilogy Christian Publishing (a subsidiary of TBN) after many attempts and rejections at publishing, you saw a story that needed to be told. Thank you for believing in me. I pray we can change lives through this book. If we can save one, thats one less tragedy in this cruel world.