Nina Pappas - Laura Smile

SAgapo

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you. Before you were born, I set you apart.

Jeremiah 1:5

As far back as I can remember, I knew that God loved me. And I knew that prayer was the greatest power on earth, because it was written on the small wooden plaque that sat on my dresser. There were other things written on the plaque, about laughter being the music of the soul and other things about compassion and forgiveness. I cant remember all the sayings that were written on it, but the one about prayer always stayed with me. There were times when our house seemed lonely and sad and a feeling of dread would come over me. And I would read those words written on the plaque, and I would pray.

My father was a handsome Greek man with dark olive skin and curly black hair. He was more than six feet tall and had a strong, muscular frame. He kept physically fit by standing on his feet all day working as a tailor at Lelands Custom Clothier store for men. He worked from nine to nine, six days a week, and played baseball on Sundays. He took great pride in his appearance, his home, and his family, in that order. Everyone who knew him would say, Louk Papadakos loves his family, and I believe that he did, in a distorted way that only he could understand. Sometimes, when I heard my father laughing, I would hurry, excitedly, from my room hoping not to miss anything. He had a mischievous laugh that always kept one guessing. It was often hard to tell if he was in a cheerful mood or about to break into a violent rage. One had to be cautious, because how they responded to his laughter could change the course of their day, but I would just go back into my room to pray. I was in the fourth grade the first time I realized that our relationship was going to be complex, causing me feelings of doubt and uncertainty toward this man that I so dearly loved.

His parents were immigrants from Greece and had come to America in the early 1900s and settled in Birmingham, Alabama. His father, Tomais Papadakos, was a master chef and his mother, Anna, was a housewife. She cared for the five remaining children that had survived out of ten births. There was no such thing as birth control in those days, and the children kept coming. The ten births had included two sets of twins and one other baby, but they had all died in Greece before Tomais and Anna came to America. Louk was the youngest of the ten, a little spoiled and a bit of a rebel. It was apparent that Tomais and Anna had endured some very hard and sad times in Greece but were ready to start over with new hopes and dreams in a new country.

I never met my fathers parents and knew very little about their lives except for bits and pieces of information that he would reveal about them from time to time. He would often mutter things in Greek that I couldnt understand. I learned that sagapo , a beautiful word that rolled so eloquently off the tongue, meant I love you. Another word, skatos , spoken in a much harsher tone, meant shit. The Greek vocabulary only added to the complexity of life with my father. He was born in 1919 and grew up poor during the Great Depression. He attended both Greek and American schools but never finished either one. With lack of very strict disciplinary action in his home, he dropped out of school before he reached the tenth grade. Instead, he was learning lessons that couldnt be taught in school, like how to survive on the streets of Birmingham, Alabama, just barely a teenager, in the early 1930s.

Papa, Louk cried out in distress one evening as he and his older brother Timo sat in bed next to their father. Tomais was reading to them when suddenly he gasped for air, dropped the book, and grabbed his chest. Papa, whats happening? Timo frantically ran into the next room to get his mother. It all happened so fast, but the results were fatal. Tomais had a massive heart attack and died instantly lying on the bed between his two sons. Louk was only ten years old.

Watching their father take his last breath was devastating for the boys and would be the last memory Louk and Timo would have of him and the last bedtime story. Bedtime stories were pleasures for little children, but now Timo, being the eldest, would be expected to carry on as head of the household. Louk, being the youngest, would need to find his place as well. Learning to survive during the Depression with little or no supervision wasnt uncommon for poor children in the early 1900s. Being the youngest of the five surviving children, Louk was mostly looked after by his older siblings, all who were needed to help their now widowed mother. They did as well as could be expected, as they were still just children themselves, and they all adored Louk.

Dariea, the youngest sister in the Papadakos family, was a dainty little woman, was fairer in her complexion and lighter in her hair color than was the customary appearance of the northern Greek women of darker hair and skin. And though she loved her brother Louk, she had other matters to concern herself with. I refuse to become an old maid, she would complain, because in those days a girl was considered as an old maid if she was still single after the age of twenty. I want to marry a man who will provide for me a wonderful life and a future. She was a strong-willed, southern Greek bell and discovered that finding a husband wasnt so difficult if she used her charms. It was during a Sunday service at the Greek Orthodox Church where she first set eyes on Gaios Apostolos. Gaios was the owner of Gaios Hot Dogs, a sandwich shop located in the city. Dariea and Gaios began dating, and, not long into their relationship, decided to marry. Gaios Hot Dogs became so popular that Gaios was later proclaimed the Hot Dog King by his competitors. His business grew quickly, and he invested in more hot dog franchises throughout the city. They purchased a pretty home on the west side of town close to where Darieas brother Timo lived. The home sat on a large corner lot and had a white wrought iron fence around a beautifully landscaped yard. The interior was decorated with lush carpets and drapes and the furniture covered in exquisite fabrics.

Are you children finished, what are you doing in there? It appeared that Uncle Gaios didnt like children very much. He would complain and mumble as he stood outside the bathroom door holding a rag to wipe down the seat after my brothers and I used the toilet. We thought it was so funny that the beautiful furniture in his living room was covered in clear plastic and made a squeaking noise when we sat on it. We figured he thought of us as nasty little hellions on a mission to destroy his clean home. But nevertheless, we visited almost every Saturday because Aunt Dariea couldnt drive, so my mother would spend many a Saturday morning chauffeuring her to the beauty shop and the S&H Green Stamp Store. As Uncle Gaioss franchise continued to grow, he employed Darieas older sister Athena, and later when Athenas son little Sergio came of age, he too worked for Gaios. The hot dog business proved to be quite lucrative for both Gaios and little Sergio, and they both became very wealthy by their own means, simply from producing a delicious sauce for a simple wiener.

Dariea had achieved what she had set out to accomplish, to live comfortably for the rest of her life and raise their daughter, Gia Ann. As a means of payment for chauffeuring and helping her each week, Dariea would give my mother many of Gia Anns beautiful clothes.

There might be a cashmere sweater and wool pants from Bobbi Brooks, pretty handbags, and jewelry. The things my mother couldnt wear were handed down to me. This was a boost to my self-confidence, as it enabled me to wear nice things that, otherwise, my father couldnt afford. It was because of this generosity that I didnt hold a grudge or have ill feelings toward Uncle Gaios for wiping down the toilet seats when my brothers and I finished our business in his fancy lavatory.