Ludwig van Beethoven
1770 1827
I had many admirers, but few relationships
The advances of some beautiful women tempted me
However, my search for perfection in music was more important
Sounds I could create, but eventually not hear
An affliction that drove me into a more isolated world
A world very different from where I started
My father, Johann, was a Court musician
I was his eldest son, and named after my grandfather, a noted tenor
From an early age, my father taught me to play the violin and piano
It was not an easy relationship
At times, he was very severe with me
I feared for my safety when he had been drinking
If he found fault with my work, he would hit me around the head
Maybe this is why I had hearing problems in later life
My mother, Maria, was my best friend and shielded me in times of trouble
She had also suffered much
Of her seven children, only two survived to be adults
Five of my brothers and sisters died during infancy
We lived in a solid townhouse in Bonn, Germany
Early in my youth, it was recognized that I had musical talent
At the age of seven I made my first public music performance at Cologne
Father made me practise scales for hours on end
He was very strict and angry if I made mistakes
Then he asked Thomas Pfeiffer to tutor me
This was often done late at night when I was tired
On a visit to Holland with my mother, I played for the Dutch
They appreciated the music, but were stingy with their money
Father arranged for me to be taught by Christian Gottlob Neefe
He was a keen task master and I learnt a lot from him
The lessons enabled me to become an assistant organist at Court
By the age of 12, I had written nine variations on a theme
Count Max Franz, Elector of Cologne, was my patron
It was a high honour for a 14 year old
It enabled me to earn money to support my family
This was necessary as my fathers alcoholism became worse
Word spread of my musical performances
In 1787, I was invited to play in Vienna
Mozart was living there and we met briefly
After only two weeks in the city, I received dreadful news
My mother had died, so I returned quickly to Bonn
Sadness and grieving came upon me
Shortly afterwards, my sister, Margaretha, also passed away
It took me a long time to focus once again on music
Count Waldstein became a friend and admirer of my work
To assist, he generously bought me a new piano
My Opus Number 53 was dedicated to him
The Elector, Franz, formed a new orchestra in which I played the viola
Also Haydn, the great composer, visited, and admired my compositions
The Elector said that he would pay for me to study with him
Therefore, in 1792, I returned to Vienna
It was a long and hard journey, in bad weather over rough roads
Shortly after I arrived, I received news of my fathers death
I heard that Amadeus Mozart, the great composer, had also recently died
It brought back many fears, as I saw poverty and disease all around
Aged 22, I resolved to make the best of my ability
Leading composers helped me in my quest
Haydn gave me lessons in counterpoint, as did the composer, Salieri
Later, I made tours of Prague, Dresden, Leipzig, Berlin and Budapest
In each city, I played to appreciative audiences
There were many demands on my time, and I was under pressure
Some people said that I was brusque, impatient and, at times, angry
Maybe, but I needed time to be by myself and compose
Others, like Carl Czerny, whom I taught, felt that I was helpful
Indeed, I had strong feelings for many people
But my nature was not to embrace a relationship
Countess Julie Guicciardi wanted me to do so
My Moonlight Sonata was dedicated to her
She was my immortal beloved, ever in my thoughts, but not in my life
There were others who showed me affection
Bettina von Arnim and Countess Erdody being two who I admired
However, giving myself fully to someone else was just not me
Destined to walk alone, I lived only for my music
Aged 27, I suffered greatly with a severe form of tinnitus
As a result, I slowly began to lose my hearing
By 1800, at the age of 30, I was able to write my First Symphony
Piano Sonata Pathtique
It was one of nine that I wrote in the next 25 years
The last one taking me over ten years to get right
Some people cried when they heard my music
To raise a smile, I said that I preferred applause
And, of course, money with which to live
However, it is a wonder that I wrote any music
My deafness increased, and there was no cure
Doctors recommended that I go to the countryside
In the village of Heiligenstadt, I tried to build a new life
Instead, a dark depression came upon me
Should I bring my wretched life to a conclusion?