Chloe Sims - Chloe Sims--The Only Way is Up--My Story

B eing famous was never something Id thought about it certainly wasnt an ambition, like it is for some people.

The truth is, I wanted to be a model; I had never even thought for a minute about being on TV, but I needed cash and fame brings you money. Its as simple as that. Id tried everything else, but I hadnt tried fame. Being on TV would give my daughter and me a better life.

I am a firm believer that, if you want something enough, then somehow you will get it. Many times over the years I have said to myself, This is not my real life as if I was not living the life I was meant to.

Finally, I feel as though I am.

For as long as I can remember, Ive wanted a white Mercedes. I never thought in a million years I would get one, but now I have. Im proud of it but also surprised that I have managed to bag my dream car. Thats not just it, me and my seven-year-old daughter Madison, or Mady for short, moved into a new house at the beginning of this year, and we are really happy and settled. Before that, we lived in a flat on a main road, Queens Road, in Buckhurst Hill, and it was a nightmare.

We lived opposite a social club and it was really noisy there would be people leaving late at night and it used to keep Mady awake. They would get deliveries at all hours and the sound of them rolling the barrels right past our front door used to make the whole place shake. Then there was Costa Coffee, which was next door they would get deliveries at 4am every single day.

Its funny because it never really felt like home, even though we lived there for two-and-a-half years. I didnt even bother to finish decorating it because it always felt temporary.

Now we live on the edge of farmland, with a huge garden and stunning views across the countryside. Mady can go out and see the cows and sheep in the fields and theres no banging around at all hours finally, we feel happy and safe.

I first heard about The Only Way Is Essex a couple of years ago when a gang of friends told me about this show that they were involved in. It was being made in Essex by a TV company called Lime Pictures.

They were wanting to film glamorous, larger-than-life characters that were well known on the party circuit for what sounded like an exciting new type of TV series all glossy like a soap, but with real people. It was going to cover everything from bikini waxes to cheating and rows over men!

I hated my job and wasnt earning a lot of money at the time; I thought it could be a lifesaver for me, and it sounded like a laugh, too! They were holding auditions at Faces nightclub in Gants Hill and I knew the owner, Tony Bee, so I asked him for the producers phone number. I thought about it for a while and then decided I had nothing to lose, so I eventually rang the number.

The producer was a woman called Sarah Dillistone, and we arranged to meet up in the King William pub in Chigwell. Over a drink, I told her about my crazy life and we chatted for hours. I told her about being single and the dating disasters Id had, and she told me to email her over a short blog every week about what Id been up to and any dates Id been on.

After a couple of months of my sending over the weekly emails, Sarah rang me and asked if I was still interested but by then Id just landed a new job that paid pretty well and things were starting to look up.

They wanted to come round to my house and film me, so I agreed to that. Afterwards, they still seemed keen and Sarah asked if I would do the show. It was only 50 a day to cover expenses, and I would have to do my own hair, make-up and styling, but I would be on the telly! She explained that, like with all successful shows, it could open up the doors to make personal appearances and interviews. She told me they thought it would be a real success, and I remember her saying, This could be really good for you, and telling me it could well be my big break but I started having second thoughts.

I had landed a job as a Playboy bunny and I felt I couldnt give that up. I was also told that filming would be continuous, so I wouldnt be able to be out of the country. At the time, I was working in France, so I felt I just couldnt do it.

I had no idea whether the show would be a success and I just felt it was too big a risk to take. I honestly didnt think it would be any good! Plus, I was worried that being on TV would mean my whole life would be scrutinised and picked apart. I was scared about what people would think of me what if they all hated me and it ruined mine and Madys lives?

I had a nice set-up with work, so I turned it down.

The show began in October 2010. I then realised what a massive mistake I had made. Every weekend, I was travelling backwards and forwards to France, and all the travelling was beginning to get right on my nerves.

On Fridays, I would drop Mady at school and drive to Stansted as quickly as I could to make the flight to wherever I was going that weekend. It was relentless I was a single mum all week looking after Mady on my own and then I was working really long hours at weekends.

Sometimes our group of Playboy girls would land at the airport and then drive ten hours to a small French village and I was sick of it. I remember one morning when I was waiting for my flight to be called and I was looking in a newsagents at all the gossip magazines. Every single one of them had the TOWIE girls on the front and it just hit me: I had made the biggest mistake of my life.

All I could think was: That could have been me and I was devastated. That was it I had missed my chance. I tried to put it out of mind because there was no point in dwelling on it: I had made my choice, and that was that.

Then, in early 2011, I had a call from my friend Layla Manoochehri, whose boyfriend was Simon Webbe from the boy band Blue. She had also been in talks to appear on the show, and she told me the TOWIE producers were trying to get in touch with me. I couldnt believe it Id tried to forget all about it and put all thoughts of TOWIE behind me, and I didnt dare think what this could mean.

I phoned them and spoke to the new producer, Katie Fox, who asked me in for a chat. She told me they were seeing if people they had spoken to before Series One were still interested in joining the show they wanted to bring in some new faces for the second series. I told her Id love to. She explained they would send a cameraman to my house and film me, and then they had to send the footage to ITV to see if I was suitable, and it turned out I was! The next step was a meeting with some bigwigs from ITV and the production company, Lime Pictures.

By this point, I was determined that I was going to do this I 100 per cent had to get a place on that show! Now totally sick of my job, I desperately needed that break.

I had loads of calls from all different people asking me questions, questions and more questions. Then there were lots of meetings but I still didnt know how far along I had got. I felt it was looking good because they wouldnt leave me alone, but I didnt know for sure.

It was torture because they wouldnt let me tell anyone either. Finally, I was asked in for a meeting and screen test with some of the top producers. I was so nervous that I ended up getting really drunk the night before, and I think I was still drunk when I went to the meeting! They asked me questions on camera and I was really open probably still the effects of the previous nights alcohol! I thought, Ive just got to go for it, really make them laugh and like me, and soon they were laughing their heads off at me and my mad stories.

Then they asked me if I knew anyone else in Essex, and I told them that I knew Joey Essex, who is my first cousin. They were gobsmacked because they had been speaking to Joey as well and had asked him in for a meeting they had no idea we were related.