Brian Cox - Tennis with God: My Quest for the Perfect Game and Peace with My Father

TENNIS WITH
GOD

MY QUEST FOR THE PERFECT GAME
AND PEACE WITH MY FATHER

A Memoir

BRIAN COX

Copyright 2017 Brian Cox.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

The author of this book is not a licensed medical physician. He does not dispense medical advice, nor does he prescribe the use of any technique, principle or product herein as a substitute for proper and necessary medical care. No one should attempt any of the practices or methods described in this book without expert medical guidance and supervision.

The names of many people, places, and things in this book were changed to protect their privacy but all of the events are true, according to the authors best recollection. Special thanks to my mother Norma, my brother Danny, my sister Jean, my nephew Dana, and Dennis and Jessica Adams, who provided notarized documentation for their real names to be used.

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The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

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ISBN: 978-1-4525-6253-7 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4525-6255-1 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4525-6254-4 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2017907305

Balboa Press rev. date: 08/05/2017

TABLE OF CONTENTS

My heartfelt thanks go out to my family, Setsuko, and the following people and everyone else who helped me and this project with their generous support, ideas, time, energy, and blessings: Bronco; J. Bergley; Allan and Lois Crawford; Dana Flint; Darrell A. Fleury; Patricia Linnea Fleury; Corrine Goellnitz; Dana Hogenson; Cheryl Kumma; Liz Learmont; my Mount Shasta driving buddies, Margie Schwarz and Bonnie; and my dear friends in South America, Mirtha and Guillermo. Also, thanks to all those who stepped onto the tennis courts or up to the Ping-Pong table with me and gave their best!

And of course, a huge shout out to the professional, helpful and patient editors whose assistance I desperately needed to bring the story together: Angela Bellacosa, Rob Bignell, Jasmyne Boswell, Alex Catchings, Consuelo Collier, Katie Dilts, Diana Finch, Martin Grossman, Kristen House, Ella Miltner, Pat Neal (the best river guide on the Olympic Peninsula), and Natalia Tune.

CHAPTER 1

Tennis in My DNA

After nearly 40 years of playing tennis and hundreds of matches, I may not have any major titles to tell you about, but I did have a gratifying and amazing time being the hitting partner of ambassadors, a reclusive guru from the Himalayas, and a quarterfinalist from the French Open. And, even God. An unbelievable claim? Youll have to decide for yourself.

Competing at Wimbledon or at any professional level was never in the realm of possibility for me. I was just a short, skinny kid with a hand-me-down racket. But that didnt stop me from dreaming of how far I could go in the sport and the tremendous amount of fun and glory I would have along that journey.

For most of my life, while playing tennis and table tennis with abundant passion and determination, I was equally driven to explore and understand the mysteries of reality and spirituality. I sought after and studied with several profound teachers from whom I could learn the most advanced knowledge. I wanted to experience and confirm for myself the ancient wisdom and self-realization that people like the yogic sage Patanjali, the Russian mystic Madame Blavatsky, and the spiritual giant Yogananda, and his lineage, were intimately involved with. That type of wisdom resonated with me strongly and I was drawn to it quite naturally.

I began my search for spiritual knowledge in my early teens, but tennis was in my DNA from the very beginning. It is said that we are all made from the dust of the earth. Mine happened to be clay court tennis dust. For you see, two years before I was born in Kenya, my father had been teaching tennis to my older brother on the red-clay courts in Addis Ababa, the capital of Ethiopia. Each weekend they played on the courts that the Italian colonists had left behind, Dad breathed in the microscopic dust particles from the red clay courts that would eventually become part of me.

My early life as a Foreign Service brat may have looked rather charmed from the outside, as my family traveled and lived in exotic locations in Africa, Asia, South America, and the Middle East. My family had first moved to Africa when my father accepted a position with the education programs that the U.S. State Department was operating in countries desperate for American assistance and cooperation.

Yes, I was very privileged in many respects. But as a negative counterweight to the adventure this lifestyle provided, I had to find a way to cope with and survive being raised by a strong-willed father who dominated and controlled my family and me with corrosive and painful abuse.

My fathers name was Dan. If I had to pick an actor to portray him, based on similar resemblance and emotional intensity, it would be Daniel Day Lewis in the movie There Will Be Blood . Dad was born near Carbondale in Southern Illinois and grew up during the Great Depression of the 1930s. The town was far enough south that most people spoke with a hint of a Southern accent. His father was a coal minerthere were some deep shaft mines on the outskirts of their town, and not much else but lean times and a sweaty boxing gym where my father spent most of his free time.

Boxing was my fathers chosen sport. Standing a mere 5'8 and at a trim fighting weight of 132 pounds, he skipped rope daily, ran country roads to develop endurance, and sparred in the ring for hours. When he was in his prime, he hit the speed and heavy bags with blistering combinations and knockout power. He became a four-time Golden Gloves champion and retired with a record of 30 wins and two losses.

While in college after a stint in the U.S. Navy in World War II he married my mother, Norma, from nearby Shawneetown. In graduate school Dad spent time learning tennis by hitting with members of the college team. For him, tennis was a natural crossover from boxing because it required fast footwork and good hand-eye coordination.

Mom got pregnant soon after they married and dropped out of school at Dads insistence. In no time she was taking care of Danny and Jean, my older brother and sister, and working two jobs to help dad finish his PhD in education.