Dr. Lorenzo L McFarland - Serving with Honor: Under a Cloak of Silence

Serving with
Honor

Under a Cloak of Silence

Dr. Lorenzo L. McFa rland with
Brian E. Markowski, T. David Gilmer, and Kenneth N. Brooks

AuthorHouse

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Bloomington, IN 47403

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2012 by Dr. Lorenzo L. McFarland with Brian E. Markowski, T. David Gilmer, and Kenneth N. Brooks. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

First published by AuthorHouse 11/22/2011

ISBN: 978-1-4685-0757-7 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4685-0756-0 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4685-0755-3 (ebk)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2011961509

Printed in the United States of America

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Contents

Interview with Kenneth N.
(Kenny) Brooks

I thank God for my amazing life. It is not one that I would have picked out for myself, but I am grateful all the same. God does not place on you more than you can bear. I am stronger because of my experiences!

I stand on the shoulders of my familyLorenzo (Dad), Odell (mom), Jewel, Betty, Dennis, and Lindsay. Even when I felt misunderstood, I felt loved. Dad, when I told you I was gay, you said, You are my son, and I love you. I will never forget that day!

A special thanks to my cousin (son), JaMarcus Roberson. He reminds me of myself at his age. He has overcome so much in his short life. I am a better person because of him.

For accepting and believing in me and for always expecting more, I appreciate my military family: Cheryl McCrary, Gary Matsamura, Richard Van Dyke, Shelia Grady, Claudio and Rebecca Castillo, Michael and Felicia Landez, Lorena Bailey, DeeDee Millican (mom), and Jacqueline Jackson. Special thanks to Robert Spencer, my brother from another mother.

I would like to thank Dr. John Parkhurst for lending his unique talents and insight to this book. Also, a big thank you to Gayle Lyke for helping with edits through-out the entire project.

Finally, special thanks to Brian Ski Markowski, David Gilmer, and Kenneth Brooks for agreeing to be a part of this book. When I first approached them about the project, there was general excitement, but shock soon set in once they realized they would have to share much of what they had kept secret their entire military career. They survived, however, and the book would be nothing without their input.

In 1993, Congress enacted into law Dont Ask, Dont Tell (DADT), which excluded gays, lesbians, and bisexuals from military service if they disclosed their sexuality or engaged in homosexual acts. The thought behind the law was that the presence of openly homosexual personnel would create an unacceptable risk to the armed forces high standards of morale, good order, discipline, and unit cohesion. With the passage of DADT, there was a sense that the active witch hunts had stopped; still, over the next sixteen years, more than sixteen thousand gays and lesbians were kicked out of the military. At the same time, sixteen years of DADT put to rest the notion that gays in the military lowered the standards of morale, good order, and discipline. The rank and file knew we gays were among them, and they knew we were great military personnel; we did our jobs well and in all branches of service.

Fast-forward to 2011 and the fight to end DADT, you saw a new tactic to keep the policy in place. The focus was limited to a single argument: allowing gays to serve openly would be a deterrent to unit cohesion. The debate was divided along several parties, gays and their supporters, conservatives, and religious organizations. Defenders of DADT went before Congress to describe what they considered to be the erosion of unit cohesion.

This book is written as a contrast to that testimony. It depicts my life as a gay military Veteran, Along with three of my friends, all serving with honor and in silence. You will see that we are ordinary people serving our country. We did not ask for special consideration; we simply put our lives on the line like every other military person. This is the point that cannot be ignored: we are willing to risk our lives for this great country.

When I retired, there was no discussion of repealing Dont Ask, Dont Tell. Three years later, a junior senator from Illinois broke onto the scene and took the world by storm, promising, among other things, to end DADT.

I thought that Senator Barack Obamas announcement that he would work on gay and lesbian issues was no more than campaign rhetoric. I knew that he would find resistance from the Republicans and that the Democrats would not make those issues a priority. Once Barack Obama became president and inherited two wars and the mess that was the US economy, I knew there was no hope for resolving gay and lesbian issues. Many in the gay community worked hard to get DADT on President Obamas radar, and so I was excited when he took up the charge. It was a relief when both houses of Congress finally passed the bill repealing DADT. Thats when I decided to share my story and bring awareness to the real sacrifices made by gay military personnel of my generation and those who came before me.

In the process of writing this book, I realized that this is not just my story, but that of countless gays across the United States. So I invited some of my closest gay friends to provide insight into what military life was like for them. I learned a few things about my friends and found new respect for their sacrifices.

This book is not about pointing fingers or complaining about hardships. It is a celebration of how my friends and I served proudly despite hav
ing to hold back a major part of who we were. We had to completely separate our personal lives from our professional ones, and as you can imagine, living two lives was exhausting and often hard to manage. I hope you gain some insight into what it was like for those of us serving in silence.

On April 13, 2007, I held my retirement ceremony at Brooks City-Base in San Antonio, Texas. It was a big to-do; I wanted to go out with a bang. Ten years earlier, I had only dreamed of making it to the twenty-year mark. By all accounts, my Air Force career was a successful one, and I left behind a legacy that anyone would be proud of. In fact, my straight coworkers felt that I cut my career short. I agree, but I didnt retire because I was tired of the military. I was tired of feeling that at any moment I would get caught. I had a great career and felt I had done enough. To this day I miss being in uniform. I miss the people and the mission.

In sharing my story, I hope to answer a few questions. Some pertain to common experiences that most people go through in the military, while others might apply only to gays and lesbians. I shouldnt speak for all gays and lesbians, so let me emphasize that my story represents my experiences, and it is as factual as possible. At times I found it difficult to dig up memories from two decades ago, and Im sure I have forgotten way more than I remember. But the most logical place to start is at the beginning.