Janet I. Farley - Military Life 101: Basic Training for New Military Families

Military Life 101

Military 101

Basic Training for New Military Families

Janet I. Farley

ROWMAN & LITTLEFIELD

Lanham Boulder New York London

Published by Rowman & Littlefield

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Copyright 2016 by Rowman & Littlefield

All rights reserved . No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote passages in a review.

British Library Cataloguing in Publication Information Available

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Farley, Janet I., author.

Title: Military life 101 : basic training for new military families / Janet I. Farley.

Other titles: Basic training for new military families

Description: Lanham : Rowan & Littlefield, [2016] | Includes bibliographical references and index.

Identifiers: LCCN 2015050849 (print) | LCCN 2016000179 (ebook) | ISBN 9781442256019 (cloth : alk. paper) | ISBN 9781442256026 (electronic) | ISBN 9781442256026 (Electronic)

Subjects: LCSH: Military spousesUnited StatesHandbooks, manuals, etc. | Families of military personnelUnited StatesHandbooks, manuals, etc. | United StatesArmed ForcesMilitary lifeHandbooks, manuals, etc.

Classification: LCC U766 .F37 2016 (print) | LCC U766 (ebook) | DDC 355.1/20973dc23

LC record available at http://lccn.loc.gov/2015050849

The paper used in this publication meets the minimum requirements of American National Standard for Information SciencesPermanence of Paper for Printed Library Materials, ANSI/NISO Z39.48-1992.

Printed in the United States of America

Dedication

This book is dedicated to U.S. service members of the past, present, and future; their family members who love them; and the many committed service providers who work faithfully in and around the Department of Defense in support of them.

Semper Fi.

Hooah.

Contents

Acknowledgments

W hen Kathryn Knigge of Rowman & Littlefield Publishers contacted me and invited me to submit a proposal about military life for their expanding collection of related titles, I was elated. I am thankful to her for the interest in our military families and for her willingness to work with me on this project. I also appreciate the hard work of all those who helped to bring this book to publication at Rowman & Littlefield.

A debt of gratitude is owed to many, and I will try to mention those names here and hope that I do not miss anyone because the efforts of all have been so important in the creation of this book. If I did miss someone, please forgive me.

If you want to know how military families succeed in this ever-changing world, you ask military families. They are the true experts. Their much-appreciated and more-than-generous wisdom is included throughout the pages of this book. Thank you on that note to Terri Barnes, Nat Benipayo, Rebecca Bring, Carmen Carlisle, Stephanie Hodges, Karen Jamison, Emily Jamison, Nick Johnson, Aubrey Kaufman, Tanya Kerr, Karen Kramp, Pam Cabana Macken, Debbie Milby, Shavonne Black-Moore, Jessica Leia Moss, Kaylin Neiheisel, Kate Numerick, Sonia Greer, Robert Greer, Jennifer Oswalt, Rebecca Roth, Hannah Schlagel, Kristin Sells, Siggi, Heather Smith, Heather Unruh, and Denise Wright.

My thanks also to the military family members who contributed their wisdom but who wished to remain anonymous.

Ive always believed that you dont have to know everything if you know the right expert to call upon who is willing to share his or her knowledge with you.

With that concept in mind, thanks to Arcelio Arylene, a financial readiness program specialist, for his kind assistance in the development of chapter 2, Military Money and Benefits . The ever-charismatic Mr. Arylene works tirelessly in support of the financial health and well-being of military service members and families across the services.

I would to thank two of my favorite high school seniors, Frannie Farley and Erzsebet Kalwaitis (Class of 2016) for their online research abilities and for knocking out volunteer hours at the same time. You go, girls.

If youre lucky, the best friends you meet because of the military become more like members of your own family through the years. They also encourage you when you write your book. Thanks to Donna Daniels and Chris Hamilton, my sisters by choice, who supported and drank with me even as they each launched their own worldwide PCS moves in the process.

Sometimes people you have worked with and respect from afar say just the right thing when you most need to hear it. Kerry McGinley knows what Im talking about, and I hope she knows I appreciate her for it. I also appreciate the kind words of Kristyne Torruella, who said, Its going to be a great book, Janet, on a Facebook thread. I printed that out and looked at it every day. I like to believe she was right.

Thank you to Farley, the best husband in the world, who has been so incredibly supportive through my very long hours spent writing this book. And thank you to my two amazingly beautiful daughters, Frannie and Terrie, and our furball, Bella. Your love, support, and humorous daily antics make my life a truly rich one. I wouldnt want things any other way. Now stop growing up so fast. I like having you around.

For twenty-plus years, I have made it my professional mission to make a positive difference in the lives of our military service and family members. I have tried to do that by serving in positions, both paid and volunteer, that afforded me the opportunity to make a difference. I have worked as a career counselor, an employment program manager, a military spouse career and education program analyst, a transition assistance program manager, and as a military family and careers columnist who has wanted to increase awareness about issues that matter to all of us through the written word.

I hope that has happened here.

Introduction

B efore I started writing Military Life 101: Basic Training for New Military Families , I ran into Karen, an old friend of mine on the military post I call my own. Our chance encounter influenced this book in what I like to think is a positive way.

Let me explain.

Karen and I have known each other for years. Both she and her husband are retired Naval officers who now work for the federal government. We met through our husbands, who served together in a joint military command in Germany while on active duty.

Coincidentally, her sailor and my soldier worked together again in life after the uniform, too. If you stick around the military long enough, youll see that kind of thing happens frequently in a big world that can seem incredibly small at times.

Karen had happy news to share with me that day. Somehow, in the blink of an eye, her military brat grew up, joined the Navy, fell in love, and married a young lady named Emily, all in that order.

Emily was, of course, smitten with her dashing young sailor. Whats not to like about a handsome guy in a military uniform, right? The unfamiliar military lifestyle she suddenly found herself living, on the other hand, left her thoroughly confused and bewildered.

Things might not have been clear for Emily, but they were starting to become clear for me. It was at that very moment that this book started coming together nicely in my headspace.

Confusion and Bewilderment All Around