Ashley Judd - All That Is Bitter and Sweet: A Memoir

Praise for
All That Is Bitter & Sweet

Ashley Judd has written a deeply moving storyamazingly, searingly frank . It is her life story, warts and all. As I read her account of her childhood, I asked How could one so traumatized, so abused in childhood, become the woman we know: so caring, so altruistic, so compassionate, so concerned for others, and so joyful?

A RCHBISHOP D ESMOND T UTU

Ashley Judd has lived an extraordinary life. She has learned from it and turned it into a blessing and a call to action for others. Her journey is both moving and inspiring, unique and universal. Reading about it makes your own life make more sense.

M ARIANNE W ILLIAMSON

This lovely woman, this movie star, this determined dreamer will be familiar to you, assuming you have struggled to resolve your childhood, carve out a career, and make greater use of yourself. Ashley Judds story reminds us to work harder and on more important tasks, and promises that if we do, contentedness awaits.

K ELLY C ORRIGAN , author of New York Times bestseller The Middle Place and Lift

Ashley Judd has given us magnetic and searingly honest portrayals of diverse women on screen. Now with the same honesty and magnetism, she brings us her true self on the page. From her childhood to her revolutionary empathy with women and girls living very different lives, her path will inspire readers on journeys of their own.

G LORIA S TEINEM

Judds hauntingly beautiful memoir reflects upon her life as actress, wife, daughter, sister, woman of faith, and ultimately, as friend of the worlds forgotten. All That Is Bitter & Sweet is engaging as a narrativeI could not put it downbut this is not your typical celebrity memoir. All That Is Bitter & Sweet is written with uncommon depth and uncommon love. It has the power to transport you not only into the mind and spirit of a true activist, but into the elusive meaning of our shared humanity, and even into unexpected places in your own soul. Prepare to have your eyes opened and your heart jolted.

S UE M ONK K IDD

Over the last decade I have watched my gifted, brilliant friend grow as an artist, but more important, as a wise, deeply empathetic woman. I have read the diaries that are the heart of this memoir since she began traveling the world, fearing for her safety and sanity, baffled why she chooses these grueling missions. All That Is Bitter & Sweet will be a revelation to readers, exposing Ashley Judd for what I have known for years, that she is an amazing woman doing extraordinary work.

M ORGAN F REEMAN

There are certain books that stay with you long after the last pageAshley Judds All That Is Bitter & Sweet is that very type of book. With her sincere honesty, her commitment to servant leadership, and her intense passion for everything that she is involved with, Ashley Judd presents a multilayered portrait of how one personcommitted, caring, and conscientiouscan truly make a difference. She may be our programs No. 1 fan, but after reading this, you can count me as one of her top fans.

J OHN C ALIPARI , head coach, University of Kentucky

All That Is Bitter & Sweet is a work of nonfiction. Some names and identifying details have been changed. As of press time, the URLs displayed in this book link or refer to existing websites on the Internet. Random House, Inc., is not responsible for, and should not be deemed to endorse or recommend, any website other than its own or any content available on the Internet (including without limitation at any website, blog page, information page) that is not created by Random House.

Copyright 2011 by Ashley Judd
Foreword copyright 2011 by Nicholas D. Kristof

All rights reserved.

Published in the United States by Ballantine Books,
an imprint of The Random House Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc., New York.

BALLANTINE and colophon are registered trademarks of Random House, Inc.

Grateful acknowledgment is made to the following for permission to reprint previously published material:

Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company and SLL/Sterling Lord Literistic, Inc.: Excerpt from Unknown Girl in the Maternity Ward from To Bedlam and Part Way Back by Anne Sexton, copyright 1960 by Anne Sexton and copyright renewed 1988 by Linda G. Sexton. Electronic rights and rights outside of the United States and Canada are administered by SLL/Sterling Lord Literistic, Inc. Reprinted by permission of Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company and SLL/Sterling Lord Literistic, Inc.

Liveright Publishing Corporation: Four lines from may my heart always be open to little from COMPLETE POEMS: 19041962 by E. E. Cummings, edited by George J. Firmage, copyright 1938, 1966, 1991 by the Trustees for the E. E. Cummings Trust. Reprinted by permission of Liveright Publishing Corporation.

Middlemarsh, Inc.: Excerpt from Always Unsuitable from Early Grrrl: The Early Poems of Marge Piercy by Marge Piercy, copyright 1999 by Middlemarsh, Inc. All rights reserved. Reprinted by permission of Middlemarsh, Inc.

Penguin Group UK and Johnson & Alcock Ltd: Four lines from Colours from Yevtushenko: Selected Poems by Yevgeny Yevtushenko, translated by Robin Milner-Gulland and Peter Levi (Penguin Books, 1962), copyright 1962 by Robin Milner-Gulland and Peter Levi. Audio rights are controlled by Johnson & Alcock Ltd. Reprinted by permission of Penguin Group UK and Johnson & Alcock Ltd.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Judd, Ashley.
All that is bitter & sweet : a memoir / by Ashley Judd with Maryanne Vollers.
p. cm.
eISBN: 978-0-345-52482-9
1. Judd, Ashley. 2. Motion picture actors and actressesUnited StatesBiography.
I. Vollers, Maryanne. II. Title.
PN2287.J83A3 2011
791.43028092dc22

[B] 2011002939

www.ballantinebooks.com

Jacket design: Marietta Anastassatos
Jacket photo: Kelly Campbell

v3.1

For my beloved grandparents

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite and He bends with you His might that

His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archers hand be for gladness;

For even as He loves the arrow that flies,

So he loves also the bow that is stable.

KAHLIL GIBRAN, The Prophet

THOMAS KEMPIS, The Imitation of Christ

CONTENTS

FOREWORD
NICHOLAS D. KRISTOF

The essence of being a famous Hollywood actor is that you have cameras constantly pursuing you. Its a law as fundamental as gravity: A lens seeks a star. To those in the crosshairs, the paparazzi are as annoying as they are inescapablelike a swarm of mosquitoes by a lake. Some stars simply go into hiding. Instead, Ashley Judd invites the cameras to join her as she tackles AIDS in Madagascar or sex trafficking in India. She uses her fame to focus attention on issues of vital importance to all of us, while giving voice to the voiceless around the world.

After college, she almost entered the Peace Corpsin which case, she might today be working for, say, Population Services International in Cambodia. These days, what do you know, she is working for PSI in Cambodiaand in Nicaragua, South Africa, and everywhere in between, as a board member and global ambassador. This isnt just a photo op, but a calling. She advocates for more than a dozen groups, ranging from Equality Now to Defenders of Wildlife, and has spoken out passionately on topics from coal mining to family planning. In 2010, she put her Hollywood career on hold and earned a mid-career degree at the Harvard Kennedy School of Government. Thats serious.