Table of Contents
PHILIPPIANS 4:13I can do all things through Christ,
who strengthens me.
This book is dedicated to my Lord and Savior for His grace
and mercy and for loving me as much on my worst day
as He does on my best!!
I believe!!!
Acknowledgments
I would like to express my love and gratitude to...
My husband, Roach, my soul mate-I cant imagine being on this journey without you.
My daughter, Grace, my sons, Elijah and Zac-Being your mother is the hardest job Ive ever loved. You are my heart.
My little sister, Ashley, and her husband, Dario-Please take good care of each other.
My Mom and Pop-Theres always hope!
My Mamaw and Papaw Ciminella and my Papaw Judd-I miss you.
My Nana-Thank you for always seeing the good in me.
Each Judd, Ciminella, Roach, Mandell, Franchitti and Strickland family member-God bless you all!
My brother, Michael-I hope to meet you and the rest of the Jordan family one day.
My cowriter, Patsi Bale Cox-I cant wait to write another book just so I can hang out with you. I love your colorful spirit!
My dearest friend and personal manager, Kerry Hansen-Weve come a long way together in ten years!
Rondal Richardson-Youre my favorite!
Jennifer Lowry and Tami Olin at Wynonna, Inc.-You are both such amazing women!
The rest of the Wynonna, Inc., family-Jim Baber, Robert Bailey, Steve Cox, Ken Craig, Curtis Flatt, Randy Flowers, Mike Frogge, Vicki Hampton, Steve Mackey, Tony Obrohta, Steve Potts, Harry Sharpe, Tom Spaulding, Ashley Swann, Mark Thomas and Linda Bram Wilbourn.
Penguin/NAL-Kara Welsh, Tracy Bernstein, Leslie Gelbman, Liz Perl, Craig Burke and Alex Gigante for publishing my very first book!
The William Morris Agency-Mel Berger, Greg Oswald, Julie Colbert, Richard Rosenberg, Gayle Holcomb and all of the other hardworking agents and assistants. Thank you for seven wonderful years!
Linda Carbone and everyone at KSA-I know youve got my back.
My financial advisors: MaryAnn McCready, President, and Jamie Cheek, Business Manager-What a difference you both have made in my familys life.
Diane King and the rest of the FBMM team-Thank you for your constant efforts each day.
My legal team: Rose Palermo, my second mother, and Denty Cheatham-Thank you for always being there when I need you.
John Frankenheimer and Denise McIntosh Stevens at Loeb & Loeb-Thank you for looking out for me.
J. D. Holt-Thank you for helping me find out the truth.
Gary Wood-Thank you for standing in the gap.
Oprah-Youve encouraged me from the very beginning. Thank you for believing in the human spirit the way you do.
My Musical Team: Mike Curb and the Curb Records Family-Twenty years and counting!
My producers-Brent Maher, Tony Brown, James Stroud, Narada Michael Walden, Dann Huff and Keith Thomas.
All of the songwriters in my musical life-You give me a reason to sing.
All of the musicians who have performed on my records-Your gifts are awe-inspiring.
To all my friends at radio-Thank you for being a part of my career for twenty years now!
The Judd-Roach Ranch Team: Bill Cannon, Jane New-come, Cathy Lewis, Darla Delancey, Mary (Ya-Ya) Eller- Thank you for taking such good care of us. God bless you and your families.
Dominick and the DiVito Family-Thank you for your loyalty and support these past four years.
Don and Christine Potter-Thank you for intercessory prayer and unconditional friendship.
Dr. Lee Tucker, Dr. Mona Lisa Schultz, Dr. Craig Farrell, Dr. Janice Christianson, Dr. Cutsinger, Dr. Xiao, Dr. Jill Hargrove, Dr. Barbara Nylander, Dr. Carl Wingo, Dr. Michael Miller, Dr. Lee Meehan, Dr. Gary Owens-Thank you for your alternative and conventional medical wisdom. You are my teachers.
My Life Coaches: Ted Klontz, Marjorie Zugich, Rich Kahler, Ms. Jennie, Warren Brent, Louise Strang-Youve changed the way our family loves and communicates.
Trish Dean, Charlotte Trainer, Adie Gray, Davita Hun-gate and Suzanne McLemore-Thank you for your healing hands.
My Glam Squad: Robert Vetica, Billy B., Eric Barnard, Gordon Robinson, Angela Hall, Susanne Shepherd, Kathleen Marr, Houri Barahimi, Pasquale Di Fabrizio, Mary Freeman, Renee Layher and Robert Warner.
Randi Lesnick and Hospitality Consultants-Thank you for such an awesome wedding!
My church families: Bellevue Community Church, Grace Chapel and Christ Church-Thank you for a place to just be.
My friends and their families: Bryce Edgar, Lisa Ramsey, Jennifer Grisham, Angelique and Christopher Pitney, Dolly Gillespie, Ira Parker, Anthony and Karen Thomas, Lucia and Mark Davidson, Bart and Lydia Butler, Mike McGrath, Peggy Claude Pierre, Scott and Donna Calderhead, Lark Foster, Chuck and Gena Norris, Big D. and Margaret Darnell, Art McCloud, Gabrielle Belkin and Mariska Hargitay.
Bono-Thank you for opening my eyes to the AIDS pandemic.
Kate Roberts-Thank you for opening my heart. To my friends at PSI-working with you has inspired my life. For more information about YouthAIDS, log on to www.youthaids.org.
My dear fans-I could not have made it this far without you!
To anyone else who has helped me along the way- Thank you for your love and prayers.
Preface
My pop once told me, If you dont make a decision in life, life will make the decision for you. It was the fall of 2003, and my doctor had told me that my cholesterol and triglyceride levels were dangerously high. I was at great risk for a heart attack, a walking time bomb. I was terrified that if people found out about it, everyone would focus on my health instead of my music. But as much as I wanted to hide my health scare, I was spentphysically, mentally and spiritually. I felt like my body was giving out, and knew that if I didnt make a life change soon, I would surely die. It seemed like I was working myself half to death, yet not getting ahead financially. I was still reeling from the secrets that had been kept from me all my life. And while I needed to take some time off to take care of myself, I was crushingly aware that I supported a great many families. It seemed overwhelming. Looking back, I now realize that the decision I made to call my manager, Kerry Hansen, about my concerns was the beginning of Coming Home to Myself.
Kerry Hansen, I said. We need to talk!
Kerry says when Im really upset about something, I always use her first and last name.
Wy, whats wrong? Kerry asked. Are you okay?
No. Im not. Im not okay at all, I answered in a calm, matter-of-fact tone. Im at an end. I dont think I can keep going anymore. I feel like Im starting to lose it.
What do you mean?
I didnt answer.
Tell me what youre talking about, Wy, she said. Youre scaring me!
Ive hit a big wall. Im so tired. I dont know if I can bounce back this time.
Where are you? Do you want me to come be with you?
No, I said. Im alone but you dont need to come all the way out here.
What can I do to help? Kerry asked. What do you need right now?
Im not sure, I said, and began to cry.
Do you need some time? Do you need to go somewhere and get help? Do you want me to make some phone calls to clear your schedule? If you want me to, I can cancel some tour dateswe still have time before we finalize the contracts.
