Marina Abramović - Walk Through Walls: A Memoir

I could not walk through walls alone.

I would like first of all to express my deepest gratitude to James Kaplan. He listened to me for countless hours and helped me to tell my story. His desire to understand my life moved me to the core.

My heartfelt thanks goes to David Kuhn, who convinced me that it was time for my memoir and tirelessly guided me through the literary world, and to Nicole Tourtelot.

Thank you to my publisher, Molly Stern, for seeing the potential in my story with an open heart.

I am beyond grateful to my editor, Tricia Boczkowski, for her brilliant comments, her constant support, and her appreciation of my Slavic sense of humor.

It was a joy to work with the highly professional and dedicated team at Crown Archetype: David Drake, Penny Simon, Jesse Aylen, Julie Cepler, Matthew Martin, Christopher Brand, Elizabeth Rendfleisch, Robert Siek, Kevin Garcia, Aaron Blank, and Wade Lucas.

It is a blessing to work with the resilient and passionate people on my team at Abramovi LLC: Giuliano Argenziano, Allison Brainard, Cathy Koutsavlis, Polly Mukai-Heidt, and Hugo Huerta; and at the Marina Abramovi Institute: Serge Le Borgne, Thanos Argyropoulos, Billy Zhao, Paula Garcia, and Lynsey Peisinger.

I wish to thank my galleries for supporting the art that you read about in this book: Sean Kelly Gallery, New York; Lisson Gallery, London; Galleria Lia Rumma, Naples and Milan; Luciana Brito Galeria, So Paulo; Art Brtschi & Cie, Geneva; Galerie Krinzinger, Vienna; and Galleri Brandstrup, Oslo.

I hope that in reading these lines, my brother, Velimir, his daughter, Ivana, and my three godchildren, Vladka, Antonio, and Nemo, will better understand certain choices and decisions I made in my life.

To Dave Gibbons for his invaluable spiritual advice in my personal and professional life, and to Rita Capasa for her friendship and sisterly love.

To the wonderful people who have been keeping me healthy for a long time and during the making of the book: Dr. David Orentreich, Dr. Linda Lancaster, Dr. Radha Gopalan, my personal trainer Mark Jenkinsm, and my massage therapist Sarah Faulkner.

There are so many people whose paths crossed with mine and are important to me. I wish I could have had space for all of them.

Finally, I hope that this book is inspirational and teaches everyone that there is no obstacle that you cannot overcome if you have the will and love for what you do.

Boulbon, France, 2016

I was walking into the forest with my grandmother one morning. It was so beautiful and peaceful. I was only four years old, a tiny little one. And I saw something very strangea straight line across the road. I was so curious that I went over to it; I just wanted to touch it. Then my grandmother screamed, so loud. I remember it so strongly. It was a huge snake.

That was the first moment in my life that I really felt fearbut I had no idea what I should be afraid of. Actually, it was my grandmothers voice that frightened me. And then the snake slithered away, fast.

It is incredible how fear is built into you, by your parents and others surrounding you. Youre so innocent in the beginning; you dont know.

Me in Belgrade, 1951

I come from a dark place. Postwar Yugoslavia, the mid-1940s to the mid-70s. A Communist dictatorship, Marshal Tito in charge. Perpetual shortages of everything, drabness everywhere. There is something about Communism and socialismits a kind of aesthetic based on pure ugliness. The Belgrade of my childhood didnt even have the monumentalism of Red Square in Moscow. Everything was somehow secondhand. As though the leaders had looked through the lens of someone elses Communism and built something less good and less functional and more fucked-up.

I always remember the communal spacesthey would be painted this dirty green color, and there were these naked bulbs that gave off a gray light that kind of shadowed the eyes. The combination of the light and the color of the walls made everyones skin yellowish-greenish, like they were liver-sick. Whatever you did, there would be a feeling of oppression, and a little bit of depression.

Whole families lived in these massive, ugly apartment blocks. Young people could never get an apartment for themselves, so every flat would contain several generationsthe grandmother and grandfather, the newlywed couple, and then their children. It created unavoidable complications, all these families jammed into very small places. The young couples had to go to the park or the cinema to have sex. And forget about ever trying to buy anything new or nice.

A joke from Communist times: A guy retires, and for having been such an exceptional worker, he is awarded, instead of a watch, a new car, and they tell him at the office hes very luckyhell get his car on such and such a date, in twenty years.

Morning or afternoon? the guy asks.

What do you care? the official asks him.

I have the plumber coming the same day, the guy says.