J Matt
CAM BOY
MEMOIR OF AN ONLINE SEX WORKER
My name is Joseph, and Im 23 years old.
You may know me as J Matt, or JMatt93. Ive had a lot of success in the industry of male webcamming and if you dont know me already from my X-rated online shows, then you may have seen me featured on the recent BBC3 documentary Webcam Boys or perhaps viewed my photographs and some of my articles or interviews, both online and in print.
The story you are about to read is as true to life as I am able to tell it. Some locations and names have been changed to protect the privacy and identities of those involved. Not that some of them honestly deserve it in my opinion but as this isnt an expos or kiss and tell book I dont think the exact details are truly that important, and Im not going to risk landing myself in hot water or adding fuel to the fire when Im attempting to move on from my troubled past, and the negative people that surrounded me at the time.
My aim with this book is to explain what it was that led me to a career in camming, my experiences with it both positive and negative (embarrassing too at times!) and to offer some tips and guidance geared towards anyone who is seriously considering becoming a cam boy, or a cam girl themselves.
I hope you enjoy reading it.
Love to all my fans,
You wouldnt be entirely wrong in saying that I first started camming from the age of 11 or 12. And by camming, yes, I do mean flopping my dick out in front of a webcam and wanking till I came. Though I certainly wasnt hustling for money back then, it was more just a way of exploring my sexuality without the physical intimacy and all the scary touchy, feely bits of being close to another man.
In case youre interested, I didnt lose my official virginity till I was on the edge of 16. Out of respect for him, as were still fairly good friends, I wont mention his name here, but lets just say it was nothing remarkably special.
So my first cyber sexual experience came courtesy of PalTalk a web chat program which gave you direct access to a huge variety of different chat rooms, both video and audio Karaoke, Stand up Comedy, File sharing, Bingo Callouts, and finally, Men Seeking Men and Women Seeking Women. I dont know if its actually still running, but PalTalk was light years ahead of its time long before YouNow, Chatroulette or Cam4ever took the internet by storm!
There was a small catch in that you had to be 18 before you were granted access to these particular rooms, but I certainly wasnt about to let a little snag like that hold me back. Honestly, I dont think the moderators at the time were all that concerned in taking down paedophiles, and as an internet savvy 12 year old it wasnt hard to lie. Teens lie about their ages all the time online, even to this day. I do appreciate though that theres a lot more information out there about the dangers of being online at such a young age now, and stricter protocols in place than there were back then and rightfully so! If I had a child I would never want them doing what I did.
Id signed up to PalTalk rather innocently, in search of karaoke or instrumental tracks for me to sing along to. But with puberty kicking in, and myself becoming more and more aware of an attraction towards males, I was a little bit like a kid in a candy store. It seemed that whenever I was horny, the Men Seeking Men room would always catch my eye, and was the first that Id log into.
[Paltalk User] Hey Sexy
[Awkward 12 year old me] Whats up?
[Paltalk User] Nm (Not much) just playing with my rock hard 9 inch dick, jerking off. Wanna C2C? (Cam-to-Cam)
[Awkward 12 year old me] Um sure, just gimme a minute
I was working from an old computer that didnt have a built in webcam with it, so Id begged my dad to buy me an external one.
And what exactly does a 12 year old need a webcam for? he asked cynically.
Itll be just for friends, to chat with over MSN and all nothing dodgy! I promised him.
Dad was reluctant to begin with and perhaps on reflection, rightfully so, but after pleading with him relentlessly, he eventually backed down if only as a means of shutting me up.
It was the cheapest webcam available in the electronics store we visited together, and the picture quality was grainy and pixelated, even when in focus or as in focus as it could be (this was long before autofocus was a thing so you had to manually crank the rim around the lens to adjust it). Nevertheless, it just about served its purpose.
Id usually fix it with blue tack to the highest point of my computer monitor and adjust it tilting downwards so that the middle-to-bottom of my face was in frame, with me leaning back in my seat and playing with myself. Then Id manually move it a little closer to the head of my cock when I felt like I was ready to ejaculate.
Uh-oh yeah! Fuck yes, headphones pressed tightly against my ears, and this voice coming from his end, of course.
I was always super quiet, or would type to other users instead of using the in-built mic, as it was usually late at night. And I wasnt taking any chances when it came to waking my parents, or my brother with either my own moans of pleasure, or those of a likely 30-something year old truck driver from America; who mustve had a major turn on (or certainly a hard on, and possibly a wife and family) for watching underage boys.
I dont think Id even started to grow body hair by then, and anyone who took one honest look at me would have placed me at no older than 13, and that being generous! Sometimes I still get IDd when buying cigarettes or alcohol today, just let that sink in for a moment.
I know now, and perhaps knew even back then, that the majority of the men viewing my webcam stream were a hell of a lot older than me, but curiously it didnt seem to bother me at all. Honestly, I was just glad that someone, anyone, found my body attractive enough to shoot their load over. My pale, pasty white body with its hanging rolls of flab a belly I was too ashamed to expose in the boys locker room for any more than 10 seconds, if I could help it.
Id worked out that 10 seconds was just enough time to get my T-shirt off and on again when P.E was over, hoard off the fat jibes, the hollers of Oi! Hes got man boobs! and get the hell out of there!
And as for swimming lessons? Im pretty sure I used every trick in the book to get out of ever attending them. To say I was insecure about my body was an understatement, and kids are usually the first to pick up on that sort of thing. As a result, I was bullied mercilessly because of my size, and school was never a happy time for me.
The PalTalk sessions, if memory serves me correctly, were typically one-on-one, but I suppose realistically anyone could have been watching. Regardless, I only used the site for a few months at best during the summer holidays, and got back to focusing, or more realistically, trying to focus on my school work when that period of my life was over.
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I suppose Ive always been an extrovert. As a child, I had a dressing up box at home filled with all kinds of quirky flamboyant attire Id acquired from jumble sales and car boot stalls over the years, and loved putting on little shows for the relatives or neighbours whenever I got the chance or more often than not, whenever I could convince them to quit their adult chitter-chatter for 5 minutes (