Matt James - First Impressions: Off Screen Conversations with a Bachelor on Race, Family, and Forgiveness

T he summer of 2020 was one of the most divisive time periods in Americas recent history. The murder of George Floyd forced America to focus on our ever-present racial divide. Thousands marched through the streets, and when they returned home, had the uncomfortable conversations on race that theyd long put off. In boardrooms, company officials repeated the same conversations families had in the dining room. Change followed. For the first time in my life, I saw consumers demand more than polite talk from the companies they supported. Nowhere was this clearer than the world I live and work inHollywoodwhere all at once, entertainment executives were forced to reexamine the narratives they project out into the world.

Few platforms were pressed as hard as The Bachelor franchise, and rightfully so. Forty seasons into Americas favorite dating show, and my friend Rachel Lindsay was still the only Black person to ever have starred in a season. Bachelor alumni joined with fans, pressuring the show to choose differently. They used their platforms to speak out against the whitewashed narratives The Bachelor had long embraced. They called for Black love. And in June 2020, The Bachelors producers answered their calls. We learned from Good Morning America that, for the first time in The Bachelors eighteen-year history, a Black man would lead the franchise.

When I first heard the news, I had two instantaneous thoughts. The first was simply, Wow, it took them long enough. Eighteen years is a long, long, long time. It was hard not to feel both encouraged and disappointed that we still have first anythings in 2020.

My second thought: I hope this Black man represents himself, his family, and his community properly. Being the first comes with its own set of pressures. Black people arent afforded the same margin for error as our white counterparts. Every Black Bachelor cast member after this man would be judged by his performance. And a whole group of Americans would learn about Black dignity, vulnerability, and love for the first time through his example.

As fate would have it, I had little to worry about. I found out this Black mans name was Matt James, and represent himself well in the midst of inexplicable turmoil is exactly what he did.

I met Matt the same way the rest of America did: on the TV screen. I recall him opening up his first episode with prayer. He made a strong first impression on me that day. The moment told me much of what I needed to know about the core of the man. I knew then that, regardless of the twists and turns in the season ahead, Matts faith would guide him along the journey. His principled approach told me I could breathe easy; this brother had the goods.

Millions of people witnessed Matts journey through the season that followed, but few will ever understand it. Being the Bachelor comes with an inherited set of stressors, particularly in this day and age of social media, when everyone has the ability to express their disapproval of every action you take. Despite the pressure, at every opportunity, Matt chose grace and courage. He displayed his truest self for dozens of women and millions of viewers to see and judge. He followed his heart to a woman he loved. He handled the well-trodden Bachelor journey as well as any man who came before him, but then came complexities that no onenot Matt, not America, not even The Bachelors producerssaw coming.

I dont need to retell the story of the racially insensitive pictures that surfaced during Matts season and the controversy that followed. Its out there already, and this book is a space for Matt to give his own version of those events. What I will say is that, like many of you, I followed those events as they unfolded in real time. I sympathized with the difficult decisions Matt faced, pressures from white and Black viewers alike, often pointing in opposite directions. I was no less impressed with Matt on the day the season finale aired than I was on the day the season began. Without yet knowing him personally, I sensed his thoughtful approach to all the controversy mounting before him. He led with integrity and I respected him for it from afar.