Melinda Blau - Consequential Strangers ; Turning Everyday Encounters Into Life-Changing Moments

This book is a story within a story: It could not have been written without the help of my consequential strangers. Some shared their experiences, others contributed ideas; many offered both. Foremost is my collaborator Karen Fingerman, who coined the term and encouraged me to parse it. The consummate scientistinsightful, thorough, and conversant in fields other than her ownKaren led me to ideas and theories that might have taken years on my own to discover. Any distortions of the research are mine, not hers.

Many other scholars have contributed to this book, but three in particular have provided the academic groundwork on which it rests. They have each been uncommonly generous with their time, thoughts, and willingness to critique: Mark Granovetter, who thirty years ago identified the power of weak ties; Calvin Morrill, whose groundbreaking ideas about public sociability underscore the power of casual relationships; and Barry Wellman, whose social analyses and research have illuminated the force of technology in our social lives.

I am indebted as well to a number of other professionalsscientists and clinicians, business leaders and social observers, editors and journalists. Their ideas, research, and personal stories also inform this book. They took time out of busy schedules to talk about their own work and to suggest other avenues that might be explored; or they shared their insights, reactions, and support via email: Rebecca Adams, Marya Alexander, Irv Altman, Laura Anker, Toni Antonucci, Dave Balter, Mahzarin Banaji, Russ Bernard, Marilynn Brewer, Barbara Brown, Gorden Brunner, John Cacioppo, Walter Carl, David Chastain, Richard M. Cohen, Sheldon Cohen, Ellen Conser, Sue Ellen Cooper, Nila Dasgupta, Bella DePaulo, Heidi Donovan, Bonnie Erickson, Reinier Evans, Bob Feldman, Marc Feldman, Claude Fischer, Richard Florida, Kathie Friedman, Diane Garcia, Pema Garcia, Kenneth Gergen, Naomi Korn Gold, Steve Gold, Keith Hampton, T. George Harris, Scott Heiferman, Arlie Hochschild, Bernie Hogan, Helen Horowitz, Neil Howe, Marco Iacoboni, Lanita Jacobs-Huey, Charles Kadushin, Loraleigh Keashly, Fred Kent, Ellen Langer, Nan Lin, Lyn Lofland, Ed Madera, Rachel Maddow, Margo Maine, Alexandra Marine, Dina Mayzlin, Doug McAdam, Don McKensie, Bob Milardo, Allison Munch-Rotolo, Oscar Muoz, Gary Namie, Ray Oldenberg, Tony Orum, Scott Page, Ray Pahl, Sally Panalp, Bill Patrick, Christine Pearson, Steve Pedigo, Letty Cottin Pogrebin, Tom Rath, Tim Rees, Jennifer Richeson, Brent Roberts, Karl Ronn, Mark Rosenbaum, Catherine Sabiston, Tom Sander, Eva Schiffer, Michael Schrage, John Shannon, Kennedy Smith, Walker Smith, Graham Spanier, Bonnie Strickland, Michael Sunnefrank, Bob Sutton, Richard T. Sweeney, Ron Taffel, Peggy Thoits, Jonathan Vance, Jorge Vanegas, Anita Vangelisti, Michael Ventura, Michelle Visca, Harry West, Christine Williams, Steve Wright, Robert Wuthnow, Craig Wynett, and the wizards behind the curtain at Zingermans, Paul Saginaw and Ari Weinzweig.

Beyond the ivied walls and the think tanks, of course, are the real-life dramas that most resonate with readers. Some interviewees anecdotes ended up on the cutting room floor, but their insights and honesty bolstered this book nonetheless: Chuck Adams, Jane Adams, Jayant Agarwalla, Max Aguilera-Hellweg, Chude Pam Parker Allen, Allyson Beatrice, Dana Behar, Mary Benes, Tim Bishop, Barbara Biziou, Jourdan Biziou, Paul Blake, Anthony Dias Blue, Wally Briggs, Gail Burak, Rob Camarata, Anavel Caparos, Raymond Chau, Joe Chernov, Erin Childs, Martha Cincoski, Sara Cummings, Doug Davis, Grover Dear, Zhu Xiao Di, Kenny Ellis, Bill Farris, Nelson Fellman, Jan Felshin, Edrie Ferdun, Kasha Ferrin, Ken Fox, Minnie Franco, Helen Garfinkle, Karima Gebel, Cynthia Gibbs, Ed Gotbetter, Henry Graff, Barbara Green, Carolyn Green, Mary Walker Green, Judith Gronim, Laura Halliday, Renee Harris, Mark Hewitt, Pat Hickock, Sheila Hoffman, Yolanda Holtzee, Joan Horton, Christine Hourihan, Jim Hourihan, Michael Hussin, Bertha Josephson, Jim Kates, Jeanne Kelly, Margaret Kierstein, Peter Kohlsaat, Marjorie Knott, Leah Kunkel, Ellen Law, Tom Lazarus, Kenhee Lee, Ellen Lefcourt, Donna Lenhardt, Scott Levy, Karla Lightfoot, Sylvia Mackey, Robin Maltz, Astrid Matthysse, Dottie Mayhew, Stephen McCeney, Carla Messina, Gail Miles, Peter Moore, Alex Muoz, Linda Osborne, Ken Osman, Mike Patterson, Raquel Perez, Murray Pincus, Joanne Robert, Rita Ross, Daryl Roth, Karen Robinovitz, Toby Rosenbaum, Sue Rubenstein, Sylvia Rubin, Joan Seager, Yuna Shaughnnessy, Tina Silverman, Gunjan Sinha, Suzanne Slesin, Judith Snow, Jane Stein, Rick Stein, Jill Stern, Theo Stites, Susan Strayer, Jack Tantleff, Melody Townsel, Kathy Travis, Cay Trigg, Linda Tucker, Elaine Ulman, Susan Valentine and our fellow yoginis, Dorothy Varon, Carol Watchler, Joan Weigele, Reggie Weintraub, Jonnie Wesson, Denis Wood, Chris Wright, Sherry Wright, and Shelly Zimbalist. I have excluded names of people who preferred pseudonyms and whose identities might be revealed if listed here, but I am no less grateful for their contributions.

Writers need feedbackand reality checksalong the way. At the risk of repeating names, I need to thank, in particular, Helen Garfinkle, Jane Stein, and Bonnie Strickland, who (going above and beyond the call of friendship) read most, if not all, of the book in various draft stages. Others who critiqued the proposal and/ or portions of the text include: Russ Bernard, Barbara Biziou, Marilynn Brewer, John Cacioppo, Walter Carl, Sheldon Cohen, Ellen Conser, Connie Evans, Jan Felshin, Edrie Ferdun, Ronda Fingerman, Lois Fisher, Elena Gatti, Bonnie Goebert, Mark Granovetter, Keith Hampton, Bertha Josephson, Margaret Kierstein, Paula de Koenigsberg, Susan Kravitz, Ellen Lefcourt, Carla Messina, Patrice Morhart, Allison Munch-Rotolo, Sue Rubenstein, Sylvia Rubin, Lorena Sol, Sandra Sonn, John Stein, Theo Stites, Elaine Tata, Peggy Thoits, Linda Tucker, Joan Weigele, Reggie Weintraub, and Barry Wellman.