Edward H. Kafka-Gelbrecht - A Big Stink: A Tale of Ardor and Odor

Chiswick (Long Island Colons: Continuity and Change), as well as Jacee Kessels photo essay, Unseen, Unclean. Gentlemen, now whos shooting hoops in his own backyard?! I must also acknowledge Wanda Chang-Diazs The Peoples Guide to Bad Deli and Its Consequences, with its excellent chapter on slipping, unobserved, out the rear door. Thanks also to Nutz Soda, Daubers Fast-Acting Melanchthon tablets, Bob the Security Guard, and Randy Katz. And finally, to my parents: You taught me to hold nothing back, concentrate my efforts, give it my best shot, and, in the end, never be afraid to toot my own horn. Though a long time coming, this pioneering treatise has, I hope, fulfilled your dreams for me. EDWARD H. EDWARD H.

KAFKA-GELBRECHT A huge thank you to my husband: you patiently and lovingly held down the fort as I holed up in my Mediterranean studio breathing life into 100-year-old wheezes. Thank you to my curious and creative children for filling the studio with fresh smells, bright paintings, and peals of laughter. Thank you to my parents who have supported me through all my adventuresfor holding me tightly, for giving me breathing room, for setting me free. Thank you to Dagmar Persson for keeping our egregious effluvia under your hat. Thank you to Sarah Malarkey for offering me first crack at this book, and to Sarah, Danielle Svetcov, and Chloe Rawlins for lighting a fireit's been a gas! (And Edward, as Ive told you many times now: this is my real name.) SOPHIA VINCENT GUY

I admit it.

Really, miss.

I should remind you, sir: He who smelt it, dealt it.

Have you considered that she who denied it, supplied it?

Perhapsbut he who noted it, floated it.

Have you considered that she who denied it, supplied it?

Perhapsbut he who noted it, floated it.

And yet: she who slighted it, ignited it.

He who disowned it, cologned it. She who assumed it, perfumed it.

He who opposed it, composed it. She who debated it, orchestrated it!

He who impugned it, fine-tuned it.

He who declared it, derrired it! She who feared it, reared it! He who inquired, backfired! She who ignored it, backdoored it!

Heavenly God.

She who detected it, ejected it.

She who detected it, ejected it.

Furthermore, she who addressed it, decompressed it!

He who disguised it, catalyzed it. She who recognized it, oxidized it.

He who dodged it, lodged it! She who divined it, signed it!

He who rejected it, confected it! She who shared the news, lit the fuse! He who policed it, released it! She who finessed it, confessed it!