Jonathan Dromgoole - Out to Lead: Shaping Queer Leadership

You have been getting ready for this moment your entire life. You know that after this moment you cant go back. You wont be able to bottle up the words as they flow out of your mouth and gracefully enter the ears of those around you. At least youre hoping it goes like that. After all, theyve supported you before, why would today be any different? In the back of your head, however, you know that these words could just as easily sound like a plate shattering in a crowded restaurantthe kind that not only demands attention but a response. Regardless, there is no turning back. Youre ready. It is your time to come out and step into the spotlight.

Leaders are emerging within the LGBTQ+ community at an unprecedented rate. Not because we are some sort of a novelty making our first appearance onto the scene, but because we are finally harnessing the power of our resilience. From our coming out stories, sense of community, and contributions made throughout history, we have been navigating a world that fails to embrace us and see us as equals. But we have been there every step of the way. They say Rome wasnt built in a day. Well, let me add that it surely wasnt built only by straight Romans. Every society has benefited from the contributions of the LGBTQ+ communities and their leaders. From these trailblazers to those in elected office, pioneering medical advancements, and driving cultural change, it is through stories of resilience that we are becoming the next generation of leaders who are Out toLead!

Resilience is a powerful force, one that is difficult to recognize and even harder to manifest. Google will give you millions of results in under a second when you just type resilience into the all-knowing search engine. In the top ten results, you get a guide from the Mayo Clinic on how to build skills to endure hardship or a roadmap for adapting to life-changing situations and emerging even stronger than before from the American Psychological Association. Hardshipcheck. Life-changing situationscheck. Adaptabilityhave you met a queer person? We will go from out and proud to quiet and suspicious faster than those Google search results.

It is the very resilience we possess, especially the younger generations, that has created a new wave of global leadership. Choosing to run for office and placing your life in the public eye is challenging regardless of whether youre running for class president or president of a country. The challenges of pursuing a life of public service are magnified when youre set to be the historical first member to represent the LGBTQ+ community. So, when Pete Buttigieg, an openly gay millennial Democrat, made his announcement on April 14th, 2019, that he would be seeking the office of President of the United States, the pressure was on. Not only would he potentially bring along an entire generation to the Oval Office, but the LGBTQ+ community too. Even though Mayor Pete did not advance to become President Pete, I wonder to what degree his queerness and coming out process helped develop his resilience.

There is a growing number of leaders coming out, no pun intended, of the LGBTQ+ community, especially in politics. Dubbed the Rainbow Wave (Giardina, 2020), the gut-wrenching, suspenseful, and cathartic US elections season of 2020 has put forth the queerest Congress in history with a total of eleven members of the LGBTQ+ Congressional Caucus (Flores, Gossett 2020). In 2020, more than one-hundred and sixty queer candidates won their elections across the country (Victory Fund, 2021). According to the Victory Institutes Out for America Map, which tracks LGBTQ+ elected officials, there are now close to one thousand out and proud elected officials at all levels of government in almost every state. Well, except Mississippi. Queer Mississippians call me and we can chat on how to fix this.

However, it cant be simply because these candidates are queer that they are winning their elections. Profound levels of discrimination, setbacks, and limitations are often expected when coming out of the closet. Everyone believes that being anything but straight means your life will be hard and that your queerness will be a limiting factor making it almost impossible to achieve your goals and dreams. Many would argue that it is precisely because Pete Buttigieg is a proud gay man that he did not secure the 2020 Democratic Nomination.

When I came out and simultaneously chose to bring in others along for the ride, I was met with a certain hesitation. Almost immediately, I lost friends, but I guess they werent ever really my friends, and was told, I will pray for you. I was, however, fortunate enough to not face overt discrimination from my family and those who mattered most, and I acknowledge the immense privilege in this. Instead, they were afraid that being out would instantly make life harder for me. They feared that going public about my sexuality would close more doors than it would open. They were, luckily, very wrong.

I spent twenty-one years creating a persona: one that would be distracting enough for people to ignore the fact that I was very much gay. I wasnt doing this intentionally every single time, but at some point it became common. From pursuing the most academically rigorous path possible, and to not just joining but leading various extracurricular organizations, I tried to distract everyone, including myself. I wanted to control the spotlight and show the world what I wanted everyone to see. I hid that I was struggling to come to terms with my sexuality in an environment that wasnt welcoming.

Since 2015, I have lived as an out and proud gay Latino/x man and I can truly say, it getsbetter.

All the time I spent in the closet, the struggles I faced coming out to myself, and those I faced coming out to others time and time again have given me the resilience to excel at a pace surpassing that of my straight colleagues. Being LGBTQ+ is a tremendous gift and, frankly, an advantage. Starting at a young age, we are used to having to excel at everything to make sure the focus is on our achievements and not our sexuality, which society overwhelmingly sees as a flaw. Well, let me tell you, even diamonds have flaws and honey, they sparkle. They captivate and are the product of immense pressure and resilience. So, you know what, the LGBTQ+ community is nothing short of the crown jewels. Link us all together and we light up the world with how bright we sparkle and shine.