Alexis Caught - Queer Up: An Uplifting Guide to LGBTQ+ Love, Life and Mental Health

Language, the words we use and how we refer to things changes. Sometimes it changes pretty fast, and sometimes two peoples take on the use of a word will be polar opposites. As I write this book, I am acutely aware that my use of language and the terms used may one day change out of favour and be considered not the right thing to say. What I would say here, is that my own opinion is that we ask WHY are we so focused on the word and not the intent behind it. All words are made up, and are only interpretations of intended meaning. My intended meaning, with any words or phrases I use here, is never malicious, never wishing to leave anyone out, theyre just the best fit that I currently have, but I apologize if anything makes you uncomfortable that is never my intent.

As an example, Im going to use the word queer a lot in this book, a word some people still have issues with. That word was spat at me as a slur (along with others, that I wont be using in these pages) but our community has taken it back, and (in my opinion) it gives us the power. We could bend and agree with any homophobic or transphobic people out there that being queer is a bad thing, or we could say: you know what? I am. We are. And thats our word. And were going to show how BRILLIANT being that word is. Our community has a great history of reclaiming these things (even our rainbow flag has its origins in reclaiming our power from homophobia).

So if anything I say in here offends or upsets you because of my use of language, I wholeheartedly apologize your feelings are valid, if this were a conversation Id apologize and use a different word right away. Unfortunately, the limitations of print mean I cant change it, but know that there is no malice in my intent. Similarly, when (inevitably) some of this book gets outdated and we move beyond some of the things written in here, I also apologize it was the best at the time, and frankly, I cant wait until some stuff Ive said is outdated and weve moved on to better places.

When writing this book I also wanted to partner with Shout a free, confidential and totally non-judgemental text line that you can contact 24/7 to talk about how you feel. Shout is a brilliant charity, staffed by lots of open-minded, caring and compassionate people (I know personally, Im one of the volunteers on the line!) who are available whenever, if ever, you may need a little more support. Just text SHOUT to 85258 to start the conversation (see pages 244245 for more information on Shout).

Breathe.

Just breathe.

Theres a high chance that there are a lot of questions in your head right now, such as:

Phew! Thats a lot of questions, and theres possibly a lot more. Perhaps even, Oh God, what will they think of me if they see me reading this book? So, for now, just breathe. Youre gonna be OK.

In this book, were not always going to be giving you straight answers, or even gay answers. Were here (and I really do mean we, because Ive enlisted a fantastic group of glittering people from all along the queer spectrum to give us their views and share their own life experiences, too) to help you find some of your own answers and navigate through when it all gets confusing. Sure, there will be pearls of wisdom, well share embarrassing mistakes and things we wish wed not gone through so that you dont have to make the same cringe mistakes (youre welcome, btw) and there will be tips and tricks along the way.

But how can I help you? Well, one of the things I do with my time is work in the field of mental health. I talk a lot about feelings and help people figure out why were here and what were doing. But this book is not therapy. And, dont worry, its also not going to be filled with unrealistic suggestions for wellness, such as wafting your nether regions with sage. What I will be sharing, though, is some practical tips for how to hack your head and check in on your emotions (a bit like when I reminded you to breathe just now). Everything is taken from my experience as a therapist and doing crisis intervention keep an eye out for those Looking after you advice and activity sections.