Despentes Virginie - Pretty Things

Table of Contents

Published in 2018 by the Feminist Press

at the City University of New York

The Graduate Center

365 Fifth Avenue, Suite 5406

New York, NY 10016

feministpress.org

First Feminist Press edition 2018

Copyright 1998 by ditions Grasset & Fasquelle

Translation copyright 2018 by Emma Ramadan

Les jolies choses by Virginie Despentes was originally published in France by ditions Grasset & Fasquelle in 1998.

All rights reserved.

This work received support from the French Ministry of Foreign Affairs and the Cultural Services of the French Embassy in the United States through their publishing assistance program.

This book was made possible thanks to a grant from New York State Council on the Arts with the support of Governor Andrew M. Cuomo and the New York State Legislature.

No part of this book may be reproduced, used, or stored in any information retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without prior written permission from the Feminist Press at the City University of New York, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

First printing August 2018

Cover illustration by Molly Crabapple

Cover and text design by Drew Stevens

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Despentes, Virginie, 1969- author. | Ramadan, Emma, translator.

Title: Pretty things / Virginie Despentes; translated by Emma Ramadan.

Other titles: Jolies choses. English

Description: First Feminist Press edition. | New York: Feminist Press, 2018. | Copyright (c) 1998 by Editions Grasset & FasquelleECIP galley. | Identifiers: LCCN 2017056600 (print) | LCCN 2018006832 (ebook) | ISBN 9781936932269 (ebook)

Subjects: LCSH: SistersFiction. | False personationFiction.

Classification: LCC PQ2664.E7895 (ebook) | LCC PQ2664.E7895 J6513 2018 (print) | DDC 843/.914dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2017056600

To

My parents,

Dominique, the empress Caroline,

Hacne & Emil Louis-Stphane,

Nora Hamdi Mehdi, Varouj, Rico,

Tofick Zingo de Lunch & Vartan

CONTENTS

CHTEAU ROUGE. A TERRACE, ON A SIDEWALK, IN the middle of construction. Theyre seated side by side. Claudine is blond, in a short pink dress that seems sensible but leaves some of her chest visible, the perfect doll, meticulously put together. Even her way of slouching, elbows on the table, legs spread out, has something refined about it. Nicolass eyes are very blue, he always looks like hes laughing, about to do something mischievous.

He says, Fuck its nice out.

Yeah, it hurts your eyes.

She forgot her sunglasses at home, she creases her forehead and adds, I feel weird, seriously. Like right now, its burning. She touches her throat and swallows.

Indulging her, Nicolas shrugs his shoulders slightly. If you didnt pop antidepressants like they were candy, youd probably feel better.

She breathes a long sigh, raises her eyebrows.

I dont feel like youre being very supportive.

Likewise. You could even say I feel more fucked now that I know you.

I dont know what youre talking about.

Hes tempted to get angry, point out that she isnt funny, but it stays lodged in his throat and he settles for smiling. The waiter arrives, flings down two coasters and two half-pints on top of them. Impeccable moves. The bubbles rise through the gold in straight, rapid lines. They clink glasses mechanically, exchanging a brief glance. At the next table, a kid makes noise slurping the bottom of his grenadine with a straw.

Nicolas stubs out his unfinished cigarette, really flattens it to make sure it goes out, and declares, Itll never work. Its impossible to mix you two up.

Good one, sweetheart, were only twin sisters.

So how do you explain that I didnt even recognize her when I went to get her at the train station?

Claudine pouts comically, revealing she doesnt get it either.

Nicolas insists, She passed right under my nose, I didnt raise an eyebrow when I saw her. It wasnt until all the passengers cleared out and we found ourselves alone, side by side, that I saw a vague resemblance between you and her.

Maybe youre kind of an idiot. Have to take that into account.

The waiter passes by their table, Nicolas signals for him to bring two more of the same. Then, rubbing his forehead with two fingers, looks into the distance as if he were contemplating the issue. When hes had enough of not talking, he goes off again.

Shes nuts, your sister, totally insane.

Shes just grunge. Compared to the freaks Paris churns out, I find her pretty calm.

Theres no denying it. In the course of an afternoon, I heard her say exactly four words, and they were You can fuck off. You call that calm?

Put yourself in her shoes, shes on the defensive.

What bothers me is that you didnt even warn me. You forgot to tell me lots of things, Im sure.

She tenses, turns her head toward him, and he knows this face, when she loses her composure and becomes downright nasty.

Do you plan on being a pain in the ass all day? If it bothers you, then by all means, dont force yourself. Go home, dont worry about a thing. Well make do without you.

She doesnt leave him time to respond, gets up and goes to the bathroom. The lock is all rusted and falling to pieces, yellow traces of cigarettes like scars on the toilet paper roll. Squat toilet, be careful not to spray your feet too much when you flush.

Chest struck with a strange heaviness, she wants to be somewhere else. Rid of herself. That horrible anxiety is ingrained, it wakes up at the same time as her and doesnt let up until shes had a few beers.

She sits back down next to Nicolas. A girl passes by in a combination of snakeskin and bizarre platform shoes. Farther off, a man yells, Stop, thief! Some people run and others get involved. Elsewhere, a honk, like a foghorn, as if an ocean liner were docking in the neighborhood.

Claudine rummages in her bag, takes out her cash and spreads it on the table, announcing, No tips for assholes, that guy pisses me off.

The waiter? Whatd he do to you?

He doesnt even try. He sucks.

She pockets the pack of cigarettes and the lighter, concludes dryly, So will you go with her or not?

I told you Id do it, so Ill do it.

Great. Lets go?

She has a slightly satisfied glimmer in her eye. She gets up and waits for him, then in a relieved tone, I love it when it starts to get hot out, dont you?

Nicolas and Claudine have known each other for a while now.

The day she came to live in Paris. She remembers like it was yesterday. Decision made without any planning, she was talking to a girl on the phone, listed off their friends to bitch about them. She heard herself say, Anyway, Im taking off, Im going to Paris, I dont want this life anymore, where tomorrow never means anything. And, hanging up, realized that she was really going to do it; they werent empty words.

Filled a bag, this and that, whatever, the stuff people bring. Line at the ticket counter, first-class ticket even though she barely had a dime, for the symbolism; she wasnt going to arrive there like a fucking piece of trash. A little girl wouldnt leave her alonePor favor, madame, por favorClaudine looked at her, said no, but the little girl didnt let up, followed her all the way to the escalator. Por favor... sil vous plat.