Marianne Thamm - I Have Life: Alisons Journey as told to Marianne Thamm

Published by Penguin Books
an imprint of Penguin Random House South Africa (Pty) Ltd
Reg. No. 1953/000441/07
The Estuaries No. 4, Oxbow Crescent, Century Avenue, Century City, 7441
PO Box 1144, Cape Town, 8000, South Africa

www.penguinbooks.co.za

First published 2008
This edition published in 2016

Copyright Alison Botha 1998

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the copyright owners.

ISBN 978 1 77609 116 4 (print)
ISBN 978 1 77609 120 1 (ePub)

Contents

Message from Alison

This book is for all those people who have felt like a victim at some time in their lives a victim of circumstances, trauma or crime. I dedicate this book to you and urge you to believe in the strength that is within each one of us the strength to choose to become victors.

My heartfelt thanks:

To so many wonderful people my special friends and the many others, some of whom I know and many whom I dont know who have taken me and my loved ones into their hearts through what happened to me. The collective power of your love has had a profound impact on my life.

To Tiaan for saving my life. To Doctor Angelov for repairing my life. To Melvin for restoring my life. You are the true heroes.

To Penguin Books and MTN for believing in this project and making this book a reality.

To Marianne for your commitment to telling my story how I needed it told. For your time, thought and talent in writing this book so beautifully; and to Glynis your support made it possible.

To my family to Mom, for teaching me to believe that there is greatness within me; to Dad for your faith and pride in me, and to Neale and Ronwyn for your love and your family.

To Tienie for your quiet strength, your unconditional love and your consistent support. Thank you for reminding and showing me that when we break through the clouds, the sun is always shining up there.

To God for carrying me when there was only one set of footprints.

Acknowledgements

In many lives it is the beginnings that are most significant: the first steps, though seemingly effaced, leave their imprint on everything else that follows. So wrote American philosopher, writer, social commentator and architectural critic Lewis Mumford (1895-1990), one of my favourite authors.

Alisons beginnings start with her mother Claire, both literally and figuratively. When I first met Alison about three years ago I was struck by the close bond between them, so close in fact that it was one of the reasons Alison decided she did not want to die as she lay seriously injured in the bush after the rape and attack. It was love that urged her on, it was love that helped her survive.

I wondered then how many other people who had found themselves in the same situation had loved someone enough, or were loved enough by someone, to do battle with death itself? Such is its power.

I believe much of who Alison is today has to do with Claire, the manner in which she raised both her children and the unconditional love she gave them as they grew up.

Their close bond reminded me of my own beginning and my mother Barbara Maria Thamm, who died on November 3, 1997. I too was blessed to have had a mother who would have fought a bull for me and who believed that I could accomplish anything I set my mind to. Because of her unwavering belief in me, I began to believe in myself. Every child who is privileged to have that sort of beginning will leave an imprint, no matter how small, on everything else that follows. I would like then to honour my mothers memory in dedicating this book to her.

I would also like to thank Alison for allowing me into her life and for being such an inspiration to myself and so many others. Ali, your strength and determination helped me through many nights while writing your remarkable story. Thank you also to Tienie for all your gentle support. Thank you to Jane Raphaely for giving me wings and for planting the seed in the first place. Thanks to the Ponton family for the use of their house where I escaped the bustle of Cape Town to write this book. And lastly, a deep thank you to my partner Glynis for her love, tolerance, support and understanding.

Marianne Thamm

Foreword

IN A TIME and place where violence against women had become pandemic, one woman, still recovering from atrocious wounds to her soul and body, said I will not let them take my life away.

It was as if I had been waiting for someone to say this. The young woman who did was called Alison. She was South African and until that moment had only been remarkable in that when in trouble, other people always reached out to her, a quality inherited from her mother who had instilled in her the need to hold your head high under any circumstances.

Alisons warcry inspired Femina to institute a Woman of Courage Award and she became the first recipient. We sent Marianne Thamm to Port Elizabeth to interview her. She was one of the toughest journalists on our team and we knew that not only would she not flinch from a horrific story but that also she had the heart to gain the trust and confidence of someone who was in a shattered and still traumatic state.

This was the beginning of a remarkable relationship between the magazine and a heroine who the whole country would take to its collective heart. The actual award had to take place on a Saturday morning and we anticipated a poor turnout from the rest of the press. They turned out in strength and when she spoke, even the most jaundiced of eyes filled with tears.

Alisons story reflected a triumphant spirit and an unquenched love of life. This set the tone for the journey that would follow as more and more people called on her to comfort and inspire them. She became the symbol of the survival of the human spirit in South Africa. The golden dove of peace which sculptor Stella Magni had given her as part of the award and which she wore everywhere she spoke sent its own message. Like Nelson Mandela, her most impressive attribute was a complete lack of bitterness.

When Alison married Tienie in Knysna, Marianne and I were honoured to be asked and incredibly happy to be there. It was not just that she had found such a good man and that it was such a golden day. It was because when women are violated in their innermost souls it stays with them, sometimes for ever. But on that day, as Alisons remarkable mother said, it wasnt as if it had never happened but it was as if it didnt matter any longer. In fact the brutal attack and rape were hardly referred to.

In the most vital sense Alisons attackers had ceased to exist because she had risen far above them and gone past the darkness they represented.

That meant that it was time for her to write her book. Despite everything, a book remains the most permanent and valuable testament a person can leave for future generations. Alisons message must travel the world and go into the libraries of a new millennium. To find the words which will make it into a great book she needed a partner in the project.

Who better than Marianne who had chronicled the first in-depth account and, finally, the story of her love and marriage?

Together, Alison, Tienie and Marianne have produced a book which is a beacon and a beautiful read. The story it tells is unforgettable and the hope that it gives is invaluable. It celebrates a life which was reclaimed, which no one could take away. Alison has given us back our courage too.