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Peter McArthur - The Red Cow and Her Friends

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THE RED COW AND HER FRIENDS By PETER McARTHUR AUTHOR OF IN PASTURES GREEN - photo 1


THE RED COW
AND HER FRIENDS
By PETER McARTHUR
AUTHOR OF "IN PASTURES GREEN," "THE PRODIGAL AND
OTHER POEMS," "TO BE TAKEN WITH SALT," ETC.
TORONTO: J. M. DENT & SONS, Ltd.
NEW YORK: JOHN LANE COMPANY
MCMXIX
Title page
COPYRIGHT, 1919,
By JOHN LANE COMPANY
Press of
J. J. Little & Ives Company
New York, U. S. A.
THIS BOOK
IS DEDICATED
TO ALL CITY MEN
WHO FEEL SURE THAT THEY
COULD FARM AT A PROFIT.
IF EACH ONE BUYS A COPY I CAN
AFFORD TO KEEP ON FARMING

PREFACE
It is always a pleasure to avoid responsibility and it gives me a feeling of relief to be able to announce that I am not wholly responsible for this collection of sketches. When it was suggested that I should put together the articles dealing with the Red Cow, and the other farm animals, I felt reluctant to trouble the public with a somewhat frivolous book at the present time. It seemed as if Fate were with me for when it was decided to go on with the book it was found that my file of clippings had been lost. But the matter was still urged and, remembering that at different times readers had written to me saying that they were in the habit of clipping the articles for future reference, I published a paragraph telling of my predicament. The result was that I received clippings from all parts of Canada and some were even sent from neighbouring States.
Through the kindness of my unknown friends I am able to offer a book which they have really edited. Some of the sketches used would have been rejected had I relied on my own judgment, but finding that they had pleased some readers I decided that they might please others. Having the chance to shift the responsibility for the book from my own shoulders, I accepted it joyously. The unknown friends who did me the honour of preserving these articles as they appeared are the real editors.
I can further plead in extenuation that the clippings I have used were all sent to me by people who are familiar with the domestic animals and their habits. This should protect me from any charge of farm-faking.
Ekfrid, Ontario, January, 1919.

CONTENTS
COWS
PAGE
A Sick Cow15
Cow Troubles22
Fly Time26
The Red Cow's Calves29
Insurgent Cows31
Cow Troubles36
The Bran Habit42
The Farrow Cow and Others43
Cow Enjoyment50
Cow Kaiserism52
A Night Session55
A Calf Puzzle58
Cow Character61
Calf Feeding63
A Cow Trick66
Cow Cussedness72
Teaching a Calf75
Calf Exuberance77
SHEEP
Our First Sheep83
The First Lamb90
Sheep Surgery93
The Patient98
Shearing100
Vain Regrets104
Sheep Sculpture106
Our Lawn Mower113
PIGS
Clementine117
Feeding Pigs121
Beatrice124
Pig Frightfulness128
A Pig Bath130
In Extenuation132
Beatrice Announces134
Receiving137
Feeding Time140
Beatrice Belligerent144
HORSES
Dolly's Day Off147
The Colt154
Horse Contrariness156
A Great Scheme158
TURKEYS
The Gobbler163
His Troubles167
His Desertion169
His Belligerency171
His Cares173
His Prussianism175
DOGS
A Moral Tale179
Sheppy's First Coon Hunt181
A Rabbit Chase189
Fights and Feuds192
CATS
A Page of High History197
A Spring Orgy200
BIRDS
A Disgusted Blackbird205
A Visitor209
A Farewell211
GENERAL
The Whole Bunch215
Human Nature in Dumb Creatures221
Early Observations227
Bantams232
A Little Tragedy234
A Scientific Query236
A Poultry Note238
Spring and the Livestock240
First Snow242
A "Skift" of Snow244
A Spring Shower247
Doing Chores249
Fishing251
A Lonesome Squirrel255
Fall Poultry Troubles258
Thanksgiving Day263
September Notes270
The Demon Rabbit273
The Fate of "The Demon Rabbit"278
My Friends, the Trees282


COWS

A BALLADE OF COWS
Fenceviewer I. a cow of parts,
Aggressive, competent and bold,
At every milking gives twelve quarts
And doesn't give ahoot!(don't scold!)
My Kerry cow, as good as gold;
Fenceviewer II.(boss, they say)
La Veau, turned three; Beans, two-year-old
These are the cows I milk each day!
When Phbus shoots his morning darts,
Or wet or dry, or hot or cold,
One to the dewy pasture starts
With clanging pails and pants up-rolled.
Again when evening doth enfold
The earth and sky in twilight grey,
Him at that chore you may behold
These are the cows I milk each day!
Although unskilled in dairy arts
I've soaked some lore by experts doled,
With gentle words that win their hearts
My cows from kicking I've cajoled;
And of all cattle, horned or polled,
Pure-bred or grade, own them who may,
Mine suit me best. They'll not be sold
These are the cows I milk each day!
ENVOY
Prince, if you ever in the wold
At milking time should chance to stray,
I'll let you drink all you can hold
These are the cows I milk each day!
I.A Sick Cow
This week the monotony of the winter has been broken. I have been sitting up with a sick cow. Fenceviewer I. has suffered the first check in her career of rapacity, voracity and capacity. A couple of days ago it was noticed that she was off her feedthat she only nibbled at the blue grass when it was put in her manger. Knowing that in her normal condition she is an incarnate appetite"A belly that walks on four legs"I knew that something was the matter. I could not imagine her refusing to eat until Death had "clawed her in his clutch," so I took the matter seriously from the beginning. I also noticed that she did not take kindly to water, but stood over it and shivered. There was no doubt about it. She was a sick cow. After a hasty consultation it was decided to give her a dose of salts, and I commandeered all that we had in the housealmost a pound. After it had been dissolved in about a quart of warm water I took some further advice and added to it, for her stomach's sake, a couple of tablespoonfuls of a sovereign liniment and embrocation, good for man and beast, and paramount for poultry, a remedy for all ills that any kind of flesh is heir to, may be used internally or externally at any time of the day or night without regard to the phases of the moon or the signs in the almanac. All I know about this remedy is that it is a red fluid made of red pepper, red whiskey and all the other red-hot things in the Pharmacopia. It is the stuff that was once given to an ailing coloured woman, and when she was offered a second dose she declared with vigour, "No thankee! Ah've done made up ma mind never again to take nuttin' that wattah won't squench." Having added this mixture to the salts I put it in a quart bottle, called for help, and proceeded to put the red dose into the red cow.
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