Kelly Link - Get in Trouble: Stories

Frans daddy woke her up wielding a mister. Fran, he said, spritzing her like a wilted houseplant. Fran, honey. Wakey wakey.

Fran had the flu, except it was more like the flu had Fran. In consequence of this, shed laid out of school for three days in a row. The previous night, shed taken four NyQuil caplets and gone to sleep on the couch while a man on the TV threw knives. Her head was stuffed with boiled wool and snot. Her face was wet with watered-down plant food. Hold up, she croaked. Im awake! She began to cough, so hard she had to hold her sides. She sat up.

Her daddy was a dark shape in a room full of dark shapes. The bulk of him augured trouble. The sun wasnt out from behind the mountain yet, but there was a light in the kitchen. There was a suitcase, too, beside the door, and on the table a plate with a mess of eggs. Fran was starving.

Her daddy went on. Ill be gone some time. A week or three. Not more. Youll take care of the summer people while Im gone. The Robertses come up this weekend. Youll need to get their groceries tomorrow or next day. Make sure you check the expiration date on the milk when you buy it, and put fresh sheets on all the beds. Ive left the house schedule on the counter and there should be enough gas in the car to make the rounds.

Wait, Fran said. Every word hurt. Where are you going? He sat down on the couch beside her, then pulled something out from under him. He showed her what he held: one of Frans old toys, the monkey egg. Now, you know I dont like these. I wish youd put em away.

Theres lots of stuff I dont like, Fran said. Where you off to?

Prayer meeting in Miami. Found it on the Internet, her daddy said. He shifted on the couch, put a hand against her forehead, so cool and soothing it made her eyes leak. You dont feel near so hot right now.

I know you need to stay here and look after me, Fran said. Youre my daddy.

Now, how can I look after you if Im not right? he said. You dont know the things Ive done.

Fran didnt know but she could guess. You went out last night, she said. You were drinking.

Im not talking about last night, he said. Im talking about a lifetime.

That is Fran said, and then began to cough again. She coughed so long and so hard she saw bright stars. Despite the hurt in her ribs, and despite the truth that every time she managed to suck in a good pocket of air, she coughed it right back out again, the NyQuil made it all seem so peaceful, her daddy might as well have been saying a poem. Her eyelids were closing. Later, when she woke up, maybe he would make her breakfast.

Any come around, you tell em Im gone on ahead. Ary man tells you he knows the hour or the day, Fran, that mans a liar or a fool. All a man can do is be ready.

He patted her on the shoulder, tucked the counterpane up around her ears. When she woke again, it was late afternoon and her daddy was long gone. Her temperature was 102.3. All across her cheeks, the plant mister had left a red, raised rash.

On Friday, Fran went back to school. Breakfast was a spoon of peanut butter and dry cereal. She couldnt remember the last time shed eaten. Her cough scared off the crows when she went down to the county road to catch the school bus.

She dozed through three classes, including calculus, before having such a fit of coughing the teacher sent her off to see the nurse. The nurse, she knew, was liable to call her daddy and send her home. This might have presented a problem, but on the way to the nurses station, Fran came upon Ophelia Merck at her locker.

Ophelia Merck had her own car, a Lexus. She and her family had been summer people, except now they lived in their house up at Horse Cove on the lake all year round. Years ago, Fran and Ophelia had spent a summer of afternoons playing with Ophelias Barbies while Frans father smoked out a wasps nest, repainted cedar siding, tore down an old fence. They hadnt really spoken since then, though once or twice after that summer, Frans father brought home paper bags full of Ophelias hand-me-downs, some of them still with the price tags.

Fran eventually went through a growth spurt, which put a stop to that; Ophelia was still tiny, even now. And far as Fran could figure, Ophelia hadnt changed much in most other ways: pretty, shy, spoiled, and easy to boss around. The rumor was her familyd moved full-time to Robbinsville from Lynchburg after a teacher caught Ophelia kissing another girl in the bathroom at a school dance. It was either that or Mr. Merck being up for malpractice, which was the other story, take your pick.

Ophelia Merck, Fran said. I need you to come with me to see Nurse Tannent. Shes going to tell me to go home. Ill need a ride.

Ophelia opened her mouth and closed it. She nodded.

Frans temperature was back up again, at 102. Tannent even wrote Ophelia a note to go off campus.

I dont know where you live, Ophelia said. They were in the parking lot, Ophelia searching for her keys.

Take the county road, Fran said. 129. Ophelia nodded. Its up a ways on Wild Ridge, past the hunting camps. She lay back against the headrest and closed her eyes. Oh, hell. I forgot. Can you take me by the convenience first? I have to get the Robertses house put right.

I guess I can do that, Ophelia said.

At the convenience, Fran picked up milk, eggs, whole-wheat sandwich bread, and cold cuts for the Robertses, Tylenol and more NyQuil for herself, as well as a can of frozen orange juice, microwave burritos, and Pop-Tarts. On the tab, she told Andy.

I hear your pappy got himself into trouble the other night, Andy said.

That so, Fran said. He went down to Florida yesterday morning. He said he needs to get right with God.

God aint who your pappy needs to get on his good side, Andy said.

Fran pressed her hand against her burning eye. Whats he done?

Nothing that cant be fixed with the application of some greaze and good manners, Andy said. You tell him well see tot when he come back.

Half the time her daddy got to drinking, Andy and Andys cousin Ryan were involved, never mind it was a dry county. Andy kept all kinds of liquor out back in his van for everwho wanted it and knew to ask. The good stuff came from over the county line, in Andrews. The best stuff, though, was the stuff Frans daddy made. Everyone said that Frans daddys brew was too good to be strictly natural. Which was true. When he wasnt getting right with God, Frans daddy got up to all kinds of trouble. Frans best guess was that, in this particular situation, hed promised to supply something that God was not now going to let him deliver. Ill tell him you said so.

Ophelia was looking over the list of ingredients on a candy wrapper, but Fran could tell she was interested. When they got back into the car Fran said, Just because youre doing me a favor dont mean you need to know my business.

Okay, Ophelia said.

Okay, Fran said. Good. Now mebbe you can take me by the Robertses place. Its over on

I know where the Robertses house is, Ophelia said. My mom played bridge over there all last summer.

The Robertses hid their spare key under a fake rock just like everybody else. Ophelia stood at the door like she was waiting to be invited in. Well, come on, Fran said.

There wasnt much to be said about the Robertses house. There was an abundance of plaid, and everywhere Toby Jugs and statuettes of dogs pointing, setting, or trotting along with birds in their gentle mouths.