John J. Prendergast PhD - In touch : how to tune in to the inner guidance of your body and trust yourself

To my special beloveds, Christiane and James
and
my teachers who illumined the way, Jean Klein and Adyashanti

contents

FOREWORD

by rick hanson, phd

Somewhere between conception and birth, inside the womb of your mother, you began to have an embodied sense of living: the feeling of your heart beating, of pressure against your skin, of discomfort and its relief. It has been said that ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny: the development of a human embryo contains within it the evolution of the human species. First and foremost, every animaleven the simplest wormneeds to know whats going on inside its body. Are the internal organs working? Is there hunger or thirst? Does anything hurt?

The internal sensing of the bodycontinually tracking whats happening in hereevolved long before the hearing and seeing that tell us about the world out there. The neural architecture of this sensing is ancient and fundamental, and during your own development in utero, it was the basis for your very first experiencesand the first glimmerings of consciousness.

Because the state of the body is so fundamental to raw survival, most of the information entering your brain comes from the skin inward. This flow of information and related experiences brings a primal, embodied feeling of being, as Antonio Damasio puts it. Meanwhileboth when you were still in the womb and then after your birththere was a dawning awareness of an environment out there that moved and changed in ways distinct from the feeling of being in here. Repeated experiences of this difference between out there and in here gradually built up a core senseinitially entirely nonverbalof this-here-ness, me-ness, identity.

In sum, your embodied experience of livingbeing in touch with yourself, as John Prendergast explores in this important bookis the fundamental basis for both consciousness and the sense of self.

Of course, this word self is a tricky one, and I mean it here as a particular body-mind processas a personwithout presuming that there exists a stable, unified entity somewhere inside looking out through the eyes. The common assumption in Western philosophy, psychology, and culture that there is such an I inside everyone is the source of much needless suffering and harm as we try to hold on, as this I, to inherently impermanent experiences, glamorize and glorify it (look at me!), try to shield it from lifes ups and downs, and take life personally. To be sure, resilience and well-being as a person support insight into the transient, compounded, insubstantial, empty nature of the apparent me-myself-and-I. One of the great strengths of Dr. Prendergasts approach is his balanced emphasis on both an opening in to an intimacy with this bodys streaming of consciousness and an opening out to the sense of this streaming as no more than a momentary and local expression of the vast web of human culture, nature, and material realityand of mysteries that transcend all of these.

Like other great teachers, the Buddha was interested in what was true, but he was more interested in what helped. In the same way, this book draws us into an intimacy with what is true about our experiencing; this felt clarity is interesting and illuminating in its own right, but more importantly, it is useful. It is useful for anyone, but especially for those who teach, raise, coach, or counsel others. We learn how to attune to four major ways to recognize when we are in touch with ourselves: relaxed groundedness, inner alignment, open-heartedness, and spaciousness. With many experiential practices, specific methods, and tools for working with others, In Touch is that rare book combining both profound understanding and practical, down-to-earth benefits.

Ive known John Prendergast for many years as his colleague, friend, and student. He is truly a master of his craft. Drawing upon neuroscience, clinical tools, nondual wisdom teachings, and his own genuine realization, he has pulled together the lessons of a lifetime in this extraordinary book. I commend it to your hands and to your heart.

INTRODUCTION

in touch with your inner knowing

Kelly and I had met for a number of sessions before. Today, after checking in briefly, we settled into a soft, noneffortful, meditative gazing and deep silence together. We both trusted that whatever needed attention would naturally arise.

Kelly had recently been rear-ended by a speeding van as she slowed for a pedestrian on a crosswalk. As a result of this serious accident, she had a number of physical symptoms, including neck pain and periodic migraine headaches. After a few minutes of sitting with me, she felt a knot of tension in her solar plexus. As she sensed into it, she wondered if there was some unconscious psychological reason she had had two fairly serious car accidents in the past year.

Several of my friends have suggested this, she said. But maybe its just that shit happens?

Ah, self-doubt, I responded. It is true that things happen for unknown reasons. Yet what is important is how we are with them, whether we create stories around them or not.

I didnt realize that this was self-doubt, but I can see that this is what it is. Yes, I can see that this belief that Im somehow creating these accidents is related to my early Christian upbringing that Im being punished for doing something wrong. I can sense that this isnt true.

As this understanding came to Kelly, the knot of tension quickly dissolved and was replaced by a feeling of deep relaxation and openness. We then shared a palpable sense of being together in presenceindividual, distinct, yet not essentially separate.

Internal body tension is often directly related to a conscious or subconscious limiting belief that we hold. A willingness to sense and feel a contraction, as well as to investigate the truth of an associated belief, allows the tension to transform and dissolve over time. Something in Kelly could sense the falsehood of her belief and could feel what was true for her, allowing her to return to her original openness. Kelly sensed her sensations, felt her feelings, questioned her beliefs, and eventually rested in and as her natural awareness.

What is this sense of inner knowing that Kelly experienced? We have all probably experienced it at some time or anothersomething just feels on or off the mark inside of us. It has been called many things: the small, still voice; a felt sense; intuition; heart or whole-body wisdom; somatic intelligence; a hunch; or a gut feeling. In Eastern contemplative traditions, it is called prajna.

Our inner knowing may be fleeting or quietly persistent, and it is more sensation than thought. We feel it somewhere deep inside of ourselvesoften in the heart area or the belly. It doesnt explain or justify itself. It is frequently unbidden and unexpected. It can be deeply reassuring and soothing, or on occasion, it can be very unwelcome, rocking the boat, making waves, and turning our life upside down. Sometimes we may not want to know what we knowthe truth can be very inconvenient. It can end marriages, friendships, and careers and disrupt families, spiritual communities, and governments. It is also very liberating to live in accord with this truth. It is a two-edged knife that cuts us out of our comfort zone and opens us to life as it is.

This book will help you recognize your own natural sense of inner knowing by showing you how to listen to your body for guidance and then follow it. Getting in touch with your inner knowing is a process of unlearning, letting go, and deeply attuning with yourself in a new way. It can help you navigate lifes challenges more gracefully, authentically, and intimately. It can also help you discover who you really are.