Furness-Smith - Introducing Well-being: A Practical Guide

Published in the UK and USA
in 2015 by Icon Books Ltd,
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ISBN: 978-184831-796-3

Text copyright 2015 Patricia Furness-Smith

The author has asserted her moral rights.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form, or by any
means, without prior permission in writing from the publisher.

Typeset in Avenir by Marie Doherty

Printed and bound in the UK by Clays Ltd, St Ives plc

About the author

Patricia Furness-Smith is a psychologist and accredited practitioner with 25 years of experience in clinical practice. She has lectured and trained in psychology, psychotherapy and psychopathology for a wide variety of institutions. She is a Fellow of the Chartered Institution of Educational Assessors (CIEA), a Fellow of the Institute for Learning (IfL) and a Fellow of the National Counselling Society (NCS). In addition, she is a member of the British Association for the Person-Centred Approach (BAPCA) and the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP).

As well as running her own private practice, she is a clinical supervisor, moderator, examiner, reviewer, validator, magistrate, freelance writer and consultant on British Airways Flying with Confidence courses. She is the co-author of Flying with Confidence: The Proven Programme to Fix your Flying Fears and sole author of the guided relaxation CD of the same title. Her particular specialisms are in relationships, eating disorders and phobias. She has recently published Introducing Overcoming Phobias: A Practical Guide and Introducing Overcoming Problem Eating: A Practical Guide.

She enjoys an international reputation as a specialist in hodophobia (the fear of travelling). She is often quoted in the media and has appeared in national and foreign newspapers and magazines and on radio, television and social media sites.

Authors note

Its important to note that there is much frequently used research within the various fields under discussion in this book. Where I am able to cite the source I have done so, but my sincere apologies to the originators of any material if I have overlooked them within this book.

Furthermore, in order to respect client privacy and anonymity within the case studies described, I have formed composite characters by scrambling personal details and changing names.

In addition, if you have any medical condition, it is always important to check with your GP whether the various exercises described within this book are appropriate for you.

Dedication

The most beautiful soul I ever met.

Alex Carington

This book is dedicated to Buffy, an individual of such singular inner beauty and loveliness that even the brightest celestial body in our firmament is eclipsed by her sheer brilliance.

May we aspire to follow her example and be ready to live with an open and loyal heart, acknowledging that our greatest treasures are not what we possess but our loving relationships with one another, be they family, friends or even strangers.

Let us be willing to be moved by the simple things in life, such as the foolish antics of a puppy chasing its tail, sitting with dear friends around a campfire or relishing the smell of newly baked chocolate croissants, just begging to be eaten.

If we can imbibe her innate wisdom by truly recognizing the meaning of life, that is, embracing every opportunity offered with fearlessness, optimism and humour, we can learn to be vibrantly alive. To Buffy every day was a special day; living in the moment was her trademark.

Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand and melting like a snowflake.

Sir Francis Bacon

Buffys example has been a lesson to so many that the secret of fulfilment and positive well-being is to be steadfastly true to oneself, never sheltering behind guises or needing endorsement from others. This she did with effortless grace, authenticity and integrity never marching to anyone elses drum, no matter what the consequences.

In short, Buffy comprehended the meaning of contentment by being grateful for both the minutiae and the epic moments of life. Her inimitable brand of obstinate optimism put even Pollyanna in the shade. No smile, laughter, friend, challenge or experience was wasted upon her. To Buffy, life was a big adventure, which she sprinted out to meet, embracing it with arms wide open. As William Wallace so poignantly and tragically observed: Every man dies, not every man really lives. This charge could never be levied at Buffy, who from a tender age had mastered the art of living. I stand in awe of her insight, loveliness and energy and am totally humbled and grateful for all the love and inspiration she gave so unstintingly.

She walked the talk, which you will find within these pages, and left in her wake a trail of love, joy and happiness. She also personified the expression a sight for sore eyes, since just a glimpse of her infectious smile made even the most dispirited and disaffected among us feel restored, invigorated and hopeful.

Buffys favourite saying and the code by which she lived was:

Its not the years in your life that count but the life in your years.

How utterly privileged I am, that you are my daughter.

Preface

We live longer than our forefathers, but we suffer more from a thousand artificial anxieties and cares. They fatigued only the muscles; we exhaust the finer strength of the nerves.

Edward George Bulwer-Lytton

For the past 25 years I have worked with numerous clients who have suffered from a wide range of issues, which have caused them untold distress. My experience has taught me that regardless of the affliction, for example depression or alcoholism, the disease, dysfunction, dissonance, disconnection call it what you will is merely a manifestation of something that is not working within their life, resulting in a sense of negative well-being. So I am delighted to be writing this book, which provides the antidote to becoming a candidate for such suffering. It is a little known fact that your sense of well-being is largely in your own hands. This book will help you not only to recognize this reality but will also provide you with the necessary tools to maximize your potential, enabling you to achieve positive well-being, a vital component of a contented and fulfilled life.

So if you wish to augment your state of positive well-being, improve your physical health and increase your resilience to falling prey to mental illness, then this is the book for you. Few of us have been left unscathed by the impact of poor physical or mental health, be it via personal

experience or knowing someone close to us who has suffered from either, or both, of these types of health concerns.