John P. Forsyth - Anxiety Happens: 52 Ways to Find Peace of Mind

There are fifty-two weeks in the year, and fifty-two nuggets of gold glinting in this short book. You dont have to climb to the top of a mountain to find your guru: John Forsyth and Georg Eifert are sitting, figuratively speaking, right in this book. They guide you through well-tested, poignant exercises and mind changers for stopping anxiety from interfering with the life you want to live. And they talk to you the way they suggest you talk to yourself: with compassion, openness, acceptance, and wisdom.

Ian M. Evans, FRSNZ , professor emeritus of psychology at Massey University, New Zealand; and author of How and Why People Change

Forsyth and Eifert have written a rare book, which combines solid scholarship, enormously practical tools, and an overflowing heart. Anxiety is pervasive, perhaps these days more than ever. To find a deep sense of confidence and inner peace, I highly recommend this book.

Rick Hanson, PhD , New York Times bestselling author of Resilient

Anxiety Happens is a gem of a book. It reads like a gentle journey with a wise and caring guide. The highly expert authors guide you every step of the way, as you develop the willingness, self-compassion, and wisdom needed to embrace the fullness of a life well lived. Its just excellent.

Dennis Tirch, PhD , author of The Compassionate-Mind Guide to Overcoming Anxiety

John and Georg have done it again: this is now their third superb book for radically transforming the way we respond to anxiety. In fifty-two bite-sized chapters, theyll show you a wide variety of simple yet powerful ways to powerfully change your relationship with fear, anxiety, and insecurity in all their different forms. Youll learn not just how to disarm anxiety, but how to actively utilize it to build a rich and meaningful life. If you want to get past your blocks and barriers, develop a deep sense of inner security, and do those important things that really scare youthis is the book for you!

Russ Harris , author of The Happiness Trap

Publishers Note

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.

Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books

Copyright 2018 by John P. Forsyth and Georg H. Eifert

New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

5674 Shattuck Avenue

Oakland, CA 94609

www.newharbinger.com

Cover design by Amy Shoup; Acquired by Tesilya Hanauer; Edited by Kristi Hein

All Rights Reserved

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Forsyth, John P., 1965- author. | Eifert, Georg H., 1952- author.

Title: Anxiety happens : 52 ways to find peace of mind / John P. Forsyth, PhD, and Georg H. Eifert, PhD.

Description: Oakland, CA : New Harbinger Publications, Inc., [2018]

Identifiers: LCCN 2017044311 (print) | LCCN 2017050888 (ebook) | ISBN 9781684031115 (PDF e-book) | ISBN 9781684031122 (ePub) | ISBN 9781684031108 (pbk. : alk. paper)

Subjects: LCSH: Anxiety--Treatment--Popular works. | Meditation--Therapeutic use.

Classification: LCC RC531 (ebook) | LCC RC531 .F669 2018 (print) | DDC 616.85/2206--dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2017044311

For my wife, Jamie: your enduring love and support have turned darkness into light and have made all things possible. I love you! And for the many people who struggle with anxiety and fear: this book is a testament to your courage, strength, and basic goodness.

JPF

For my wife, Diana: I am grateful and truly blessed that we can share our paths toward fulfillment with love, humor, and joywe know that all possibilities are within us. And for my teachers, different ones at different times: without your inspiration I would not be where I am today.

GHE

Contents

Acknowledgments

The seeds of this book were planted several years ago when Catharine Myersour associate publisher at New Harbinger and a longtime friendencouraged us to share our collective wisdom, teachings, and exercises that over the years weve found to be of enormous benefit to so many people who struggle with anxiety. Catherine has supported us tirelessly through many writing projects for well over a decade, including inspiring us to write this book. We deeply appreciate her friendship and wise counsel, along with her creative spirit and editorial skills. Thank you!

We would also like to thank our copy editor, Kristi Hein, for her tireless and masterful editing. The book you have in your hands is better than it was because of Kristis gentle touch and astute suggestions during the editing process.

And finally, we would like to thank you, the reader, for having enough faith in us to pick up this book and see what it may offer you. Know that you are not walking alone and you have everything you need to thrive when anxiety happens. We wish you much peace and joy on your life journey!

Introduction

We live in an age of anxiety. Its an experience shared by millions of people on this planet. You may know what its like. You feel it. You think it. You may confront it from the moment you wake up until you go to sleep at night. Even then, sleep may offer no comfort.

Theres no escaping this simple truth. Anxiety has been with us for as long as we know. Our ancestors needed it to survive. We need it too. But in our modern industrialized world, few of us are facing down predators on a daily basis. Still, many experience anxiety and fear daily, and, in a way, it can feel like being followed by a hungry lion wherever you go. Over time, anxiety can strip away your passion and zest for life. And it can literally take over your life and become your life. Its bad enough just to have anxiety. But when it begins to rob you of your freedom, you have a problem with anxiety. Yet it doesnt have to be this way.

This little book offers fifty-two ways to break free from the snares, the traps, and all the false hopes and promises that anxiety and fear set for you. Like a child throwing a tantrum, anxiety forces itself into our awareness and can deplete our energy, resources, and resolve. It screams, Pay attention to me or else! It makes it seem like your life is at stake. But the biggest or else message is this: You wont be happy, so long as you feel anxious or afraid. This is a natural setup for endless struggle. Anxiety is no longer an emotion that can be felt and experienced. Anxiety is now a problem that must be overcome before you can have the kind of life you so desperately want. Yet it doesnt have to be this way either.

The Struggle Is Costly

Ancient wisdom and modern science teach us that anxiety and fear are two of many unpleasant emotions that all human beings will experience as long as theyre alive. In fact, you wouldnt be reading this book without them. But the struggle with anxiety is different. It is the source of great hardship and painand it is mostly unnecessary. This is important to understand.

Often, when anxiety and fear show up, we see them as the enemy. We harden, shut down, and withdraw. Naturally, then, we want to struggle to bury them, fight them, or run away from them. Meanwhile, the clock is ticking. Moments spent struggling to feel less anxious or afraid add up, and the cumulative effort starts to take its toll. If you allow this to go unchecked, you may find yourself one day looking back and facing the worst kind of painthe pain of missed opportunities and regrets.