Dzigar Kongtrul - Training in Tenderness: Buddhist Teachings on Tsewa, the Radical Openness of Heart That Can Change the World

A warm and affectionate heart frees us from whatever binds us and connects us empathetically with all beings. This simple yet life-changing attitude makes our own life meaningful and has the power to heal the world. I strongly encourage anyone who encounters Kongtrul Rinpoches beautiful book to take its profound wisdom to heart.

Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche, author of The Joy of Living

Kongtrul Rinpoche delivers a series of profound explorations and expositions on one of the most important aspects of our spiritual practiceuncovering the tender warmth and affection in our hearts. This tenderness is the root source of all that is truly beneficial in the world. Rinpoche leads us through a foundational training for compassionate vision and our own liberation, with joyful diligence and an open heart.

Sharon Salzberg, author of Lovingkindness and Real Love

Deep, inspiring, and disarmingly simple, this book demonstrates our innate capacity for tenderness. A warm heart is the source of compassion, loving-kindness, and equanimity, even in the face of death. Thanks to the clear mind and kind heart of Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche, we now have a guide to cultivating this most precious quality and letting it shine out to the world.

Jan Chozen Bays, author of Mindful Eating

It is possible to cultivate true happiness in all aspects of our daily lives and to change our realityand that of the people around usin the process. Its all about arousing the warmth of heart that is our birthright as humans. Dzigar Kongtruls potent instruction manual shows you how.

Lodro Rinzler, author of Love Hurts

Books by Dzigar Kongtrul

Heart Advice

The Intelligent Heart

Its Up to You

Light Comes Through

Like a Diamond

Uncommon Happiness

Shambhala Publications, Inc.

4720 Walnut Street Boulder, Colorado 80301

www.shambhala.com

2018 by Dzigar Kongtrul

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

Ebook design adapted from printed book design by Liz Quan

Cover photograph by Peter McEwen

L IBRARY OF C ONGRESS C ATALOGING - IN -P UBLICATION D ATA

Names: Kongtrul, Dzigar, author.

Title: Training in tenderness: Buddhist teachings on Tsewa, the radical openness of heart that can change the world / Dzigar Kongtrul.

Description: First Edition. | Boulder: Shambhala, 2018.

Identifiers: LCCN 2017039942 | ISBN 9781611805581 (pbk.: alk. paper)

eISBN9780834841444

Subjects: LCSH : CompassionReligious aspectsBuddhism. | Spiritual LifeBuddhism.

Classification: LCC BQ 4360 . K67 2018 | DDC 294.3/5677dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2017039942

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Last year, in a surprise TED talk, Pope Francis called for a revolution of tenderness. He described tenderness as a movement that starts from our heart and reaches the eyes, the ears, and the hands. Tenderness means to use our eyes to see the other, our ears to hear the otherour hands and our heart to comfort the other.

According to the Buddhist view, all living beingsnot only humans, but fish, insects, and every other creaturealready possess this tenderness in their own hearts. As my root teacher Chgyam Trungpa Rinpoche used to say, All beings have the capacity for warm-hearted feelings. Everybody loves somebody or something, even if its just tortillas. We all have an infinite source of love in our hearts and the potential to enjoy that love deeply and to spread it widely through our interconnected world.

But although we have this wonderful potential, how to tap into it is far from obvious. For this reason, we need wise and skilled teachers to show us the way. In this area, Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche is one of the most highly qualified people I know. I have studied with Rinpoche since the mid-1990s and have benefited tremendously from his vast learning and deep understanding of the Dharma. His ability to communicate the Buddhas wisdom with clarity, humor, and modern-day relevance makes his teachings ideal for our times. Most importantly, he embodies the teachings on love and warmth in his daily life, in his relationships and activities, and in his very presence. In other words, Rinpoche practices what he preaches.

I am hopeful that Rinpoches new book will help many of us get to know and make the best of our own warmth of heart. May Training in Tenderness help to heal the anxiety and polarization of our world, and may it contribute to Pope Franciss revolution!

Pema Chdrn

If you are interested in reading this bookor any book of spiritual teachingschances are that two things are very important to you. One is the development of your own mind and heart. You may think of yourself as on a path toward a fully awakened state, or you may simply want more happiness and peace of mind. Whatever your motivation, it is an honorable one that gives meaning to your life. Second, beyond your aspirations for yourself, you are also concerned about the world and the beings living in it. Naturally, you care more about some people than others, but in general you want things to go well for all who share this world and for the surrounding environment.

These two concernsfor self and otherare not competing; in fact, they are intertwined harmoniously. Our individual progress benefits the world and others, and our care for the world and others opens our own minds and hearts. This connection between individual spiritual growth and wider benefit is important to emphasize, especially in these times, when people across the globe are struggling with so much conflict and confusion and dont know what to do or where to turn. Humanity has made tremendous progress in the last few centuriesin science, technology, health, literacy, and many other areas. Great achievements have improved the lives of many. In some countries, the average person today lives like a king or queen compared to the average person of a few hundred years ago. But the effects of humanitys achievements have also been very limited. They havent helped reduce conflict among human beings. They havent curbed our tendency to exploit those who are weaker than us, such as helpless animals. They havent discouraged us from exploiting the Earth itself, to the point where our planet now stands in a precarious situation. If we ever expected that material progress would increase harmony in the world, among people, and within our own minds, by now we must be very disappointed.

There is no simple solution to the worlds problems. We cant impose an improved structure for society from the outside. We cant remedy greed, aggression, and confusion with a pill. I believe there is only one way to bring about greater harmony in society and the environment, both locally and globally. This is for individuals like ourselves to work on our own minds and hearts so we can change from within.

We all have what it takes to do this. Why? Because every one of us is born with a profound quality that is like a wish-fulfilling jewel. This quality has served us throughout our lives, and it will continue to serve us. However, we havent scratched the surface of making the most of it. Weve enjoyed some of its benefits, but we havent learned how to apply it to all situations in our lives. We appreciate it, but we havent fathomed its significance. Weve relied on it, but we could rely on it a lot more.