Grace Elaine Valentine - Am I Enough?: Embracing the Truth About Who You Are

Contents

I ve had enough of trying to be good enough.

Good enough for the guy who wasnt faithful to me.

Good enough for the company that didnt offer me the summer internship of my dreams.

Good enough for the guy from my hometown who tweeted, Why cant the girls in our town look like this? during the Victorias Secret Fashion Show.

I wondered what I had done wrong to make the guy unfaithful. I blamed myself and doubted my worth, assuming the other gal was prettier and cooler than me. It made me feel as if I didnt have enough to offer him.

My eyes filled with tears as I read the email informing me I hadnt landed the internship. I overanalyzed every answer I could remember giving during the interview. Obviously, whatever I said (or didnt say) wasnt good enough for them, either.

The night of that tweet, I spent three hours working out at the gym. I thought I wasnt skinny enough, and in just two months, I dropped from a size 4 to a size 0.

That was a choice I made. But as young women, were often pushed to do everything other people want us to do. We meet the demands of our significant others in hopes of impressing them and feeling wanted. We use big words to sound smarter for the job we believe is the answer to our prayers. We count our squats in the gym and wake up earlier than we prefer so we can put on our makeup and be hot enough for the attractive guy in our chemistry lab.

We doubt our worth. We constantly play the comparison game. And for what? To find out someone else is hotter and smarter. More enough than we are.

The truth is, we will never be enough. We cant be enough. Not for this world anyway, because God didnt create us to please this world; He created us for His pleasure. And that creates a conflict. Both God and the world want us, but the Bible tells us that we cant belong to both.

Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. For everything in the worldthe lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of lifecomes not from the Father but from the world. (1 John 2:1516)

The line has been drawn.

Who Will You Dance With?

When I was in middle school, my mother signed me up for cotillionwhich, according to the dictionary, is a formal ball, especially one at which debutantes are presented. The experience was as awful as it sounds. I learned how to ballroom dancethe waltz, the cha-cha, the fox trot, and a number of other dances I still cannot pronounce. I received detailed instruction on dinner etiquette and how to present myself as a proper young lady. I forgot most of what I learned, but I do remember this about cotillion: we had to dance with boys.

Now that Im a young woman, my mother wouldnt have to make me dance with guys. But at that stage of middle school, dancing with boys? Id rather not. Unfortunately, my preferences were not taken into consideration.

I noticed something interesting at cotillion, though. While I was dancing, I was so focused on watching my partners feet and following his lead that I forgot how much I hated being there.

During the Christmas ball, my partner and I competed in the cha-cha. Im competitive, and as much as I wanted to be anywhere else, I wanted to win even morenot just for pride, but also for the prize of the most amazing popcorn anyone could ever hope to taste.

I stared so intently at my partners feet that I saw nothing else as we danced. And we won. And my brother ate all my popcorn. (Yes, E.J., Im still a little salty about that.)

Outside of our popcorn-winning cha-cha, dances never proved to be as fun as my mom made them sound.

God is truth, and the world tells us lies in an attempt to take us away from Him. When we fall victim to those liesand this next we definitely includes mewe choose to dance with the world instead of God. Frankly, thats not a dance I enjoy.

I was thinking about cotillion and dancing the other day, and I asked myself, Why do I follow so many things of this world that Iknow are not satisfying? I keep dancing with the world. I keep dancing with my insecurities. My life has basically become me dancing to the wrong beat and with the wrong partnerover and over again. Ive been off count, stressed, and a total mess. Ive caught myself dancing to the wrong music as I worried about keeping up with a world I was not meant to keep up with. I have looked up from my feet to see Im following the lead of my insecurities when I should be following my Creator.

Ive caught myself trying to be enough for a partner I wasnt made to dance with.

Ive heard plenty of you confess the same thoughts. Please know that we are far from alone in this struggle. Were in this together, ladies.

Can we declare together, right here, right now, that weve had enough of trying to be good enough?

Of asking:

Am I happy enough?

Am I loved enough?

Am I Christian enough?

Am I ever going to be enough?

There is One who is listening when we ask our Am I enough? questions. When we doubt ourselves, when we question our worth, when we ask if theres anyone out there willing to love us as we are, He answers, I am.

God wants us to ditch the Am I... ? questions and build our lives on truth. He is offering His hand to you, hoping you will accept His offer to dance.

Lies, Lies, Lies

As young women, there are ten lies the world tells us every day. We cant truly follow the Lords lead if we believe:

1. You are beautiful because a guy told you so.

2. Love must be earned.

3. Forget your past.

4. When you dont look presentable, hide.

5. Numbers are the judge of beauty.

6. God just wants to be your friend.

7. Strong women cry only in the bathroom.

8. Nicholas Sparks writes the best love stories.

9. Prayer is only for when you need help.

10. You will never be enough.

Lies. All lies.

My new friend, I believe it is not coincidence that you are reading this book, because its likely youve believed some of those lies. Maybe all of them. My purpose here is to deconstruct these ten lies and replace them with the truth God is whispering into our hearts and minds. So Im asking you to take this journey with me.

Throughout this book, my prayer is that you are able to identify how these lies are impacting the way you view yourself and your actions. I know from experience that insecurity destroys. Insecurity crawls into our souls, seeking to steal the joy we derive from dancing with the Lord.

Spoiler alert: there is good news ahead. Grace and joy will be offered. You only have to accept.

Each of these ten lies affects you, just like they affect me. So as you explore the different sections of this book, I challenge you to read, believe, and share. Read the truth. Believe the truth, and allow it to set you free from the bondage of insecurity. Then share the truth with others who need to hear it.

Allow this book and the best love story of all timethe gospelto change how you view yourself. Share what you read and learn with the friend who keeps wondering if her exs new girlfriend is hotter than she is. With the friend who didnt get her dream job. And with all the women you love who need to be reminded to love themselves.

Insecurity robs women of their joy. Allow the gospel to win. Allow truth to set free those you love.

But, friend, it starts with you. Take this challenge seriously. Journal through each lie. Take time to pray after each chapter. And most important, put on your dancing shoes.

We ladies need to stick together! Treat this book as the ultimate girls night out. Let our time together feel like 2 a.m., when you and your best friends are still wide awake, talking about life over pints of Ben & Jerrys ice cream. I promise to be honest with you, and I pray that you will be honest with yourself too.