Lara E. Fielding - Mastering Adulthood: Go Beyond Adulting to Become an Emotional Grown-Up

Mastering Adulthood does a masterful job of bringing timeless wisdom and practical solutions to young adults. Current social and economic conditions can seem challenging to young people who seek to live lives of meaning, purpose, and joy. Fielding provides evidence-based methods, humor, and practical enlightenment for those facing these hurdles. In fact, this user-friendly guidebook for living with mindful purpose could help just about anybody, at any stage of life.

Dennis Tirch, PhD , author of The Compassionate-Mind Guide to Overcoming Anxiety , and founder of The Center for Compassion Focused Therapy

Finally, a how-to book for transition age adults. So often manuals with behavioral skills are either too young or too old for eighteen- to twenty-five-year-olds. Fielding uses examples, stories, and practices that will resonate with people who are entering adulthood. Mastering Adulthood combines mindfulness and current emotion regulation strategies in a practical, easy-to-use format. This book can be used by young adults alone, with others, or in a counseling setting. I have begun to use the dashboard practices and the pauses with my own clients.

Shari Manning, PhD , CEO and founder of Treatment Implementation Collaborative and SC Center for Dialectical Behavior Therapy, and author of Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder

Adulthood is becoming more complicated. All of us need help, and Lara E. Fielding has written a wonderful guide. Mastering Adulthood will teach readers how patterned habits keep us stuck, how to then develop new and more effective behaviors, and the practice of mindfulness as the key to establishing a more grounded and emotionally attuned life.

Blaise Aguirre, MD , medical director of 3East DBT-Continuum at McLean Hospital, assistant professor in the department of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, and coauthor of Mindfulness for Borderline Personality Disorder and Coping with BPD

I could not love this book more! Fielding beautifully weaves case examples, personal experience, research, and brilliant use of metaphor into a fun, easy-to-digest book designed to help young adults tackle the psychological complexities of growing into emotionally competent, independent adults. While the language and examples are geared toward a twentysomething to thirtysomething audience, any individual interested in greater self-knowledge and psychological growth can benefit from the evidence-based concepts in Mastering Adulthood I know I did!

Jill A. Stoddard, PhD , director of The Center for Stress and Anxiety Management in San Diego, CA, and coauthor of The Big Book of ACT Metaphors

Lara Fieldings enthusiasm for helping those who wish to have an engaging and meaningful adult life shines through in Mastering Adulthood . Her ability to guide you through learning how to develop and practice psychological flexibility, as well as emotion management, is skillful. She has created a book grounded in solid evidence of psychological theory and practice that will help those grappling with adulting find new ways to cope with the realities of adulthood in a fast-paced world. For those thousands of people seeking guidance on how to successfully navigate this thing called living, Fielding expertly teaches you how to get in the drivers seat and steer toward success!

Robyn D. Walser, PhD , licensed clinical psychologist; coauthor of Learning ACT , The Mindful Couple , Acceptance and Commitment Therapy for the Treatment of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and Trauma-Related Problems ; and author of The Heart of ACT

There is more to adulthood than handling its instrumental challenges. If you stop there, you will never learn how to create the kind of life you really want. This comprehensive and cleverly organized book invites you to look more deeply at your habits of handling emotions, to find what really motivates you, and then to construct the skills you need build your life around deeper goals: relationships that matter, work that prospers, a profound connection with life. Adulthood doesnt come with an owners manualyou need to explore what makes you tick and draft your own. This book will help. Highly recommended.

Steven C. Hayes, PhD , professor in the department of psychology at the University of Nevada, developer of acceptance and commitment therapy, and author of Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life

This is the book I needed to grow up. Here is help to know what truly matters, what you truly care about. And with clarity about core values comes motivation and a surer sense of direction. Of equal importance is how Mastering Adulthood helps you overcome the emotional and mental roadblocksthose nasty passengers everyone carriesthat sometimes keep you from fully embracing life. This masterful book, based on the principles of acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), can throw open the doors to becoming a vital, self-directed grown-up.

Matthew McKay, PhD , coauthor of Mind and Emotions

Publishers Note

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.

Rumi, excerpt from The Guesthouse, translated by Coleman Barks. Copyright 1997 by Coleman Barks. Used by permission.

Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books

Copyright 2019 by Lara E. Fielding

New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

5674 Shattuck Avenue

Oakland, CA 94609

www.newharbinger.com

Cover design by Amy Shoup

Acquired by Elizabeth Hollis Hansen

Edited by Gretel Hakanson

All Rights Reserved

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Fielding, Lara E., author.

Title: Mastering adulthood : go beyond adulting to become an emotional grown-up / Lara E. Fielding.

Description: Oakland, CA : New Harbinger Publications, 2019. | Includes bibliographical references.

Identifiers: LCCN 2018031429 (print) | LCCN 2018032654 (ebook) | ISBN 9781684031948 (PDF e-book) | ISBN 9781684031955 (ePub) | ISBN 9781684031931 (paperback)

Subjects: LCSH: Adulthood--Psychological aspects. | Emotions. | Stress management. | Self-actualization (Psychology) | BISAC: PSYCHOLOGY / Developmental / Adulthood & Aging. | SELF-HELP / Personal Growth / Happiness. | SELF-HELP / Stress Management.

Classification: LCC BF724.5 (ebook) | LCC BF724.5 .F54 2019 (print) | DDC 155.67--dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2018031429

To my Ruben

For providing so much support and evidence to the contrary

My passengers could no longer get in the way

of this lifelong valued outcome.

Thank You!

And

In loving memory of

the one who guided me,

and was instrumental to the adult I became:

R. Scott Brooks.

Never Forgotten.

Contents

Introduction

Part I: Waking Up to the Universal You

1. The Emotional Habits That Bind Us

2. Your Mind-Body Vehicle: Your Holistic System

3. Passengers: The Hijackers and Bullies

4. Learning to Love Your Passengers

Part II: Unique You: Getting Self-Aware

5. Tuning In to Your Autopilot Patterns

6. Setting Your GPS for True North

7. Putting Your Vehicle in Gear: Making a Commitment

Part III: Skillful You: Getting Skilled Up for Mastering Adulthood